Howard Wolowitz Quotes Page 59 of 60

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Quote from the episode The Wheaton Recurrence

Raj: Ah, the premature "I love you".
Howard: I guessed premature. Does that count?

Quote from the episode The Fermentation Bifurcation

(at the urinals)
Leonard: Maybe we should take a step back.
Howard: Take a step back? I'm not a young man any more.

Quote from the episode The Engagement Reaction

Howard: What can I tell you? After I found the courage to put her pants back on, I was unstoppable.

Quote from the episode The Re-Entry Minimization

Howard: Hey, Ma, twinkle, twinkle, your little star is home. (Fails to open the door) Ma, the chain's on the door.
Mrs. Wolowitz: Howard? I thought I wasn't going to see you till tomorrow.
Howard: Yeah, well, Bernie's not feeling well. So I thought I'd stop by, tell you about the greatest adventure of my life, see if you can make me feel bad about it.
Mrs. Wolowitz: Uh, uh, okay. Hold on, I'm not decent.
Howard: All right. (Speaking to himself) Woman hasn't tied her robe in 20 years. Suddenly she's not decent?

Quote from the episode The Tesla Recoil

Raj: Can we start the movie? Before Sheldon gets here?
Howard: Last time we did that, he didn't talk to us for a month. So do it!

Quote from the episode The Cooper-Nowitzki Theorem

Howard: Howard Wolowitz, department of engineering, co-designer of the International Space Station's Liquid Waste Disposal System.
Ramona: Ew.

Quote from the episode The Long Distance Dissonance

Howard: We should call Guinness, that might be a record.

Quote from the episode The Cooper-Nowitzki Theorem

Howard: You know, the Pishkin-Wolowitz Liquid Waste Disposal System is turning a few heads as well.
Ramona: Again, ew.

Quote from the episode The Bus Pants Utilization

Penny: Look, can't you just let him play with you until bedtime?
Leonard: We're not playing. This is real work.
Howard: We're going to be hundred-aires.

Quote from the episode The Engagement Reaction

Howard: What you've got to keep in mind is that ever since my dad left, I've been the whole world to my mother. I mean, she'd be threatened by any woman who can give me what she can't.
Bernadette: You mean sexual intercourse?
Howard: Well, when you say it like that you make it sound creepy.

Quote from the episode The Re-Entry Minimization

Raj: Oh, my God, you're back. Oh, look at you. You, you look like you grew.
Howard: Yeah. The lack of gravity did decompress my spine, so I'm like an inch and a half taller. I'm going to the DMV tomorrow to get my license changed before I shrink back.

Quote from the episode The Empathy Optimization

Howard: Ooh, check out the stripper pole.
Bernadette: You know what that means.
Leonard: That Raj'll be on it before we make it to the freeway?
Howard: You know it!

Quote from the episode The Retraction Reaction

Howard: Okay, let's talk about something that won't infuriate my pregnant wife.
Raj: I read an interesting fact about elephants.
Howard: Try again.

Quote from the episode The Line Substitution Solution

Bernadette: Howie? You doing okay? You've been in there a while.
Howard: (In the bathroom) I'm fine. Be right out.
Am I an American hero? Well, that's a good question, Jim. Dont you think once an astronaut leaves the planet, he's a hero to all the nations of the Earth? (Toilet flush) Okey dokey. I think I have time for one more question.

Quote from the episode The Retraction Reaction

Raj: So, what do you want us to do?
Penny: I don't know. You're scientists; cheer them up.
Howard: "Cheer them up"? Do you even know what a scientist is?

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