Leonard Hofstadter Quotes Page 62 of 68

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Quote from the episode The Excelsior Acquisition

Leonard: Okay, that's enough, Howard. The poor guy's had a tough time. He had to spend the entire afternoon in jail wearing that suit.
Howard: You're right, so it would be cruel to mention that after he finished signing autographs, Stan Lee took Stuart and us out for gelato.
Sheldon: You had gelato with Stan Lee?
Howard: He said we could call him Stan.
Leonard: Except for Raj.

Quote from the episode The Cohabitation Experimentation

Amy: I don't know if I can make it through five weeks living with him.
Leonard: If you ever need a break, the owner of the train store will let you leave him there while you get a coffee.

Quote from the episode The Irish Pub Formulation

Raj: Hey, so what did you guys think of the new episode of Caprica last night?
Leonard: I didn't see it.
Howard: Didn't see it? What were you doing?
Leonard: Uh, I was out.
Raj: On Caprica night?
Leonard: Yeah, I, uh, went for a drink.
Howard: Really, you, and where, where did you go?
Leonard: To, uh, Lucky Baldwin's.
Sheldon: Oh, I've heard of that place. Isn't that Pasadena's favorite Irish watering hole?
Leonard: Yes.
Sheldon: Did you meet anyone interesting there, perhaps a promiscuous redheaded barmaid?
Leonard: As a matter of fact I-I-I can't. I can't. I can't do it.

Quote from the episode The Love Car Displacement

Sheldon: Please tell me you're not having coitus.
Penny: We are not having coitus.
Sheldon: Can you guarantee that it won't happen at any time during the night?
Penny: Yes.
Leonard: No.

Quote from the episode The Big Bran Hypothesis

Sheldon: You do understand that our efforts here will in no way increase the odds of you having sexual congress with this woman?
Leonard: Men do things for women without expecting sex.
Sheldon: Yeah, those are men who just had sex.
Leonard: I'm doing this to be a good neighbor. In any case, there's no way it could lower the odds.

Quote from the episode The Love Car Displacement

Penny: I really appreciate you letting me stay here tonight.
Leonard: Sure, no problem.
Penny: I know it's kinda weird.
Leonard: True dat.
Penny: True dat?
Leonard: I've gotten a lot more street since we broke up.

Quote from the episode The Contractual Obligation Implementation

Leonard: I never wanted to play the cello. How do you meet girls playing the cello? Hey, you want to come over to my house and listen to me play an instrument that sounds like a suicidal bumblebee?

Quote from the episode The Love Car Displacement

Penny: Still mad at me about that?
Leonard: No. No, I understand. I got too intense, you had to back off.
Penny: Thank you.
Leonard: I've gotten a lot better at that, you know. I've dated four different women since we broke up and I didn't tell any of them that I loved them and wanted to have their babies.
Penny: Good for you.

Quote from the episode The Cohabitation Experimentation

Sheldon: Wow. I anticipated we'd have problems, but I never thought your scientific rigor would be one of them.
Amy: I'm sorry, are you questioning my integrity as a scientist?
Sheldon: If the lab room disposable shoe cover fits.
Penny: Was that a science diss?
Leonard: Yeah.
Penny: Was it a good one?
Leonard: Meh.

Quote from the episode The Closure Alternative

Leonard: With all the TV Sheldon was talking about, I had the greatest idea ever. It even blows away my idea for a Star Wars themed coffee shop called Brewbacca's. You need to watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer. It is the perfect show for the two of us. It's got action and jokes and hot vampires and romance. I cannot oversell this. What do you say?
Penny: It's six thirty in the morning.
Leonard: I thought you grew up on a farm.

Quote from the episode The Skank Reflex Analysis

Raj: You're just jealous because it turns out I'm Penny's number two choice after Leonard.
Howard: Hey, if I wasn't engaged to Bernadette, that totally could have been me.
Leonard: Please. Sheldon would have been before you, and he might not even have genitals.

Quote from the episode The Big Bran Hypothesis

Sheldon: I have to say, I slept splendidly. Granted, not long, but just deeply and well.
Leonard: I'm not surprised. A well known folk cure for insomnia is to break into your neighbor's apartment and clean.
Sheldon: Sarcasm?
Leonard: You think?

Quote from the episode The Neonatal Nomenclature

Penny: When did you pick out our kids' names?
Leonard: Remember that day you moved into the building?
Penny: (chuckles) Yes.
Leonard: A non-creepy amount of time after that.

Quote from the episode The Large Hadron Collision

Leonard: Look, Sheldon, I know its in the agreement, and if you turn into a zombie, I promise I will not kill you. In fact, Ill even let you eat my brains. But I am taking Penny to Switzerland.

Quote from the episode The Hot Tub Contamination

Penny: Okay, I'm confused. Which one is Mr. Robot?
Leonard: I'll give you a hint. We're watching Daredevil.

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