Howard Wolowitz Quotes Page 2 of 77
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Quote from the episode The Panty Pinata Polarization
Wolowitz: If it's "creepy" to use the Internet, military satellites, and robot aircraft to find a house full of gorgeous young models so I can drop in on them unexpected, then fine, I'm "creepy".
Quote from the episode The Killer Robot Instability
Mrs. Wolowitz: Want me to get you a popsicle?
Howard: Cherry, please!
Mrs. Wolowitz: I ate the cherry. All that's left is green.
Howard: You make me wanna kill myself!
Quote from the episode The Rhinitis Revelation
(Howard has just told Mary about his upcoming trip to the International Space Station.)
Mary Cooper: I bet your mom is really proud of you.
Howard: Nope. She says if I don't back out, she's gonna go on a hunger strike. It'd take years before she'd be in any kind of danger, but still.
Quote from the episode The Fuzzy Boots Corollary
Howard: Sheldon, if you were a robot and I knew and you didn't, would you want me to tell you?
Sheldon: That depends. When I learn that I'm a robot, will I be able to handle it?
Howard: Maybe, although the history of science fiction is not on your side.
Quote from the episode The Closet Reconfiguration
Bernadette: You can't just throw everything in the closet.
Howard: Hey, you can tell me what to do and how to do it, but not both at the same time. This isn't sex.
Quote from the episode The Prom Equivalency
Stuart: I'm not bringing your mother. I have a date.
Howard: Oh, so now you're cheating on my mother.
Quote from the episode The Monopolar Expedition
Leonard: Howard, this is big science. You could be the engineer who builds the equipment that puts us on the cover of magazines.
Howard: I could also be the engineer who builds the crossbow that kills Sheldon.
Quote from the episode The Large Hadron Collision
Leonard: What would you guys do if you were me?
Wolowitz: I would take Sheldon to Switzerland.
Wolowitz: Absolutely. And I'd leave him there.
Quote from the episode The Classified Materials Turbulence
Howard: Hey, you want to make sure he gets nowhere with Penny without jeopardizing your friendship with either of them?
Leonard: I'm listening.
Howard: Just tell him to do everything you've done with her for the last two years.
Quote from the episode The Zazzy Substitution
Howard: On the potty, what are you five?
Raj: It's a potty, what do you call it?
Howard: A toilet.
Raj: That's a little vulgar for the dinner table, don't you think?
Howard: And potty is okay?
Raj: Potty is innocent. Potty is adorable.
Howard: What do you do on the potty, wee-wee?
Raj: If I don't have to boom-boom.
Quote from the episode The Hofstadter Isotope
Wolowitz: I'm a horny engineer, Leonard. I never joke about math or sex.
Quote from the episode The Mommy Observation
Sheldon: Aren't you gonna come with me?
Howard: While you confront your mother about her sex life? I'd rather go back to that bar in assless chaps.
Quote from the episode The Peanut Reaction
Howard: Try telling him it's a non-optional social convention.
Howard: Just do it!
Penny: It's a non-optional social convention.
Sheldon: Oh, fair enough.
Howard: He came with a manual.
Quote from the episode The Griffin Equivalency
(Sheldon smiles in a grotesque way).
Howard: Oh crap that's terrifying.