Howard: This is her car. She hopes she can see you again sometime.
Raj: Good, good. Oh, boy, help me out here. Does she want me to kiss her or not?
Howard: I speak sign language, I don't read minds.
Raj: If you were me, would you kiss her?
Howard: Yeah, but I'm a make out king.

Sheldon: We can't sell it. We have to keep it and love it and polish it, and only take it out occasionally when we go to the park and re-enact our favourite scenes from the movies.
Howard: It's sad how great that sounds.

Leonard: Guys, it's stolen. It should go back to Peter Jackson. He made the movies, it belongs to him.
Howard: Fine. He can have it back as long as he promises to make me a hobbit in his next movie.
Raj: There are no Jewish hobbits.
Howard: Clearly, you've never been to my house for dinner on Rosh Hashanah.

Leonard: Will you hold on to this for a couple of days?
Penny: Why?
Leonard: It's a prop from a movie, and were kind of fighting over it.
Penny: Okay, just to be clear, the first piece of jewelery my boyfriend gives me is a prop from a movie, and I don't even get to keep it?
Howard: If you had gone out with me three years ago, by now, youd have my great Aunt Ida's brooch that she smuggled out of occupied Belgium in a cat.

Leonard: In fact, I gave it a lot of thought and I decided it was time for us to live together.
Howard: Uh, Leonard, huge mistake. There's a whole buffet of women out there and you're just standing in the corner eating the same deviled egg over and over again.
Leonard: At least I have an egg. What do you have?
Howard: A veritable smrgsbord of potential sexual partners. See the blond over there? I can hit on her and you can't.
Leonard: So, go hit on her.
Howard: She's not my type.

Leonard: Are you sure this is right?
Penny: Yeah, just tuck that part in your pants; you'll be fine.
Howard: Okay, let's go smooch some rich, wrinkled tuckus.

Howard: Yes, yes, I've been doing my push-ups. I'm still stuck at nine, but that's going all the way down with no one holding me.

Howard: Yes! Thank you! Oh! Oh! Im not gonna die in space! Im gonna die the way God intended, in my late 50s, with a heart full of pastrami.

Howard: I wasn't worried.
Raj: You weren't?
Howard: Let me explain the difference between you and me. You watch Star Trek. I live it.

Howard: Hey, I was thinking. For our first dance at the wedding, what if we learn the final number from Dirty Dancing?
Bernadette: You're kidding.
Howard: No, come on. How cool would that be? Me running into your arms, you lifting me up into the air.

Sheldon: Howard?
Howard: Wow. Uh, Stan Lee, or you in court? Uh, if this was Sophie's Choice it would've been a much shorter movie. No.

Sheldon: I also now have three points on a driver's license I do not yet possess, and I was forced to issue an undeserved apology, simply because I refuse to urinate in a stainless steel bowl in front of criminals.
Howard: Plus, you didn't get to meet Stan Lee.

Howard: All right, honey, if were gonna make the movie, we should go. (Raj stands up) This may be hard for you to hear, but when I say honey, I mean my fiance. (Raj whispers to Howard) Yeah, well, now it means her.
Bernadette: It's okay if he wants to come.
Howard: Fine. But next time, we get a sitter.

Howard: First of all, they're not tricks, they're illusions. And, secondly, when we get married, they're all going up in the attic so you can have that closet for clothes.
Bernadette: Why would I keep clothes at your mother's house?
Howard: Well, don't think of it that way. Once we move in, it'll be our house.
Bernadette: Is she moving out?
Howard: Why would she move out? It's her house.

Bernadette: Hang on. You seriously think I'm going to live with your mother?
Sheldon: Howard, I think I can help here. Yes, Bernadette, that's exactly what he thinks.
Howard: Why not? It's a great house, plenty of room, and if we have kids, Mom's there to help. You know, when she tells the Three Little Pigs story, she actually has hair on her chinny-chin-chin.
Bernadette: I'm not gonna live with your mother. Not now, not ever.
Howard: Wow, someone obviously has some mommy issues.