Leonard: You really didn't think I'd notice my stuff was missing?
Penny: Uh, did you notice your key chain?
*Leonard goes to the door and checks his keys*
Leonard: Where's Batman?!

Leonard: Just hiding some stuff in your closet, don't tell Penny.

(Amy, Leonard and Penny reach the fourth floor and discover Sheldon has laid out rose petals leading to the door of Apartment 4B)
Amy: Aww, man!
Penny: Ooh! Sheldon gonna get some.
Leonard: Well, have fun with whatever nightmare's behind door number two.

Howard: Do you think this is in poor taste?
Leonard: Does it spin around and do tricks?
Howard: Yeah!
Leonard: Then yeah.

Amy: Ever since I met Penny, I've been envious of her looks.
Penny: Aw, thank you.
Amy: That's why I was so happy when you cut your hair off.
Penny: What?!
Amy: You know what I mean. You were still hot, but more like a "why'd that hot girl cut off all her hair?" hot.
Penny: You liked my short hair, right?
Leonard: (unconvincingly) Yeah I loved it. Love you, love the hair, would love to change the subject.

Sheldon: Sorry I'm moving slowly.
Leonard: Oh, I don't mind. If you pull a butterscotch out of your pocket, it would be like I'm walking with my grandma.

Sheldon: A plaque? Nobody wants to see this.
Leonard: Well, change "plaque" to "mixed-race couple" and you are my grandma.

Sheldon: Well, Leonard, you know, who should keep this? On the one hand, I love Mr. Spock more than you do. On the other hand, I care more about clocks than you do.
Leonard: So you think you should keep it?
Sheldon: I'll be right across the hall. You'll probably be able to hear it.
Leonard: Keep the clock, Sheldon.
Penny: Thank you.
Amy: Thank you?

Leonard: I believe that is flag to crotch four, checkmate. Easy-peasy, ooh, so breezy.

Penny: I think I'm gonna go for a run. You want to come?
Leonard: No, last time that old lady in the park kept screaming, "Watch out, he's right behind you."

Leonard: Damn, I need my inhaler.
Penny: Just don't smoke.
Leonard: No, I went down the stairs too fast.

Leonard: I found it, but it's empty.
Penny: Well, it doesn't matter. We're not going to the hospital now.
Leonard: Are you sure? I'd really like to.

Penny: Hey, can you help me put some of the food out?
Leonard: Yeah. Let me finish packing this stuff up. You know how Sheldon is if he sees Christmas stuff lying around after New Year's.
Penny: Yeah, but he doesn't live here anymore.
Leonard: Well, he doesn't live at Walmart, but he still threw a tantrum when he saw Marshmallow Peeps after Easter. And that's the same man who complains you can't find Marshmallow Peeps after Easter.

Penny: So, what happened in Texas that was so bad?
Leonard: And before our next drive to Comic-Con, I need the name of that juice.

Penny: Hey, hey, I just found a farm where they let you chop down your own tree.
Leonard: Oh cool, I'll be like a pointy-eared Paul Bunyan.