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Quote from the episode The Bon Voyage Reaction

Leonard: I'll be on a ship in the North Sea.
Penny: On a ship? Aren't they afraid Hawking will just roll overboard?
Leonard: Uh, he's not gonna be there. He's just sending a team to research his theory.
Penny: Oh, sure. Like when you send me to kill spiders in your bathtub.

Quote from the episode The Egg Salad Equivalency

Leonard: Come here. Tell you a secret?
Penny: What's that?
Leonard: With all these women chasing me, I kind of do feel like Captain Kirk.
Penny: Can I tell you a secret?
Leonard: Sure.
Penny: Keep talking about Captain Kirk, and we're all gonna stop.
Leonard: (impersonating William Shatner) Message received.

Quote from the episode The Bon Voyage Reaction

Penny: Oh, sweetie, if you're gonna screw things up, it's gonna be while you're here, not while you're away. No. I mean, look, you have to go. It sounds like an amazing opportunity. And I'm just basing that on how much I didn't understand what you said about it.

Quote from the episode The Habitation Configuration

Penny: Hey, sorry this took so long. But you used to work here, you know how it is.
Bernadette: Kitchen slammed again?
Penny: No, I'm a terrible waitress, remember?

Quote from the episode The Pancake Batter Anomaly

Leonard: How was Nebraska?
Penny: Oh, better than North Dakota! I guess that joke's only funny in Nebraska.
Sheldon: From the data at hand you really can't draw that conclusion. All you can say with absolute certainty is that that joke is not funny here.
Penny: Boy, it's good to be back.

Quote from the episode The Habitation Configuration

Sheldon: Penny, if you wouldn't mind, I'd like to have a conversation about girls.
Penny: I had a weird feeling we'd have a talk like this sooner or later. Are you finally fuzz in weird places?
Sheldon: Penny, please. I'm on the horns of a relationship dilemma. And for the record, I had a full pubis of hair by the time I was 19.
Penny: And for the record, bleugh.

Quote from the episode The Date Night Variable

Penny: Gosh, I worked my ass off today. This is exactly what I needed.
Leonard: Great. Just relax and enjoy. Tonight is all about you.
Penny: Aw, thank you.
Leonard: So, where exactly are we in this relationship?
Penny: Oh, come on.

Quote from the episode The Speckerman Recurrence

Sheldon: You know, the holidays are just around the corner. Maybe he wants to see if he can lodge the other testicle up there.
Leonard: I told you. That was a different guy.
Penny: Hmm. That's too bad. We could have spent New Year's Eve waiting for the ball to drop.

Quote from the episode The Retraction Reaction

Sheldon: I told him his voice was annoying. He didn't want to listen.
Penny: Hey!
Sheldon: You're saying it's not?
Penny: Just ... hey.

Quote from the episode The Hamburger Postulate

Howard: What do you recommend for someone who worked up a man-sized appetite from a morning of weight training and cardio funk?
Penny: A shower.

Quote from the episode The Application Deterioration

Amy: So, have you been having any morning sickness?
Bernadette: A little. And it doesn't help that I've got this heightened sense of smell.
Penny: Is that a pregnancy thing?
Bernadette: Yeah, the other day I sniffed out where Howie hid the Girl Scout cookies. No more Tagalongs, my ass.
Penny: But now you'll be able to make your own milk to eat the cookies with.

Quote from the episode The Application Deterioration

Penny: Come on, just open it.
Raj: You know, on Game of Thrones, Balon Greyjoy received his son's genitals in a box.
Penny: Well, never hurts to have a spare.

Quote from the episode The Conjugal Conjecture

Susan: No more drug talk for the rest of this trip.
Wyatt: I'll drink to that.
Susan: Haven't you had enough?
Wyatt: Penny drinks more than I do.
Penny: Well, I learned from the best.
Wyatt: Aw! (Penny and Wyatt clink their beer bottles together)

Quote from the episode The Speckerman Recurrence

Bernadette: I love this dress. How come I never see you wear it?
Penny: 'cause when I wear it, it's a shirt.

Quote from the episode The Fuzzy Boots Corollary

Penny: So, what's new in the world of physics?
Leonard: Nothing.
Penny: Really, nothing?
Leonard: Well, with the exception of string theory, not much has happened since the 1930s. And you can't prove string theory, at best you can say Hey, look, my idea has an internal logical consistency.
Penny: Ah. Well I'm sure things will pick up.

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