Leonard Hofstadter Quotes Page 3 of 71
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Quote from the episode The Vacation Solution
Penny: So you're saying if I became a famous movie star, we got married, you wouldn't sign a pre-nup?
Leonard: Absolutely not! If I'm gonna be stuck at home with the kids while you're on location cheating on me with Ryan Gosling, then Leonard gots to get paid.
Quote from the episode The Robotic Manipulation
Raj: When Winnie-the-Pooh got his head stuck in the honey tree, his friends all grabbed onto him and pulled and pulled.
Leonard: You do what you want, I'm not touching another man's honey tree.
Quote from the episode The Vartabedian Conundrum
Stephanie: I don't see anything at all, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Well, you're the doctor, but I am constantly hearing this annoying sound.
Leonard: Me too.
Sheldon: Is it a high frequency whistle?
Leonard: No, it's more of a relentless, narcissistic drone.
Quote from the episode The Tangerine Factor
Howard: So you're saying, if in the depths of despair she throws herself at you and demands you take her right there, right now, you'll just walk away?
Leonard: I said I'm her friend, not her gay friend.
Quote from the episode The Toast Derivation
Sheldon:He'll be back.
Leonard: (Through the door) Of course, I'll be back, I live here!
Quote from the episode The Middle-Earth Paradigm
Leonard: Homo habilis discovering his opposable thumbs says what?
Quote from the episode The Gorilla Experiment
Bernadette: Come here, tushie face.
Leonard: Tushie face! That is going on twitter right now.
Quote from the episode The Precious Fragmentation
Leonard: What was that?
Penny: Sheldon tried to steal the ring so I punched him.
Leonard: That's my girl!
Quote from the episode The Comic Book Store Regeneration
Leonard: The place really looks great.
Raj: Yeah, you should have burnt it down years ago.
Stuart: I keep telling you, I didn't burn it down.
Leonard: We know. We know. Because burning something down for the insurance money is a crime. *wink*
Quote from the episode The Friendship Contraction
Leonard: You call that a glow stick? *Pulls out a Lightsaber* That is a glow stick!
Quote from the episode The Irish Pub Formulation
Leonard: I'm sorry.
Raj's sister: Why do you say that?
Leonard: When I'm in bed with a girl, that's just my natural response.
Quote from the episode The Infestation Hypothesis
Leonard: Sheldon, you do this all the time! You fixate on some crazy idea then blow it way out of proportion.
Sheldon: Name one time I've ever done that.
Leonard: How about the time you put GPS trackers in your garbage because you thought North Korean spies were stealing your doodles? The chicken nuggets you thought were human nuggets. The mysterious cloud that was following you around town. Or the time you put my shirt on by accident and thought you were growing again.
Sheldon: I said name one. You need to work on your listening skills.
Quote from the episode The Nerdvana Annihilation
Leonard: Can I go back and prevent you from explaining that to me?
Sheldon: Same paradox. If you were to travel back in time and, say, knock me unconscious, you would not then have the conversation that irritated you, motivating you to go back and knock me unconscious.
Leonard: What if I knock you unconscious now?
Sheldon: It won't change the past.
Leonard: But it'd make the present so much nicer.
Quote from the episode The Cushion Saturation
Penny: What are we gonna do?
Leonard: We? No, no, no. You had your chance to be "we" for like a year and a half now. Right now, you are you and you are screwed!
Quote from the episode The Gorilla Dissolution
Leonard: Oh, I know. This might help. *Gets a ring out of his wallet*
Penny: Where did you get a ring?
Leonard: I've had it for a couple of years. Not important.