Quotes from ‘The Creepy Candy Coating Corollary’

The Creepy Candy Coating Corollary

'The Creepy Candy Coating Corollary' - Season 3, Episode 5

When Raj and Sheldon enter a tournament at the comic book store, Sheldon gets the opportunity to settle a score with his nemesis, Wil Wheaton. Meanwhile, Wolowitz calls on a pact with Leonard for Penny to set him up with one of her friends.

Air Date: October 19, 2009.

Quote from Howard

Bernadette: Does your mother call you every day at work to see if you had a healthy lunch?
Howard: My mother calls me every day at work to see if I had a healthy bowel movement.

Quote from Wil Wheaton

Wil Wheaton: Game over, Moonpie.

Quote from Howard

Wolowitz: Puppies, how do you stand on puppies?
Bernadette: A puppy once bit my face!
Wolowitz: Of course it did.

Quote from Sheldon

Leonard: Can I have a napkin.
Sheldon: I'm sorry, no!
Leonard: But you have a whole bunch of napkins.
Sheldon: Yes, I've moved to a four napkin system, lap, hands, face, and personal emergency. If you like, starting tomorrow, I'll add a guest napkin but I'm afraid there's nothing I can do for you today.
*Leonard grabs a napkin.*
Sheldon: Good luck, that's the face napkin.

Quote from Wil Wheaton

Wil Wheaton: Did that guy just say "Revenge is a dish best served cold" to me in Klingon?

Wil Wheaton: What's wrong with him?
Stuart: Everybody has a different theory.

Quote from Penny

Leonard: A long time ago, I made a deal with Howard involving you.
Penny: Okay, I don't know where this is going, but tread carefully, because this may be the last conversation we ever have.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon:Excuse me, are you saying that Wil Wheaton, a.k.a. Ensign Wesley Crusher on Star Trek: The Next Generation, is going to be participating in your tournament?
Stuart: I'm sorry, did I rob you of the opportunity to stumble onto that for yourself?
Sheldon: No, wait, you don't understand. Growing up, I idolized Wil Wheaton. You know, Wesley Crusher had an eidetic memory just like me.
Raj: Oh, what a coincidence. Maybe you can discuss that with him while you're playing in the tournament. Sign here.
Sheldon: Yeah, I was such a fan that in 1995, I traveled 10 hours by bus to a sci-fi convention in Jackson, Mississippi wearing my Starfleet Academy cadet uniform in order to meet Wil Wheaton and get him to autograph my mint-in-package Wesley Crusher action figure.
Raj: Oh, It'll be like a reunion then. Sign here.
Sheldon: (Mood changes) Yeah, my arduous journey, however, was for naught. Although advertised to appear, he did not show up. It was at that moment I vowed eternal hatred for Wil Wheaton.
Raj: Okay, great, you can tell him you hate him, sign here.
Sheldon: It might interest you to know that Wil Wheaton currently ranks 6th on my all-time enemies list, right between director Joel Schumacher, who nearly destroyed the Batman movie franchise, and Billy Sparks, who lived down the street from me and put dog poop on the handles of my bicycle.

Quote from Leonard

Leonard: What am I supposed to ask her? "Hey Penny, you got any friends that you never want to talk to again?"

Quote from Penny

Leonard: You know deep down inside, Howard's a nice guy.
Penny: The problem isn't what's on the inside. It's the creepy candy coating.

Quote from Leonard

Leonard: How about that, Einstein was wrong.
Penny: What?
Leonard: Approaching the speed of light doesn't slow down time, approaching them does.

Quote from Wil Wheaton

Wil Wheaton: I call my meemaw, Nana, and she's going to be very happy to hear my small rock kills your enchanted bunny.

Quote from Leonard

Leonard: When I made that agreement, I didn't think I'd ever have a hot girlfriend, and I was positive you never would.

Quote from Howard

Howard: (To Bernadette) A Catholic girl like you wearing a big cross like that might just give my mother the big brain aneurysm I've been hoping for.

Quote from Raj

Rajesh: What are you waiting for?! Kill Wil Wheaton! From hell's heart, stab at him!

Quote from Bernadette

Howard: How about computers? You like computers?
Bernadette: I use them, I don't like them.

Quote from Penny

Penny: The great thing about Ernie (Sesame Street Puppet) is that he didn't ask for anything, he just gave.

Quote from Penny

Penny: (About the cards) I got a question.
Leonard: Warlord beats troll, troll beats elf, elf beats water sprite, and basically everything beats Enchanted Bunny.
Howard: Unless you have the carrot of power.
Penny: Okay, I've got another question. When does this get fun?

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Now Fetch Me Will Wheaton! (SPEAKING KLINGON)
Wil Wheaton: Did that guy just say, "Revenge is a dish best served cold," in Klingon?
Stuart: I believe so.
Wil Wheaton: What is wrong with him?
Stuart: Everyone has a different theory.

Quote from Raj

Raj: How come I wasn't part of this deal?
Sheldon: You had left the refreshment stand in prder to indulge in your customary preemptive pre-show urination.
Raj: So, that's how it works? I have a teeny bladder and I don't get a hot girlfriend.
Howard: Yeah, Raj, that's how it works.
Raj: Damn!

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: From Hell's heart, I stab at thee!

Quote from Bernadette

Bernadette: My mother wouldn't let me ride a bicycle because she was afraid I might hit a bump and lose my virginity.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: In the words of Khan Noonien Singh in the immortal Wrath of Khan: "He tasks me, he tasks me and I shall have him."
Raj: No doubt! Sign here.
Sheldon: (Signing) "From hell's heart, I stab at thee."

Quote from Sheldon

Raj: Hey, Sheldon, guess what I've heard today.
Sheldon: I'd imagine you heard any number of things today. When you arrived at work, you undoubtedly heard: Hello, Raj; How are you, Raj; and given you're wearing a new sweater vest, you may have heard: "New Sweater Vest" and possible, though less likely "Nice Sweater Vest."

Quote from Howard

Howard: All right, Raj has played his Phantom Warlord card and I am going to back him up with my strangling vines. (Playing card, making gesture to Leonard) Choke on that, sucker.

Quote from Sheldon

Leonard: Sheldon has kind of a photographic memory.
Sheldon: "Photographic" is a misnomer. I have an eidetic memory, as I've told you many times. Most recently last year during lunch on the afternoon of May 7th. You had turkey and complained it was dry.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Die, Wil Wheaton, die!

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: The year was 1995, the place, Jackson, Mississippi, having spent 10 hours on a bus, during which I had to twice violate my personal rule against relieving myself onboard a moving vehicle, I finally arrived at the 4th annual Dixie Trek Convention only to find that my idol, Wil Wheaton, decided he had better things to do than show up and sign my action figure.
Wil Wheaton: What?!
Sheldon: You betrayed me, Wil Wheaton, now I have my revenge.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: (To Stuart) I can buy all these things online, I come here for the personal service.

Quote from Leonard

Leonard: Then I'll just cut your vines with my Ruby Sword. (Playing card, making gesture to Howard) That's right, I did it, I cut them.

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