Penny Quotes Page 2 of 75

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Quote from the episode The Status Quo Combustion

Penny: No, mom. It's the same guy I've been going out with for the past two years. Yeah, the scientist. Well, it's complicated. He works with lasers and atomic magnets. No, I did not see it coming. No, we have not set a date. No, I am not pregnant. Yeah, this is a first for our family.

Quote from the episode The Comic Book Store Regeneration

Penny: At one point, they had me figure out how to get a banana out of a puzzle box.
Leonard: Wait, Sheldon gave me a banana in a box. He was testing me, too.
Penny: Unbelievable.
Leonard: And how could a chimp even solve that? That was impossible.
Penny: Really? You couldn't get it out?

Quote from the episode The Transporter Malfunction

Leonard: Once you open the box it loses its value.
Penny: Yeah, yeah. My mom gave me the same lecture about my virginity. I gotta tell you, it was a lot more fun taking it out and playing with it.

Quote from the episode The Bachelor Party Corrosion

Penny: What are you doing back?
Leonard: We got a flat and couldn't get the tire off.
Penny: Oh, I'm sorry.
Leonard: Thank you.
Penny: If it makes you feel any better, I pierced Amy's ears and her mom made her sit in my closet.
Sheldon: We blew up Feynman's van.
Penny: My dad killed my pig with his tractor.
Leonard: I spent the night in Mexico with Sheldon.
Penny: You win.

Quote from the episode The Comic Book Store Regeneration

Sheldon: Is that all you have? Shop-worn tidbits like "talk to her" and "let it go"? Gee, Penny, life's given me lemons, what should I do?
Penny: Well, you could shove them somewhere.

Quote from the episode The Gorilla Dissolution

Raj: Oh, the movie's not as bad as you thought?
Penny: No, it is. But I decided instead of complaining about it, I'm going to go in every day and give it my all.
Amy: Good for you.
Penny: Thanks. There's no reason why I shouldn't be the best bi-sexual, go-go dancer, slowly transforming into a killer gorilla, anyone's ever seen.

Quote from the episode The Scavenger Vortex

Penny: Run to India.

Quote from the episode The Panty Pinata Polarization

Penny: Here you go, (to Leonard) Quesadilla, (to Howard) Salad, (to Raj) Here's your pizza. And thanks to Sheldon's heated discussion with my manager, one barbecue bacon cheeseburger, barbecue sauce, bacon, and cheese on the side.
Sheldon: Thank you!
Penny: Go ahead. Eat it. I dare you!

Quote from the episode The Celebration Experimentation

Penny: So what's going on?
Sheldon: I don't know. I looked around the room, and I saw all the faces and the presents, and it it was just too much.
Penny: I get that. Hey, you want to just bring a few people in here? You know, Wil Wheaton in the bathtub, Batman on the toilet. It'll be like the weirdest Comic-Con ever.

Quote from the episode The Good Guy Fluctuation

Leonard: More Halloween candy. Didn't you just buy a bunch of it yesterday?
Penny: Oh, yeah. That's gone. It's a rough month when Halloween and PMS hit at the same time.

Quote from the episode The Adhesive Duck Deficiency

Sheldon: Now remember, you were given powerful pain medication and a muscle relaxer, so don't operate heavy machinery, and try not to choke on your own drool.
*Sheldon is is about to leave.*
Penny: Wait! You have to help me get into bed. (laughs) "Sheldon has to help me get into bed". Bet you thought I'd never say that!
Sheldon: Yes. Charmed. Your drug-addled candour knows no bounds.
*Sheldon follows her to her room after shutting the door. He pulls down the covers to help Penny into bed.*
Penny: You know people think you are this weird robot man who's so annoying all the time and you totally are. But then it's like that movie Wall-E at the end. You're so full of love and you can save a plant and get fat people out of their floaty chairs.
Sheldon: That's a fairly laboured metaphor but I appreciate the sentiment behind it.
Penny: Sing 'Soft Kitty' to me.
Sheldon: 'Soft kitty' is for when you're sick, you're not sick.
Penny: Injured and drugged is a kind of sick.
Sheldon: (sitting on the bed next to her) Soft Kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur...
Penny: Wait wait. Lets sing it as a round. I'll start. Soft Kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur... *Sheldon doesn't join in.*
Penny: So that is when you come in. I'll start over. Soft Kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur... Still nothing from Sheldon.
Penny: I've got all night Sheldon. *She starts again.*
Penny: Soft Kitty, warm kitty...
Sheldon: Soft Kitty, warm kitty... *They both sing the entire song together.*

Quote from the episode The Grasshopper Experiment

Leonard: I don't believe it. What's gotten into him?
Penny: Oh, maybe a couple of virgin Cuba Libres that turned out to be kinda slutty.
Leonard: You didn't.
Penny: Hey, you do your experiments, I do mine.

Quote from the episode The Zarnecki Incursion

Penny: Give my friend his stuff back.
Tod Zarnecki: I don't know what you're talking about.
Penny: Well then good news. Today's the day a girl's finally going to touch you in your little special place. *Kicks him in the groin*

Quote from the episode The Vacation Solution

Penny: Hey, what are you guys doing here?
Howard: We're grown men, we drink at bars.
Penny: No and no. Everything okay with you and Bernadette?
Howard: Oh yeah, sure.
Penny: You and Amy? Good?
Sheldon: Oh, better than good.
Penny: You know those girls text me every detail of their lives as it happens.

Quote from the episode The Colonization Application

Penny: Come on, we are not old, boring people. We can do better than this.
Leonard: That's true. How late did we stay up last night?
Penny: Almost 1 am.
Leonard: Damn straight almost 1 am. And we weren't even watching TV, we were watching Netflix like the kids do.
Penny: Yeah. Is it a comedy, is it a drama? Nobody knows!

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