Stuart Bloom Quotes Page 2 of 17

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Quote from the episode The Flaming Spittoon Acquisition

Howard: You interested in Amy?
Stuart: Well, I mean she didn't look through me with soul-sucking ball-shriveling hatred and contempt. I like that in a woman.

Quote from the episode The Bitcoin Entanglement

Sheldon: Oh, Stuart, good. I was wondering, will you be accepting Bitcoin?
Stuart: Well, I don't know what that is, but it's got "coin" in it, and my cash register doesn't, so yeah.

Quote from the episode The Occupation Recalibration

Bernadette: I accidentally destroyed one of Howard's comic books this morning and I was hoping I could replace it.
Stuart: What happened?
Bernadette: Batman got his ass kicked by my curling iron.
Stuart: Don't let the Riddler know that. It's a comic book joke.
*Bernadette stares blankly*
Stuart: Or maybe it's not.

Quote from the episode The Comet Polarization

Stuart: Listen to this. I-I was ringing up a customer, and I heard someone say, "Hey, there's a line," and I looked, and there was.

Quote from the episode The Viewing Party Combustion

Stuart: So what happened with you and Howard?
Raj: Says I was talking too much about dating Claire and Emily, and I accused him of being jealous.
Stuart: I'm jealous. Closest I've come to dating two women was that time I dated one woman.

Quote from the episode The Cooper Extraction

Amy: (Talking about "It's A Wonderful Life") It's great. It's Christmas time, and Jimmy Stewart's really depressed and he's gonna jump off a bridge and kill himself.
Stuart: Don't need to see it, living it!

Quote from the episode The Hofstadter Isotope

Penny: What would you recommend as a present for a 13-year-old boy?
Stuart: A 13-year-old girl.

Quote from the episode The Maternal Combustion

Raj: How old is this Jell-O?
Stuart: Well, it's carrots, so I'm gonna say very.

Quote from the episode The Conference Valuation

Stuart: Where are the kids?
Howard: I thought they were with you.
Stuart: What? No!
Howard: I'm kidding. They're at daycare.
Stuart: What about me makes you think my heart can handle that joke?

Quote from the episode The Recollection Dissipation

Stuart: Oh, thanks again for letting me use your laptop last night.
Bernadette: No problem.
Stuart: Was just doing my taxes.
Bernadette: Okay.
Stuart: Actually, if I could if I could just check one more-
Bernadette: Already cleared the browser history.
Stuart: You're a good woman.

Quote from the episode The Holographic Excitation

Raj: Would you like me to help? I do have a certain je ne sais quoi when it comes to soirees.
Stuart: Thanks, but I can't afford je ne sais quoi. How much for just quoi?

Quote from the episode The Excelsior Acquisition

Stuart: I will give you the address if you go to my cousin's wedding with me.
Penny: You're extorting a date out of me?
Stuart: I kinda have to. The cousin who's getting married is the cousin I usually go to weddings with.

Quote from the episode The Date Night Variable

Leonard: You know, it's not exactly glamorous up there. The water that the astronauts drink is made from each other's recycled urine.
Stuart: Must be nice. Nobody wants anything that comes out of me.

Quote from the episode The Status Quo Combustion

*As Stuart moves a box, a piece of the ceiling falls down*
Stuart: That could have killed me. ... Can't catch a break.

Quote from the episode The Occupation Recalibration

Stuart: You know something, Jesse. You may have a successful business and the kind of pink complexion that comes with good nutrition, but I have something more important.
Jesse: What's that?
Stuart: Friendship ... which I would trade in a heartbeat for all this.

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