Leonard: On the other hand, some physicists are concerned that if the supercollider actually works, it'll create a black hole and swallow up the Earth, ending life as we know it.
Raj: What a bunch of crybabies. No guts, no glory, man.

Leonard: You guys ready?
Raj: In a minute. Howard stepped outside to throw up.

Raj: I couldn't find you guys, so I bought six new friends! Sadly, three of them are dead.

Leonard: We all have other costumes, we can change.
Raj: Or we could walk right behind each other all night. It'll look like one person going really fast.

Raj: Okay, if no one else will say it, I will. We really suck at paintball.

Penny: This girl is trouble. What kind of relationship is it where you buy her gifts and she gives you sex?
Raj: The best one I've ever had!

Raj: (Reading Howard's tweet) I am so lonely and horny, I may open this $20 jar of peanuts and end it all.

Raj: (Talking about Howard) Oh, if only I had his confidence. I have such difficulty speaking to women, or around women, or at times even effeminate men.

Raj: How come I wasn't part of this deal?
Sheldon: You had left the refreshment stand in prder to indulge in your customary preemptive pre-show urination.
Raj: So, that's how it works? I have a teeny bladder and I don't get a hot girlfriend.
Howard: Yeah, Raj, that's how it works.
Raj: Damn!

Leonard: What have you been doing for the past six months?
Raj: You know, checking email, updating my Facebook status, messing up Wikipedia entries. Did you know Netflix lets you stream movies on your computer now?

Sheldon: If this is about the night the heat went out, there's nothing to be embarassed about.
Raj: It's not about that.
Howard: We agreed to never speak of it again.
Sheldon: So we slept together naked. It was only to keep our core body temperatures from plummeting.
Howard: He's speaking about it.
Raj: For me it was a bonding moment.

Leonard: You know, when Sheldon gives you homework, you don't have to do it.
Raj: In fact, it's better if you don't. Otherwise, it makes the rest of us look bad.

Raj: I was on the radio, once. I called in to Fever 104 FM New Dehli and was the fourth person to say the phrase that pays: Fever 104 (speaking Hindi).
*The guys stare at Raj*
Raj: That means "Fever 104: Home of the really good current music."
Raj: It's much catchier in Hindi.

Howard: Go get yourself some rebound stress release.
Raj: Technically, it would only be rebound if he and Penny had actually engaged in physical intimacy.
Howard: You mean like you and Richard the slave girl?
Raj: I bought him dinner and we kissed once. That was it. And he told me his name was Kimberly.

Raj: What happens in costume at comic-con stays at comic-com.
Howard: You're only saying that because of what happened to you.
Leonard: What happened to you?
Raj: Nothing happened to me.
Howard: It wasn't your fault, Raj, he was dressed like a green Orion slave girl.
Raj: How did we get on me, we were mocking Leonard for not moving on, dude, you have totally not moved on.