Leonard: Maybe you should consider women who aren't in serious relationships with your closest friends?
Sheldon: There's that prostate doctor, but I'm still mad at her.

Missy: Hey, Shelly.
Sheldon: I'm so glad you made it, Missy. This is my fiancée, Amy. Amy, this is my sister. If I ever need a kidney, this is where you get it.

Penny: That's so funny. I never would have pegged you for a Pisces.
Sheldon: You're making it difficult to love you right now.

Sheldon: I always looked up to you and Pop-Pop. I know what a challenging man he could be, but I saw you stand by him and make him into a better person.
Meemaw: I did.
Sheldon: Yeah, well, that is exactly what I've been doing the last five years with this little work in progress.
Leonard: He never disappoints, does he?

Meemaw: Sheldon, tell this girl that my ring will never be on her finger.
Sheldon: Yeah, I'm gonna opt out of that one, too.

Amy: Okay, you ready?
Sheldon: Yeah, almost. I'm working on my facial expressions. See, uh, I've got interested. Hmm.
I've got very interested. Hmm.
Oh, and, uh, enraged.
Amy: Why would you be enraged?
Sheldon: Better to have it and not need it than to need it and not have it.

Amy: What's with the blinking?
Sheldon: It's Morse code. So we can talk about without hurting --'s feelings.
Amy: Sheldon, I don't know Morse code.
Howard: I do. And if you have something to say, you can say it to my face.

Sheldon: So that's all this day was? A plan to butter me up before delivering bad news?
Leonard: Come on, buddy.
Sheldon: No, I thought we were friends. You asked for a sip of my Icee. If you had your own straw, I might've said yes.

Sheldon: Well, I found the perfect wedding date.
Amy: That's terrific!
Sheldon: No, it's not. It was May 19, 1996. We would have had a lovely wedding. And our honeymoon would have coincided with the first appearance of the Hale-Bopp comet.
Amy: Sheldon, you were 16.
Sheldon: And in Texas. No one would have batted an eye. Oh, wait, it's no good. That's the day that Jon Pertwee, the third Doctor Who, died.
Amy: And it's in the past.
Sheldon: Hey-hey, I said it's no good. Just let it go.

Sheldon: I don't know about you but I'm very uncomfortable about this.
Amy: Why?
Sheldon: I've never seen this show before, and now I'm starting with episode 246. It's unnatural.
Amy: Just think of the first 245 as the prequel.
Sheldon: All right.

Penny: I thought you were looking at a cliff on the beach.
Amy: We were, but Sheldon didn't like any of them. Some were too beachy, some were too cliffy.
Sheldon: And all of them were too outsidey.

Sheldon: Stephen Hawking is a genius. If he said 'no,' I wasn't going to waste time on her father.

Sheldon: I suppose I could see myself in a scientific boyband. Of course I'd be the dreamy one and the smart one.

Amy: Why do you keep tying and untying that bow tie?
Sheldon: I can't seem to get it even.
Amy: Well, I don't think it's supposed to be even. Sometimes a little asymmetry looks good. In the Renaissance, they called it "sprezzatura."
Sheldon: The Renaissance? Amy, you know I'm more of an Enlightenment person. At some point, we have to decide how we want to raise the children.

Amy: I thought we agreed on June 15.
Sheldon: That's the day after Flag Day. Everyone'll be partied out.