Professor Laughlin: Dr. Koothrappali, come on in. I was surprised to hear you were interested In joining our little team. Giving up on those trans-Neptunian objects, are we?
Raj: No, no, it's a very promising area. In a perfect world I'd spend several more years on it. But I just couldn't pass up the opportunity to work with you on your tremendously exciting and not yet conclusively disproved hypothesis.

Professor Laughlin: Splendid. Uh, please sit down. Can I offer you a sherry?
Raj: It's a little early, isn't it?
Professor Laughlin: Not on Proxima Centauri.
Raj: That's very good. Jolly amusing, but if you don't mind, I'll hold off until sunset on titan.
Professor Laughlin: Oh, well done. I have a feeling you're going to fit in just fine, Dr. Koothrappali.

Professor Laughlin: Dr. Koothrappali, may I present Dr. Millstone from MIT. She'll be heading up our data analysis team.
Dr. Millstone: It's nice to meet you, Dr. Koothrappali. I read your paper on Kuiper belt object size distribution. I really enjoyed it. How did you correct for the selection bias?
Raj: (After drinking a large sherry) Well, I ran a simulation that allowed me to correct for the observational efficiency.
Dr. Millstone: That's just fascinating.
Raj: Thank you. Would you like to hear more about it in my hot tub? ... So, when do I start?

Howard: I'm really going to miss you.
Raj: Will you come visit me in India?
Howard: Gee, that's, like, a 17-hour flight. How about I meet you halfway?
Raj: Halfway is 600 miles off the coast of Japan.
Howard: Tell you what, we'll Skype.

Sheldon: Anyway, I was thinking about exploring the string theory implications of gamma rays from dark matter annihilations, and it occurred to me that I could benefit-
Leonard: Excuse me, Sheldon, how many reels before the subordinate male protagonist gets to his point?
Sheldon: I'm sorry. If you didn't cheer at my entrance, it's too late to buy into the premise. Anyway, I got some extra money from the head of the department, and Raj can come work for me.

Raj: I've reconsidered your offer to let me work with you.
Sheldon: For me.
Raj: Yes, for you. I do, however, have a few conditions. First, at all times, I am to be treated as a colleague and an equal. Second, my contributions shall be noted in all published material. And third, you are never allowed to lecture me on Hinduism or my Indian culture.
Sheldon: I'm impressed, Raj. Those are very cogent and reasonable conditions.
Raj: Thank you.
Sheldon: I reject them all.
Raj: Then you leave me no choice. I accept the job.

Sheldon: I'm sorry, I believe you've misunderstood. I'm not giving you the job. I'm simply affording you the opportunity to apply for it. Have a seat, we'll get started with the interview.
Raj: Wha... you're kidding!
Sheldon: Please.
Raj: All right.
Sheldon: So, that's what you wear to an interview?
Raj: Come on, dude, we've been friends for years.
Sheldon: Oh, pulling strings, are we?
Raj: Sheldon, for God's sakes, don't make me beg.
Sheldon: Bazinga! You've fallen victim to another one of my classic practical jokes. I'm your boss now. You may want to laugh at that.

Penny: Ah, it's nice having the place to ourselves, isn't it?
Leonard: Uh-huh. Now that Raj is working for Sheldon, I don't have to chauffeur him around anymore. Plus, yeah, with them working late so much, we get some privacy.
Penny: Mm-hmm. Hey, want to get a little crazy?
Leonard: What are you thinking?
Penny: Let's slide over to Sheldon's spot and make out.
Leonard: You are a dirty girl.

Howard: Okay, I guess I can hang for a little while. So what are we watching? Sex and the City. Yikes.
Penny: Hey, I happen to love this movie.
Howard: Fine, let's watch it. Maybe all our periods will synchronize.

Leonard: What are you doing here?
Howard: Well, usually, on Sundays, I go with Raj to scam on hippie chicks at the farmers market, but he's still working with Sheldon, so I thought I'd come over here and make you guys scrambled eggs and salami. It's the perfect meal for apres l'amour.
Penny: Oh, kill me.
Howard: By the way, I couldn't help overhearing your big finish. Bravo, Leonard.
Penny: See, if you had killed me when I said kill me, I wouldn't have had to hear that.

Sheldon: Wait, you have to drive me home.
Raj: How did you get here?
Sheldon: I walked.
Raj: So walk home.
Sheldon: I can't. There's a big dog outside.

Leonard: Then I'll just cut your vines with my Ruby Sword. (Playing card, making gesture to Howard) That's right, I did it, I cut them.

Penny: Kite fighting?
Leonard: Oh, yeah. It's an extremely competitive, cutthroat sport.
Sheldon: Well, actually, the risk of throat cutting is very low. On the other hand, severe string burn is a real and ever-present danger.

Leonard: Maybe Koothrappali's right. Maybe I embarrass her.
Sheldon: You're embarrassing me right now. A grown man worrying about such nonsense when in the middle of flying kites.

Howard: I would have caught up to her if I hadn't pulled a hammy.
Raj: Oh, please, you weigh 80 pounds. You don't have a hammy.