Sheldon Cooper Quotes Page 121 of 262
Quote from the episode The Bachelor Party Corrosion
Sheldon: Let's take this problem one step at a time. First, we need to decide whether we're calling it lee-ver or lev-er.
And the sooner we decide it's lee-ver, the sooner we can roll up our slee-ves - and not sle-ves - and get to work.
Leonard: We're going to be here for ee-ver.
Quote from the episode The Stag Convergence
Leonard: Are you drinking whiskey?
Sheldon: Indeed. If I'm to participate in the social convention that is the "stag night," then I must embrace all its components, including tobacco, swear words and, yes, alcohol.
Jeepers, that's yucky!
Quote from the episode The Deception Verification
Sheldon: I'm quite familiar with plumbing. Not to brag, but I spent most of fifth grade with my head in a toilet.
Quote from the episode The Hamburger Postulate
Leslie: I didn't know you eat here.
Sheldon: We don't, this is a disturbing aberration.
Quote from the episode The Cooper Extraction
Sheldon: Well, she's due to tomorrow. But it did take her six years to finish high school, so who knows.
Quote from the episode The Cooper Extraction
Sheldon: I never told you about my brother's kidney stones. Do you want hear about everything that comes out of my family's genitals?
Quote from the episode The Thanksgiving Decoupling
Sheldon: I just threw up on a whole lot of clowns.
Quote from the episode The 2003 Approximation
Sheldon: What a wonderful day, thank you.
Penny: Oh, we're glad you had fun.
Sheldon: Blue Icees and a trip to The Container Store? It's like I died and went to the post-mortem, neuron-induced hallucination commonly mistaken as heaven.
Quote from the episode The Perspiration Implementation
Sheldon: And you, give my regards to Barnum and Bailey.
Quote from the episode The Fortification Implementation
Sheldon: I can just picture them right now at Feynman's house. Probably discussing Schrodinger, and at the same time not discussing Schrodinger.
See, they're missing out on hilarious jokes like that.
Quote from the episode The Perspiration Implementation
Sheldon: I'm looking forward to him teaching us glove-slapping.
Leonard: What?
Sheldon: You know, when my honor is insulted, and I need to challenge someone to a duel by slapping them across the face with my glove.
Leonard: When was your honor insulted?
Sheldon: My last physical.
Leonard: Again, that doctor didn't insult your honor. Just checked your prostate.
Quote from the episode The Junior Professor Solution
Sheldon: Can't talk. Spit ball. Probably gonna die.
Quote from the episode The Relaxation Integration
Sheldon: I call this meeting of the Council of Sheldons to order. Let's take roll. Science Sheldon?
Science Sheldon: Present.
Sheldon: Texas Sheldon?
Texas Sheldon: Howdy.
Sheldon: Fanboy Sheldon?
Fanboy Sheldon: Greetings.
Sheldon: Germaphobe Sheldon?
Germaphobe Sheldon: Say it, don't spray it.
Humorous Sheldon: Where's Jock Sheldon?
Sheldon: Not the time, Humorous Sheldon!
Quote from the episode The Deception Verification
Sheldon: I let you buy feminine hygiene products with my supermarket clubcard. Do you have any idea the kind of coupons I'm going to get in the mail now?
Quote from the episode The 2003 Approximation
Leonard: Buddy, I know me moving in with Penny feels like a big change, but it's not.
Sheldon: How can you say that? Amy's gone, and you two are married now, so it's only a matter of time before you're gone, too.
Penny: Okay, you don't know what's gonna happen.
Sheldon: No, I do. Eventually you'll want more space and you'll move into a house. And then instead of dinner a couple of times a week, it'll only be a couple of times a month. And then it'll only be on special occasions, like when Bernadette divorces Wolowitz.
Or-or-or like when Koothrappali's weird girlfriend admits where she buried his body.
Or Amy's wedding, where she's marrying someone better than me.
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