Amy: I got some old underwear I'm gonna throw on stage at the Garth Brooks concert.
Penny: I'm sorry, why old?
Amy: 'Cause last time I saw him, I threw new ones and it got me nothing.

Amy: Then what the hell, Sheldon? We have been going out for over two years, and I have been nothing but patient with you. I watch your dopey space movies. I signed your ridiculous contract. I even stopped wearing lip gloss 'cause you said it made my mouth look too slippery. I am the best girlfriend youre ever gonna have. You give me one good reason why I can't live here.

Amy: All right, pivoting to the big question. Bernadette, on your wedding night you'll be consummating your marriage. What do you think your first sexual position will be as husband and wife?
Bernadette: Amy, please.
Amy: Keeping in mind that whoever's on top may set the tone for the marriage.
Penny: Okay, show's over.
Amy: Hey, they may conceive a child on their wedding night. Don't you think the kid might get a kick out of knowing how it happened?
Penny: I don't care. Ask her things like are you going to take Howard's name? Not who's going to sit on who.

Penny: Please? I went to your boring thing last month.
Amy: My aunt's funeral?
Penny: Come on, even you checked your e-mail during the eulogy.

Amy: I made your favorite oatmeal - plain.

Penny: Oh God, I feel so bad, I just lied to her.
Amy: Oh, but you did it so well. That's amazing! It's like watching a sculptor, but your clay was lies.

Penny: So, what's the deal with your apartment? Why's it taking so long?
Amy: Um, it was a drywall problem.
Penny: Oh, no, what happened?
Amy: Well, the drywall got wet, and you do not want wet drywall because when drywall gets wet, it's really more-
Penny: Wet wall?
Amy: Or damp wall, just as bad.
Penny: Mm. So why don't they just get more drywall?
Amy: Well, they went to get some, but the woman at the wall store said it was going on sale and they should wait because the savings-
Penny: Okay, are you done? Bernadette told me your apartment's ready.
Amy: I was done at "wet wall" but you wouldn't let it go.

Amy: What's going on?
Sheldon: I'm struggling with the thought of leaving my old bedroom.
Amy: Can it be more of an internal struggle?
Sheldon: I have to see it. While I'm gone, don't breathe on my pillow.
Amy: How about if I just don't breathe at all?
Sheldon: That's my girl.

Amy: Look, we can't just throw away Penny's stuff, but we can ask if she wants any of it back.
Sheldon: You know, I wonder how she feels about all this artwork.
Amy: Well, I'm sure she misses this one. I mean, it's the greatest gift I've ever given anybody.
Sheldon: It truly does capture the beauty of your friendship with Penny.
Amy: It may have appreciated in value. The artist killed himself shortly after painting that.

Leonard: It's not just Howard and Bernadette. I mean, look how far we've all come.
Penny: Hmm.
Stuart: You two got married.
Amy: Sheldon and I are living together.
Sheldon: But if my mom asks, we have bunk beds.
Leonard: Penny was a struggling actress when we met, and now she's a successful pharmaceutical rep.
Penny: Okay, you don't have to say "struggling" every time. You can just say actress.
Stuart: Howard went to space.
Amy: Bernadette got her doctorate.
Leonard: Sheldon, Howard and I are working with the government on our quantum gyroscope.
Amy: We've all come a long way. There's a lot to be proud of.

Leonard: What do you say?
Sheldon: I get to write a contract? I say, let's get this party of the first part started!
(Amy enthusiastically laughs)
Penny: Do you really think that's funny?
Amy: It's in our agreement. I have to laugh.

Amy: Well, everybody has things that they need help with. Like me. I can't see without my glasses. And right now you're just a cute, pink smudge wearing a childish green smudge.

Penny: It's not that I want to go, I just think it'll make Leonard happy. And if I have to watch him squeeze into an Ewok costume, so be it.
Amy: Look at you, going to Comic-Con, talking about Ewoks. I really have become the cool one around here.

Amy: There are a lot of memories wrapped up in that room. For me, too. The first time you told me you loved me was in that room.
Sheldon: Wrong. We were standing outside my room in the hallway.
Amy: And there is the love of which I speak.

Penny: So, Bert, you were telling us how you updated your profile?
Bert: Right. I wasn't getting any responses, and then I added, "Recent $625,000 MacArthur grant winner", and five minutes later, I met my soul mate.
*Amy goes to the hallway*
Amy: I was wrong. You can come back in.