Leonard Hofstadter Quotes Page 2 of 74

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Quote from the episode The Hot Troll Deviation

Leonard: Sometimes your movements are so lifelike I forget you are not a real boy.

Quote from the episode Pilot

Leonard: Our babies will be smart and beautiful.
Sheldon: Not to mention imaginary.

Quote from the episode The Cruciferous Vegetable Amplification

Sheldon: At my age, do you know how I'm statistically most likely to die?
Leonard: At the hands of your room mate?
Sheldon: An accident.
Leonard: That's how I'm going to make it look.

Quote from the episode The Einstein Approximation

Leonard: Penny, I told you if you don't put him in his crate at night, he just runs around the apartment.

Quote from the episode The Panty Pinata Polarization

Leonard: Penny, you don't want to get into it with Sheldon. The guy's one lab accident away from being a super villain.

Quote from the episode The Panty Pinata Polarization

Wolowitz (watching America's Next Top Model): Oh, look! That's the future Mrs. Wolowitz. No, wait! That's the future Mrs. Wolowitz. With her head in the lap of... what a coincidence... it's the future Mrs. Wolowitz.
Leonard: Yeah, and they can all move in with you and your mother. The current Mrs. Wolowitz.

Quote from the episode The Einstein Approximation

Penny: What happened?
Leonard: Sheldon's escaped and he's terrorizing the village.

Quote from the episode The Comic Book Store Regeneration

Leonard: To Mrs. Wolowitz. A loving mother. To all of us. We'll miss you.

Quote from the episode The Locomotion Reverberation

Leonard: You know, I do have a way to get him out of our hair. I've been holding onto this for a few years, but maybe now's the time.
Howard: We can just lock the door; you don't have to kill him.
Leonard: You can't kill him; he'll just respawn at the last save point.

Quote from the episode The Fortification Implementation

Leonard: Well, you can spend the rest of the day being bitter about this--
Sheldon: Agreed.
Leonard: I was going to say "or," but why bother?

Quote from the episode The Prom Equivalency

Penny: Well you wouldn't have asked me either.
Leonard: I would have asked you. In my head. On the way home. While I was having a good cry.

Quote from the episode The Champagne Reflection

Howard: Don't feel bad. Some day someone will be throwing out your work, too.
Leonard: That someone was Sheldon and the day was yesterday.

Quote from the episode The Einstein Approximation

Leonard: Black beans, not pinto beans?
Sheldon: Yes.
Leonard: Double guacamole?
Sheldon: Of course.
Leonard: Lettuce shredded, not chopped?
Sheldon: Yes.
Leonard: No cilantro?
Sheldon: Nope.
Leonard: You understand why I'm doing this to you?
Sheldon: I do.
Leonard: That will be all.

Quote from the episode The Griffin Equivalency

Sheldon: I often forget other people have limitations. It's so sad.
Howard: He can feel sadness?
Leonard: Not really. It's what you and I would call condescension.

Quote from the episode The Pancake Batter Anomaly

Sheldon: Wait, put this in the bathroom.
Leonard: What for?
Sheldon: I need to measure my fluid intake and output to make sure my kidneys aren't shutting down.
Leonard: I mix pancake batter in this!
Sheldon: No, that measuring cup has always been for urine.
Leonard: You had time to make a label for everything in this apartment, including the label maker, but you didn't have ten seconds to make a label that said "urine cup"?
Sheldon: It's right here on the bottom.
Leonard: Huh, I guess I owe the Betty Crocker Company a letter of apology.

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