Raj Koothrappali Quotes Page 34 of 38

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Quote from the episode The Positive Negative Reaction

Leonard: Ready to play when you are.
Howard: Yeah, um, in a minute. I actually need to tell you guys something.
Raj: If it's "thank you" for the homemade jam you got in December, congratulations, you're the first one.

Quote from the episode The Application Deterioration

Raj: I mean, do I open it? Do I return it?
Amy: Why wouldn't you open it?
Raj: Well, she was pretty mad. For all I know it's a voodoo doll of me with a fork stuck in my junk.

Quote from the episode The Application Deterioration

Penny: Okay, so, she drops off a $500 gift and she's not trying to get back together with you?
Raj: Maybe you're right.
Bernadette: Or she's telling the truth and just being nice.
Raj: Maybe you're right. Wow, I am easy to manipulate.

Quote from the episode The Application Deterioration

Raj: Hello?
Claire: Hey, Raj. It's Claire. How are you?
Raj: Hi. I'm good. Really good.
Well, I don't know why I said "really good." I'm just regular good. I really just wanted to sound confident. And that "really" was a real "really", not a fake "really" like the first "really."
Claire: Really?
Raj: I don't know. I lost track and I missed my exit.

Quote from the episode The Application Deterioration

Raj: So, uh so what's up?
Claire: Well, last time we talked, I had just gotten back together with my boyfriend, and I wanted to let you know that things didn't work out.
Raj: Really? I'm sorry, I swear I know other words.

Quote from the episode The Application Deterioration

Claire: So if you were still interested-
Raj: Yes! Indeed! Absolutely! Indubitably! I'm not even sure what the last one means, but it's another word, and I know it.

Quote from the episode The Application Deterioration

Raj: So, uh, when do you want to meet up?
Claire: Uh, I'm almost off work. What are you doing now? Right now, well- Well, actually, tto be completely honest, I'm stopping by to see my ex-girlfriend because she's having a tough time. But it's not like we're getting back together or anything.
Claire: Let me guess, the worst part about breaking up is that she doesn't have her best friend to talk to anymore?
Raj: That's exactly what she said! How do you know that?
Claire: I'm a girl. It's, like, page one out of the playbook.
Raj: Any chance you could send me a PDF of that playbook?

Quote from the episode The Solder Excursion Diversion

Penny: All right, how are we gonna play this when they return?
Raj: I know. You guys should totally be making out with me.
Penny: Sweetie, I know you think jokes like that are funny, but do you really think you could handle making out with both of us? (Penny gets close to Raj)
Raj: No, ma'am.

Quote from the episode The Solder Excursion Diversion

Howard: Ready for dinner?
Penny: Yeah.
Bernadette: Should we invite Raj?
Raj: (Inside the closet) Yes.

Quote from the episode The Big Bear Precipitation

Howard: All right, here we go.
Bernadette: I'm not hearing anything.
Howard: Well, give me a second.
Raj: Are you sure you can do this?
Howard: Hey, who found four dollars and change on the beach with his metal detector?
Raj: I buried it there so we could go home.

Quote from the episode The Viewing Party Combustion

Raj: But, dude, you're so lucky. Getting to stay home at night with the woman you love.
Howard: I guess I am lucky.
Raj: You are, because dating two women, I mean, I can't even remember the last time I slept in my own apartment. I wake up and I'm like, am I at Claire's or am I at Emily's? Is there a third girl I've forgotten about? Like, where am I?

Quote from the episode The Viewing Party Combustion

Howard: If it's a girl, I mean, they're so innocent and you know how guys are.
Raj: Totally, guys are the worst. I mean, look at me. I let Emily make me a frittata and I kept the leftovers in Claires fridge that night. I'm such a dog.

Quote from the episode The Viewing Party Combustion

Raj: Hey, did I say something to upset you?
Howard: No, I'm fine.
Raj: Really? Because usually we walk side by side, and I just went up two flights of stairs staring at your bottom.

Quote from the episode The Viewing Party Combustion

Raj: Okay, I think I see what's happening here. You're jealous of me.
Howard: Oh, please. What could you possibly have that I would be jealous of?
Raj: It's not what I have, it's how many people I'm having it with.

Quote from the episode The Fermentation Bifurcation

Amy: Hey, Penny, isn't that your old boyfriend Zack?
Penny: Oh, yeah.
Amy: Are you gonna say hi to him?
Penny: Um, I don't know.
Raj: Hey, while you decide, who was better in bed, big hot Zack or wheezy little Leonard? Neener-neener.

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