Sheldon: Leonard, as soon as we get home, I want to have coitus with Amy. [checks for Amy's reaction] Okay, she can't hear.

Dan: You're scared of Bernadette?
Penny: Yeah, kinda.
Dan: I thought it was just me! Everyone thinks she's so nice with the little squeaky voice!

Sheldon: Sherlock Holmes always says when you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth. Now, have you tried doing that?
Officer Hernandez: Nope.
Sheldon: Well, maybe you should. There's lots of books called Sherlock Holmes and there's no books called Officer Hernandez.

Sheldon: I feel renewed. I'm ready to deal with any changes that come my way. [sees Penny] Your hair is different. You changed your hair. I can't take this. I'm out.

Bernadette: Oh, I understand. You wanna do something you're already good at? I know, why don't I get you a job at the sitting around all day wearing yoga pants factory?

Sheldon: Amy, may I please have a moment of privacy to speak with my roommate?
Amy: We're in a moving car! What do you expect me to do, stick my fingers in my ears?
Sheldon: I was thinking put your head out the window like a dog, but that'll work.

Leonard: You feel like driving to Arizona with me?
Penny: I can't. I have that job interview.
Leonard: Oh, right.
Penny: Besides, I don't need six hours of "Your hair is different. Why did you change your hair? I'm holding my breath until your hair grows back."

Penny: I haven't been on a job interview in years. I'm really nervous.
Bernadette: Don't be. You're built for pharmaceutical sales. You're cute, you're flirty, and I started that like there were gonna be three things.

Howard: You just started seeing women naked again. I don't want you to be confused about where the boobs should be.

Leonard: Hey, can you think of a reason why I shouldn't invite Amy to come with me?
Penny: No.
Leonard: Come on, you didn't even try.

Howard: No, not like us. Creepy chummy. Like you and your dog.
Raj: She feeds him out of her own mouth?
Howard: I mean he calls her Debbie, she calls him Stewie, and they're all giggly around each other. And believe me when food goes in that mouth it does not come out.

Sheldon: Excuse me. Is it at all possible that you're knitting a pair of pants?

Amy: Sheldon, it's okay with me if you're not perfect.
Sheldon: Amy, can I have one more moment with Leonard?
Amy: Sure.
Sheldon: Amy just hurt my feelings. I wanna break up with her.

Leonard: If you had told anyone that you were going away on a train, by yourself, across the country, do you know what they would have said?
Sheldon: That I couldn't do it?
Leonard: Exactly. Right after they said 'yeah!'

Leonard: Sheldon, hang tight. Hey, do you want me to bring you anything?
Sheldon: Yes, please. A pair of pants, and my toothbrush, and my mail, and a really good come back for chicken legs. Because "I know you are, but what am I?" was met with stony silence.