Mrs. Wolowitz Senior fitness was canceled. It turns out you can forget how to ride a bike. I'm fine, but, oy, did Sam Harpoolian eat gravel.
Howard: That's great, Ma!
Mrs. Wolowitz: What's great about an 80-year-old Armenian man with half his chin scraped off?

Mrs. Wolowitz Howard, what are you doing in there?
Howard: I'm taking a bath.
Mrs. Wolowitz I hope that's all you're doing. We share that tub!

Mrs. Wolowitz: Howard, answer the door! I'm busy!
Howard: I'm busy too. You answer it.
Mrs. Wolowitz: I can't! I'm on the toilet!
Howard: For God's sake, I don't need to hear that! Can't you just say, "I'm busy"?
Mrs. Wolowitz: I said I'm busy, but that wasn't good enough for you!
Howard: You know what? I hope it's one of those home invasion deals, and they shoot me in the head.
Mrs. Wolowitz: Well, if it's a home invader, don't tell them I'm on the toilet!

Howard: Ma, I'm putting you on speaker-phone with Raj's parents. Can you tell them that you're okay with me going to the Arctic?
Mrs. Wolowitz Arctic? I thought you said Arkansas.

Mrs. Koothrappali: I told you no. Why don't you believe me?
Mrs. Wolowitz Cause it doesn't make sense to me. How can it be that in the entire country of India, there isn't one Outback Steakhouse?

Howard: Enough with the guilt, ma. We'll still see each other. I'll come over every night and have dinner with you.
Mrs. Wolowitz The hell you will! What am I running here, a fancy restaurant? Does this look like the Olive Garden?

Howard: Okay, I get it. You're angry. You don't want to see your little bird leave the nest.
Mrs. Wolowitz Little bird? You're almost thirty. Fly, for God's sake!

Mrs. Wolowitz: Okay then, you kids have fun. Use protection!

Howard: Hey, ma, you got to rent me a tux!
Mrs. Wolowitz: Right now? What kind of sex are you having up there?

Mrs. Wolowitz Should I ask Leonard to bring over your homework?
Howard: I don't have homework. I'm a grown man with a master's degree in engineering.
Mrs. Wolowitz Excuse me, Mr. Fancy Pants. Want me to get you a popsicle?

Mrs. Wolowitz Howard, there's a blonde girl, Patsy, here to see you.
Howard: Who?
Mrs. Wolowitz Okay, now she's saying it's Penny.

Mrs. Wolowitz Who is it?
Howard: It's Leonard.
Mrs. Wolowitz You're gonna have to play outside. I'm not dressed to receive!

Mrs. Wolowitz Tell her we're going to the Olive Garden. I have a coupon from the paper.
Howard: We're not going to the Olive Garden, ma!
Mrs. Wolowitz Oh, Mr. Big Shot with his Red Lobster.

Mrs. Wolowitz What's going on? Are you boys roughhousing?
Howard: We're just talking, ma.
Mrs. Wolowitz If you don't settle down right now, I'm not going to let you have any more sleepovers.

Mrs. Wolowitz Who's on the phone?
Howard: It's Leonard.
Mrs. Wolowitz Why is he calling?
Howard: Sheldon's sick.
Mrs. Wolowitz Were you playing with him?
Howard: For God's sake ma, I'm twenty six years old.
Mrs. Wolowitz Well excuse me Mr. Grown-up. Whadda ya want for breakfast?