Penny: Look, Amy, I don't know what to say. I think I got stuck on the fact that it's not a dress I would choose, but it shouldn't be. You know, it's your dress. I mean, hey, would you marry Leonard?
Amy: Ew.
Penny: Okay, a simple "no" would have been fine, but you see my point.

Danny: Look, why don't I just give you a number and see what you think?
Penny: Ooh, are-are you gonna write it on a napkin and slide it over to me?
Danny: No, I was just gonna say it.
Penny: Aw.
Danny: Do you want me to write it on a napkin and slide it over to you?
Penny: Yah.

Penny: I've just never known anyone that died. I had a pet pig when I was a kid. When he died we didn't have a funeral, we had a barbecue.

Leonard: So, what did you think of your first funeral?
Penny: I don't want to be a jerk but it was kind of a bummer.

Penny: Well, I'm a people person. People like me. Some of my favorite people are people. I feel like I'm saying people a lot. People people people. Okay, I'm done.
Dan: Sure?
Penny: People. Yes.

Penny: Yeah, maybe you're right. I used to think my high school P.E. teacher didn't like me, but it turned out she liked me a little too much.
Bernadette: Really?
Penny: Yeah. It was fine. We went to a Melissa Etheridge concert, I got an A, it all worked out.

Penny: It has also been shown to cause significantly fewer side effects than other oral contraceptives. Although it can cause acne, which if you ask me kind of increases its effectiveness as a contraceptive.

Leonard: Hear me out. I know things got a little weird last night.
Penny: Well, leaving an envelope of cash on my night-stand after sex would count as weird.

Leonard: She made him a chore chart.
Penny: I see it!

Sheldon: It's actually based on a very sound thesis. His mother published a paper on it.
Penny: What was it called? "I hate my son and that's why he can't have cake"?

Penny: Do you think Sheldon's gonna want some weird Star Trek wedding?
Bernadette: I don't know.
Penny: Well, Leonard could barely finish the words "Doctor Who wedding cake" before I shut that down hard.

Amy: So, you guys lived with Sheldon for a long time-
Leonard: Long time.
Penny: So very long.
Leonard: By the way, congratulations again on your engagement.
Penny: Yeah, you got a good one.

Raj: Well, so you're on his side?
Penny: I'm just saying, that's what friends do. You know, they bust on each other. It doesn't mean anything.
Leonard: Well, I'm not surprised you think so.
Penny: Why is that?
Leonard: Well, you can be kind of mean to me.
Penny: Well, that's because you're- Wow. I don't know how to finish that sentence, either.

Penny: Bernadette's nickname for you is the Virgin Pina Colada.

Amy: Here's another one. Penny, if it weren't for Sheldon, you never would have met comic book legend Stan Lee.
Penny: Great.