Sheldon: Look, a new topical antihistamine with lidocaine. Wow! I can't wait 'til I get a rash.

Ira Flatow: Some people in the science community are calling it the wonder blunder.
Sheldon: Who? Give my their names! I bet it's Wolowitz.

Sheldon: To really understand the story here, we need to start at the very beginning. A small town in East Texas where a young genuis named -
Leonard: - Sheldon!
Sheldon: Yes, that's right, Sheldon Cooper. He was bitten by his neighbor's dog, leading to his first scientific break through: the Doggy Death Ray. Which sadly he couldn't build because Santa wouldn't bring him enriched uranium.

Sheldon: The second I go out of town, you throw a Christmas party without me?
Amy: Yeah, kinda.
Sheldon: That's so thoughtful. You guys are the best.

Sheldon: Wait, I need you to call Stan Lee, Leonard Nimoy and Bill Nye the Science Guy. Because legally I'm not allowed to. And also Carrie Fisher, because I hear she's a little nuts.

Sheldon: My point is you're going to need to be careful. You used to be protected by your pre-enlightenment mythology. But now you're going to need a stronger friend, named latex.
Mary: Are you having the sex talk with me?
Sheldon: Well someone has to.
Mary: Oh, dear Lord.
Sheldon: No, don't look to him. He's mad at you right now.

Raj: This maybe the biggest scientific breakthrough of our life time. How can you as a theoretical physicist not care about this?
Sheldon: Maybe it's because I'm not an elitist. What I'd like to know is how does this gravity wave breakthrough help the man on the street? Who's looking out for Joe six-pack and all his quantum physics concerns?

Sheldon: And reverse the spin on the anti-proton, and gamma becomes alpha multiplied by a matrix of I comma zero. And there we have it, conclusive proof that I am absolutely useless after nine o'clock.

Sheldon: Oh, I'll make English Breakfast tea. They destroyed your culture, that's close enough.

Sheldon: I assume you want to reopen our dialogue about the university forcing me to continue with string theory?
Mrs. Davis: You mean the dialogue that went "Please? No. Please? No. Please? No."?
Sheldon: That's the one. I believe you went last, so, please?

Leonard: I've seen you guys ignore each other for hours, doing totally different things.
Sheldon: It's called parallel play.
Leonard: Yeah, toddlers do that.
Sheldon: Not as well as we do.

Leonard: Was that a flask?
Sheldon: Yes. I've decided to embrace all the traditions associated with prom, including spiking the punch.
Leonard: You're gonna put alcohol in the punch?
Sheldon: Oh, no, this is pomegranate juice. It's all the fun of high-school hijinks, with the self-protecting zip of anti-oxidants.

Sheldon: Here at Fun with Flags we've had an opportunity to learn, laugh, wonder.
Amy: And, yes, even shed a tear or two.
Sheldon: Like when you do a two-hour Fourth of July spectacular and it doesn't even get recorded.
Amy: How many times do I have to say I'm sorry?
Sheldon: How about four thousand? One for every domino I set up for that American Flag.

Sheldon: And if I may get serious for a moment. Hosting this show has been one crazy ride. With all its up and downs, I wouldn't give it up for the world. Except for now, when I'm giving it up.

Penny: Oh, I'm just doing this awful work out. I hate it.
Sheldon: Well if you hate it, then why are you doing it? Although I could ask the same question about the coitus with Leonard.