Leonard: Is the Wi-Fi working for you?
Penny: Uh, hang on. I don't think so, I'm clicking on "One weird trick for a flat belly," but I'm still seeing "Celebrities who look like their pets".

Sheldon: Oh! Remember when we got this at Comic-Con?
Leonard: Oh, yeah. The Mr. Spock cuckoo clock.
Clock: Live long and prosper. Live long and prosper. Live long and prosper. Live long and prosper.
Sheldon: It's one of a kind.
Penny: So if it breaks there'd be none of it?

Sheldon: You know, Leonard, the more I think about it, there are a number of mutually owned items in this apartment that you and I should go through. Uh, for example who gets our beloved sword, Longclaw?
Penny: Why don't you keep it?
Sheldon: That seems fair. We did just give you the painting.
Penny: Yeah, I don't need anything around that I can stab myself with.

Sheldon: There's hooks in the closet, I can hang it right now.
Penny: Oh, no, no, those hooks are gone.
Sheldon: What happened to them?
Penny: Uh, we ran out of candy on Halloween, I was just giving everything away.

Penny: Seriously, none of you liked it?
Bernadette: I thought it was brave. Does that count as liking it?
Penny: You know, how come nobody's talking about Howard's dopey haircut?
Bernadette: I think he looks cute.
Howard: And I think you're cute.
Raj: I think you're both cute.
Penny: I think I hate all of you nerds.

Amy: Sheldon, it's foolish to be angry that Bert's work has merit.
Sheldon: Yeah, well I am angry! And you telling me not to be angry makes me angry! And do you know how hearing myself say the word angry over and over makes me feel?
Penny: (raises her hand) Ooh, angry?
Leonard: What are you doing?
Penny: I knew the answer. I got excited.

Leonard: It's always fun watching him read someone else's work.
*Sheldon grimaces as he's reading Bert's paper*
Penny: It's like scrolling through the emojis on my phone.

Penny: Now, when he said "make a baby" is it possible he meant out of Legos?
Amy: No. He was explicit. Needlessly and freakishly explicit.

Leonard: I'm kidding, I want you to feel at home here. Decorate it any way that makes you happy.
Penny: Do you really mean that?
Leonard: I really do.
Penny: Great, and just so you know, I'm not getting rid of all your stuff.
Leonard: Yeah? What are you keeping?
Penny: That candle and ... you.
Leonard: What about my robot poster?
Penny: Buh, buh, buh, buh, buh- I can make do with just the candle.

Raj: Now that everything's out on the table, you think you two will keep living together?
Sheldon: Despite recent events, I do consider our experiment in cohabitation to have been positive.
Amy: Are you saying you'd like to live with me?
Sheldon: I'm open to the possibility.
Amy: (gasps)
Penny: Amy, b-be, b-cool.

Leonard: And what's it called when you secretly get rid of all your husband's stuff?
Penny: Wha-That is not true!
Leonard: Bernadette told Howard, Howard told me. Plus, I can see all my stuff is gone!
Penny: Oh, so, you believe your friend, and your friend's wife and your own eyes over me? Wow.

Amy: I'm sorry that I lied about my apartment.
Sheldon: It's all right.
Leonard: And...
Penny: And what? Your wizard robes are next to go.

Guy: I didn't know you can propose to the same person so many times.
Leonard: The third time, I did it in skywriting, but she never looked up.
Penny: You know, once, I proposed to him.
Leonard: Yeah. I said no.
Guy #2: Why?
Leonard: I just wanted to make her work for it.
Penny: Yeah, that's gonna cost you later.

Guy: But how did you get her to go out with you?
Leonard: Well, she moved in across the hall.
Penny: And he started to slowly wear me down.
Leonard: Mm-hmm. Like a river carves a canyon.
Penny: Yeah, except the river kept showing me his Pokemon cards.

Penny: What's your name?
Jeff: Jeff.
Penny: Okay.
Jeff: My favorite part is your shower scene.
Penny: Been hearing that a lot today.
Jeff: I even have a screen grab on my phone.
Penny: Yep, there they are.