Sheldon: So, often on the front of the locomotive is a large iron wedge for clearing objects off the tracks. Now, while commonly known as a cowcatcher, I prefer the more accurate "cow exploder."

Sheldon: Danger! Danger!

Sheldon: I'll walk you through it. This game is not called Words with Strangers. No, it's not even called Words with Acquaintances. It's called Words with-
Raj: I'm not finishing your sentence. You pulled the plug on my funk.
Sheldon: Friends! It's Words with Friends. Which Stephen Hawking and I officially are. Now all I need is a bunk bed with a slide, and I'll have everything I've ever wanted since I was six years old.

Amy: Item 28 - Your Pet Name for me. Time is running out on this. You need to make a decision.
Sheldon: I submitted you a notarized list.
Amy: I'm sorry but "Gollum" and "Flakey" are not acceptable.
Sheldon: Well, you don't like Princess Corncob, you don't like Fester, you're just impossible to please.

Sheldon: Wait, is this really worth it? We've lived together for years without ne'ery an argument, but we start talking about a table and suddenly we're at each other's throats.
Leonard: Ne'ery an argument?! Ne'ery!?!
Sheldon: That means not one or not any. Maybe instead of a table you should buy a dictionary.
Sheldon: (To himself) Well, I don't know whether I won that but at least he's upset.

Sheldon: Now, we can play this one of two ways. You can say, "Trains! Tell me more," or, you can just look at me like that and I'll start.

Sheldon: I have spent years turning this lump of clay in to an acceptable conduit for my will. Then you came along and reshaped him with your new fangled ideas and fancy genitals.

Raj: He'll have a Shirley Temple.
Sheldon: And don't be chintzy with the Shirley.

Sheldon: Why don't you tell them I take tolls at the Golden Gate Bridge? A Rocket Scientist, how humiliating!

Sheldon: And, for all the times you find me irritating, today you got to watch someone shoot me with a taser.
Leonard: That part was pretty good.
Sheldon: See.
Leonard: You did flop around a lot.
Sheldon: I'll take your word for it. I was too busy trying not to defecate.

Sheldon: You're wrong again. If arrogance were my super power, my name would be Dr. Arroganto.

Sheldon: I bought you and Bernadette a gravy boat worth eighty-eight dollars. Which places me in your debt and I can't be in your debt because someday you might ask me to help you move. Or to kill a man.
Leonard: I doubt he'll ask you to kill a man.
Sheldon: Well, what if it's his only way out? I can't risk it.

Sheldon: Give us the precious!

Sheldon: I can see the ranch, Leonard! Oh, it's rustic, it's lovely. I'd take a picture, but people are chasing me. I'm going to make it! I'm going to make it! They have tasers, but they wouldn't dare use-- Aaaaaaah!

Sheldon: I have an eidetic memory. I don't what his (Raj's) problem is.