Raj Koothrappali Quotes Page 34 of 38

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Quote from the episode The Viewing Party Combustion

Raj: You know, if you think about it, tonight was kind of like a real-life Game of Thrones.
Amy: How?
Raj: Well, Howard eating that pistachio was like when King Joffrey got poisoned.
Penny: Okay, well, that was murder, this was an accident.
Raj: Okay. But you using Sheldon to do your dirty work is like when Cersei used the Kings Guard to do her bidding.
Sheldon: Cersei uses her body to manipulate men. Penny just takes me to The LEGO Store.
Raj: Okay. Oh, how about this? Stuart's dressed like a brother of the Night's Watch, and they don't have sex.
Penny: There you go.
Leonard: That's true.
Sheldon: Fair enough.

Quote from the episode The Fermentation Bifurcation

Raj: Hey, you think it'd be okay if I brought Claire to the wine tasting?
Leonard: Sure. I'd like to meet her.
Raj: Oh, thats great. I've been wanting her to meet you guys, too, so this seems like the perfect opportunity.
Sheldon: Oh, but I won't be there.
Raj: Funny how that worked out.

Quote from the episode The Fermentation Bifurcation

Raj: Hey, Claire.
Claire: Hey, what's up?
Raj: Hi, yeah. Um, I was wondering, if you're free Saturday night, all my friends are going to a wine tasting.
Claire: Sure, I guess. If you don't think meeting your friends is too big a step.
Raj: Why would it be too big a step?
Claire: I don't know. I just don't want things to get weird.
Raj: Nothing to worry about. People meet people all the time, and it isn't weird. I met Bon Jovi once, which you'd think might be weird. Turns out, total sweetheart.
Claire: Okay, but you and I have been keeping things casual. Uh, will you introduce me as your friend or as your girlfriend? What if I like them and they don't like me? What if they like me and I don't like them?
Raj: Boy, it wasn't this hard with Bon Jovi. I said you rock, he said "Thanks, man," and that was that.

Quote from the episode The Fermentation Bifurcation

Amy: Hey, Penny, isn't that your old boyfriend Zack?
Penny: Oh, yeah.
Amy: Are you gonna say hi to him?
Penny: Um, I don't know.
Raj: Hey, while you decide, who was better in bed, big hot Zack or wheezy little Leonard? Neener-neener.

Quote from the episode The Fermentation Bifurcation

Claire: Hey, Raj.
Raj: Hey, Claire. Good, you're here. Guys, this is my friend Claire. We're casually dating, and there's no need for any further questions about it.
Leonard: Would you like a glass of wine?
Raj: I said no questions.

Quote from the episode The Line Substitution Solution

Raj: Boy, all this standing's making me tired. Good thing I brought my collapsible stick chair.
Howard: Not the stick chair. You look like an idiot on that thing.
Raj: Sticks and stones may break my bones, but chairs on sticks are comfy.

Quote from the episode The Line Substitution Solution

Sheldon: What about Joss Whedon's work makes you think he'd be okay with rule-breakers and line-cutters?
Guy: The Avengers are rule-breakers. Being vengeful is in their job description.
Sheldon: They work for SHIELD, which is a sanctioned department of the U.S. Government. Do you work for a sanctioned department of the U.S. Government?
Guy: As a matter of fact I do. At a little place called the DMV.
Raj: He's got him there. The D even stands for department.

Quote from the episode The Convergence Convergence

Howard: Hey, I just got an e-mail from the U.S. Air Force.
Raj: Open it.
Howard: Hmm. "We request a meeting at your earliest convenience regarding your quantum guidance system, provisional patent 62/295118." That's weird.
Raj: Is there a window around here we don't know about?
Howard: I'm sure it's just a coincidence.
Raj: Yeah, of course. What else could it be? (loudly) Boy, do I love America!

Quote from the episode The Convergence Convergence

Howard: I'm sorry, you find this funny?
Raj: No, I was just thinking about Jurassic World. Boy, that was terrible.

Quote from the episode The Convergence Convergence

Howard: I don't know what to do. It's the Air Force. I mean, should I respond to their e-mail? Ignore it?
Raj: You can't ignore it. It's not that postcard that says it's time to go back to the dentist.

Quote from the episode The Convergence Convergence

Howard: I'm just afraid if I respond, then they'll know I got it.
Raj: Oh, dude. The minute you opened that e-mail, they knew you got it. I mean, they're probably looking at you through the camera right now. (Howard closes the laptop, Raj re-opens it and looks at the camera) I love America!

Quote from the episode The Convergence Convergence

Bernadette: Are you done with this nonsense?
Howard: It's not nonsense. This is how the U.S. military works.
Raj: Oh, if it's even the U.S. Military. It could be foreign military pretending to be American.
Howard: You're right. We turn our guidance system over to them, next thing we know, they're using it against us.
Raj: (Raj opens the laptop again) I also love the enemies of America.

Quote from the episode The Convergence Convergence

Bernadette: Oh, stop. You know what's really happening? All the movies you've watched, the TV shows, the comic books, they've completely twisted your thinking. No one's after you, no one's listening to you, no one cares about you.
Raj: I'd like to think the Four on Your Side guy cares about me.

Quote from the episode The Countdown Reflection

Leonard: There's Howard's rocket, live from Kazakhstan.
Bernadette: Oh, God, I'm so nervous. I don't think I can watch.
Raj: Youre nervous? I've been stress-eating for four days. Look at me. I'm wearing my fat pants.

Quote from the episode The Countdown Reflection

Leonard: Where'd you get a beer?
Raj: From that happy young couple over there with all the tattoos. Beautiful story. They're in rival drug gangs, and they're getting married. Shh, no one can know.

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