Amy: So, Penny, how's married life?
Penny: Oh, it's good. I just wish Leonard would work up the courage to tell Sheldon he's moving in here.
Bernadette: You guys still aren't living together?
Penny: We are. I mean, he sleeps here. But it's only a matter of time before Sheldon has a bad dream and tries to climb into bed with the Leonard-shaped pile of pillows.

Amy: How long do you think you can keep it from him?
Bernadette: Yeah, isn't it gonna get worse the longer you wait?
Penny: Well, not necessarily. You know, Dad's not getting any younger, so if I wait long enough, I'll just tell him he walked me down the aisle and it was magical.

Bernadette: We'll take you to the mall to get it done.
Penny: Why? I can do it right here.
Amy: Really? You have a piercing gun?
Penny: No. All you need is a needle and an ice cube. I've done it, like, a dozen times.
Amy: Oh, I don't know.
Penny: Oh, come on. I'll be gentle. Let me take your ear virginity.
Bernadette: This party's weird.

Amy: Hi, Mom.
How are you doing? Oh, good.
How's work? That's nice.
I'm fine.
Hey, listen, I've been meaning to ask, how come Aunt Doe and Aunt Florence never got along?
Penny: Okay, just give me that. Amy broke up with Sheldon, she got her ears pierced and she made us eat penis cookies!
Hang on. She wants to talk to you.

Penny: Why am I so nervous?
Bernadette: It's understandable. Amy was afraid to tell her mom she broke up with Sheldon.
Penny: Yeah? How did it go? Did she make you crawl into the breaking-up drawer?

Penny: Sheldon, I can't believe you got us a wedding gift.
Sheldon: I don't know why you're so surprised. I watch movies. I see what people do.
Leonard: What is this?
Sheldon: Plane tickets and hotel reservations for a weekend away in San Francisco.
Penny: That is so great!
Sheldon: Yeah, there's fisherman's wharf, and Alcatraz, and cable cars. We're gonna have so much fun.
Penny: We?
Sheldon: Is there a problem?
Penny: Uh, no, no. I just said "Weeee!"

Penny: Sometimes I worry you're going to wake up and leave me for someone more like you.
Leonard: I don't even understand why you're with someone like me. Why would I want to be with someone like me?
Penny: You know what I mean. And maybe the way I've been reacting was me sabotaging this, too.

Leonard: Do you remember when you accused me of trying to sabotage our wedding?
Penny: Uh-huh.
Leonard: I've been thinking about it and you might be right. But the good news is I'm pretty sure I know why.
Penny: I'm listening.
Leonard: Penny, after all these years I still feel like maybe I don't deserve you.
Penny: Okay, that is the lamest excuse you could have possibly come up. But I get it.

Penny: You wrote vows?
Leonard: Yes.
Penny: I don't have any. You're kind of making me look bad.
Leonard: I don't have to say them.
Penny: No, go ahead. I'll come up with something mushy, you'll cry. We've got this.

Penny: Whatever. Put us on the Internet. I've always wanted a wedding with a comments section.

Leonard: So, what do you think? Should we run next door and grab a bite?
Penny: Well, what if they call our names?
Leonard: Oh, don't worry. They gave me this vibrating coaster.
Penny: Oh, and the fairy tale continues.

Penny: Nicely done.
Leonard: Finally there's a Mrs. Hofstadter who isn't disappointed in me.
Penny: Well, the night is still young.

Penny: Leonard. You're not only the love of my life. You're my best friend. And you've got a friend in me. You got troubles. I got 'em too. There isn't anything I wouldn't do for you. We stick together and we can see it through, because you've got a friend in me.

Penny: And you know what the best part is? We took our time. I mean, we met, we were friends for a couple years, then we got together, and then we got untogether, then we worked out all our problems, and now we know everything about each other, we can just go forward with no surprises and no regrets.
Leonard: Right. No surprises.
Penny: And no regrets.

Sheldon: Amy's mad at me, and I'm not clear why.
Penny: Okay, were you talking before she got upset?
Sheldon: Yes.
Penny: That's probably it.