Penny: Thank you, I needed to hear that. Why can't Leonard understand it?
Sheldon: Because he's not like us, Penny. We're dreamers!
Penny: Yeah, I need to start cracking the window when I leave you in the car.

Penny: Hey, what are you guys doing here?
Howard: We're grown men, we drink at bars.
Penny: No and no. Everything okay with you and Bernadette?
Howard: Oh yeah, sure.
Penny: You and Amy? Good?
Sheldon: Oh, better than good.
Penny: You know those girls text me every detail of their lives as it happens.

Penny: Wait. Wait, Sheldon come back, you forgot something.
Sheldon: What?
Penny: This plasma grenade. Ha! Look, it's raining you!

Penny: You gotta help me get my arm into my sleeve.
Sheldon: (Eyes closed) Okay!
Penny: Is that my arm?
Sheldon: It doesn't feel like an arm.
Penny: Then maybe you should let it go.

Penny: (To Raj's dog) Bark once if you need me to call PETA.

*Leonard is kissing Penny, and Penny's dad enters*
Penny: Come on, honey, not in front of my dad.
Penny's dad: Relax, I've seen her do a lot worse with a lot stupider.

Sheldon: It was you. I touched you!
Penny: Happy Valentine's Day.

Penny: You wanna turn yourself into some sort of robot?
Sheldon: Essentially, yes.
Penny: Okay, here's my question: Didn't you already do that?

Penny: No Shoes, No Shirt, No Sheldon.
Howard: I bet we could sell that sign all over Pasadena!

Sheldon: There are post-prom mating rituals?
Penny: Not always. Unless your date drives a van with an air mattress, then always.

Leonard: Why would you buy peppermint schnapps?
Penny: Because I like peppermint, and it's fun to say schnapps!

Sheldon: Who do I speak to about permanently reserving this table?
Penny: I don't know, a psychiatrist?

Sheldon: Here's an interesting fact about alcohol: Man is not the only species that ferments fruit in order to become intoxicated. Can you guess what the other is? Hint: sometimes they pack the alcohol in their trunks.
Penny: Monkeys.
Sheldon: When does a monkey have a trunk?
Penny: When a suitcase just won't do.

Sheldon: I would ask you to find some way to suppress your libido.
Penny: I could think about you.
Sheldon: Whatever works.

Penny: Leonard, and Howard, and Raj, they aren't like other guys. They're special.
Alicia: Okay, they're special, and?
Penny: Well let's see how can I explain this. Um. They don't know how to use their shields.
Alicia: Shields?
Penny: Yeah. You know like in Star Trek and you're in battle, and you raise the shields.
*Realizing what she said* Where the hell did that come from?