Howard Wolowitz Quotes Page 2 of 77
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Quote from the episode The Colonization Application
Howard: How are the taxes going?
Bernadette: Okay, but you've got a lot of receipts for the Lego store in here.
Howard: Those are business expenses. You can write those off.
Bernadette: A $200 R2-D2 is a business expense?
Howard: Oh, Bernie, you're gonna have to sound a lot more confident when we get audited.
Quote from the episode The Financial Permeability
Leonard: OK, is everyone clear on the plan?
Howard: Yes, Koothrappali's going to wet himself, I'm gonna throw up, Sheldon's gonna run away and you're going to die. Shall we synchronize our watches?
Quote from the episode The Bat Jar Conjecture
Wolowitz: That's more like we're a tall thin woman who wants to make a coat out of your Dalmatians.
Quote from the episode The Rhinitis Revelation
(Howard has just told Mary about his upcoming trip to the International Space Station.)
Mary Cooper: I bet your mom is really proud of you.
Howard: Nope. She says if I don't back out, she's gonna go on a hunger strike. It'd take years before she'd be in any kind of danger, but still.
Quote from the episode The Panty Pinata Polarization
Wolowitz: If it's "creepy" to use the Internet, military satellites, and robot aircraft to find a house full of gorgeous young models so I can drop in on them unexpected, then fine, I'm "creepy".
Quote from the episode The Monopolar Expedition
Leonard: Howard, this is big science. You could be the engineer who builds the equipment that puts us on the cover of magazines.
Howard: I could also be the engineer who builds the crossbow that kills Sheldon.
Quote from the episode The Killer Robot Instability
Mrs. Wolowitz: Want me to get you a popsicle?
Howard: Cherry, please!
Mrs. Wolowitz: I ate the cherry. All that's left is green.
Howard: You make me wanna kill myself!
Quote from the episode The Large Hadron Collision
Leonard: What would you guys do if you were me?
Wolowitz: I would take Sheldon to Switzerland.
Wolowitz: Absolutely. And I'd leave him there.
Quote from the episode The Classified Materials Turbulence
Howard: Hey, you want to make sure he gets nowhere with Penny without jeopardizing your friendship with either of them?
Leonard: I'm listening.
Howard: Just tell him to do everything you've done with her for the last two years.
Quote from the episode The Zazzy Substitution
Howard: On the potty, what are you five?
Raj: It's a potty, what do you call it?
Howard: A toilet.
Raj: That's a little vulgar for the dinner table, don't you think?
Howard: And potty is okay?
Raj: Potty is innocent. Potty is adorable.
Howard: What do you do on the potty, wee-wee?
Raj: If I don't have to boom-boom.
Quote from the episode The Hofstadter Isotope
Wolowitz: I'm a horny engineer, Leonard. I never joke about math or sex.
Quote from the episode The Peanut Reaction
Howard: Try telling him it's a non-optional social convention.
Howard: Just do it!
Penny: It's a non-optional social convention.
Sheldon: Oh, fair enough.
Howard: He came with a manual.
Quote from the episode The Griffin Equivalency
(Sheldon smiles in a grotesque way).
Howard: Oh crap that's terrifying.
Quote from the episode The Electric Can Opener Fluctuation
Howard: Sheldon, you remember the first few weeks we were looking for magnetic monopoles and not finding anything, and you were acting like an obnoxious, giant dictator?
Raj: I thought we were going to be gentle with him.
Howard: That's why I added the '-tator'.