Amy: Whee! Ooh, finally someone found second base.

Amy Farrah Fowler (text message): I don't care for perchloroethylene, and I don't like glycol ether.

Amy: Well, Howard's never gonna go to space again, but Sheldon will always be a genius.
Bernadette: You're right. And, I'm sure Sheldon will get a fancy parking spot again if and when he makes a worthwhile contribution to science.
Amy: If and when?

Amy: Check this out. I took the liberty of scripting a new outgoing voice mail message for both of us.
Sheldon: Hello. This is Sheldon.
Amy: And this is Amy.
Sheldon: We're not home right now.
Amy: 'cause we out dropping science, son.
Both: Leave a message.
Amy: Beep.

Amy: He knew as your girlfriend I wasn't going to let him bring a table in to your apartment. I mean, a table? Come on!

Raj: You can't leave. You're a murder suspect in the mysterious death of Stuart Bloom.
Bernadette: I didn't know his last name was Bloom.
Amy: Yeah, it's Bloom.

Amy: Actually, our relationship agreement covers a wide array of scenarios. Including career changes, financial instability, intelligent dog uprising. FYI, we plan on selling out the human race hard.

Amy: It actually was kinda fun.
Raj: You're just saying that.
Amy: Yeah.

Leonard: You and I never hang out like this. Why is that?
Amy: I know, it's weird, right?
Leonard: Yeah, we should do it more often.
Amy: Oh, no. I mean this is weird right now.

Leonard: It's Penny.
Amy: Is she mad?
Leonard: It doesn't seem like it. She got Sheldon to go to a psychic with her.
Amy: A psychic? He considers them not only mumbo-jumbo, but extra jumbo mumbo-jumbo.

Amy: Usually when someone's being talked about behind their back, it's me and it's right in front of my face.

Sheldon: You're acting odd. Why?
Amy: I'm odd all the time. Everyone knows that. Just last night, I tried to see how many Fava beans I could fit in my mouth.
Sheldon: Tell me the truth.
Amy: 28.
Sheldon: Come on.
Amy: 56.

Penny: Well, I've been poking around the internet and I think I've found something we'll enjoy watching even more.
Amy: What is it?
Penny: Oh, just a video of Bernadette in a beauty pageant.
Bernadette: Okay, I learned my lesson. Making fun of people is wrong.
Amy: I haven't learned my lesson, play it. Play it.

Amy: When I get married, I'm going to register at the UCLA Cadaver Lab.
Penny: Eww, why?
Amy: 'cause I've always wanted a whole human skeleton and they are really spendy.

Leonard: Well, I have some work to do, so-
Amy: I can't imagine that would disturb me. Carry on.
Leonard: Okay. Wouldn't you be more comfortable at home?
Amy: Not really, no.
Leonard: All righty then. Guess I'll just get started.
Amy: Leonard, please. I don't need the running commentary.