Howard: When I was starting to do magic in junior high, I thought I could be an escape artist like Harry Houdini.
Raj: How did that work out?
Howard: Pretty good. I managed to escape friends, popularity, and every party thrown in a twelve mile radius.

Howard: Okay, so it's one vote Emily, one vote Cinnamon. Penny, you're the tie breaker.
Penny: Say the quote again.
Howard: "It's just so perfect that we're both Libras."
Penny: Wow, this is just so hard. I'm gonna say Cinnamon.
Howard: Yes!
Raj: Come on!

Howard: Okay, who was he talking to Emily or Cinnamon? "I want you to know the bed feels so lonely when you're not in it"?
Raj: Yeah, I might not be liking this game so much.
Leonard: Cinnamon. Give me another one.

Sheldon: I'd like to ask you all to do something for me. Keep me on my toes. Just throw me off my game. Essentially, go out of your way to make my life miserable.
Howard: Hold on. What's in it for us?
Sheldon: Well, I suppose-
Howard: Okay, we'll do it!

Howard: I invented a game. Want to play?
Leonard: Sure.
Howard: It's called Emily or Cinnamon. I give you actual quotes I've heard Raj say, and you guess if he was talking to his girlfriend or his dog.

Sheldon: I'm not asking for me. I'm asking for Hawking.

Wolowitz: Let me try it gangsta, hellz naw!

Howard: I'm surprised to see you suddenly get religious.
Raj: Why?
Howard: Because I've known you for ten years, and you've never gone to temple. You've never talked about believing in God. And last Diwali, I watched you eat two pounds of sacred cow at a Brazilian steak house.

Howard: As a scientist you believe the way to understand the universe is through facts and evidence. And now you're counting on some blue chick with a hundred arms to help you?
Raj: That is so offensive. Does everything you know about Hinduism come from Indiana Jones?
Howard: No, there's also Apu from The Simpsons.

Raj: Before you finish, is this a story about patience or waiting, or just another reminder that you went to space?
Howard: A story can do two things.

Leonard: Do you know what a disaster this is?
Howard: You mean because this room isn't supposed to have dust in it, and we just let in a flying crap machine.

Howard: I guess the sad truth is not everyone will accomplish something great. Some of us may just have to find meaning in the little moments that make up life.
Leonard: That's a nice way of looking at it.
Howard: Yeah, for you, not for me. I went to space, so I'm covered.

Bernadette: I love that you take pride in your looks. Even when I have to pee in the morning and you're in there spending an hour on your hair.
Howard: I love that you're too good to pee in the kitchen sink.

Howard: I really don't like how your wings poke me when we sleep because you're an angel.

Bernadette: Howard, get off of him.
Howard: Not until he stops humping his way up my family tree.

Bernadette: Why can't he take your mom? You took her to your prom.
Howard: I didn't take her. She was a chaperone.
Bernadette: I saw a picture of you two dancing together.
Howard: Well what was I gonna do? They were playing our song.