Sheldon: Amy, I find myself wondering if we should actually engage in coitus at least one time in our relationship. Bazinga! Bedtime. Please show yourself out.

Sheldon: I'll be Coop and he'll be Wheels. If he's okay with that.

Amy: I'm just really glad you're back.
Sheldon: Me too. I've got a lot of TV to catch up on.

Sheldon: Koko learned to understands over 2000 words, not one of which had anything to do with shoes.

Sheldon: (Running from the angry mob) Why is there never a pontoon plane when you need one?

Kripke: I'm Barry Kripke and I'm here because you told me there was a raffle. Where is the raffle?
Sheldon: Patience, patience, Barry, the waffle-- ahem. The raffle... is the grand finale to an evening-long festival of fun and folly.
Kripke: One more question--
Sheldon: Yes, you must be present to win.

Sheldon: Goodnight puny human!

Sheldon: Who would win in a fight, you or a shark?

Sheldon: You want some mutton and coconut milk?
Amy: No.
Sheldon: Boy I can not give this stuff away.

Sheldon: First, talking to you while you're on the toilet isn't exactly a picnic for me either. Remember, when you can hear me, I can hear you.

Sheldon: I don't know about you but I'm very uncomfortable about this.
Amy: Why?
Sheldon: I've never seen this show before, and now I'm starting with episode 246. It's unnatural.
Amy: Just think of the first 245 as the prequel.
Sheldon: All right.

Sheldon: Oh, this again. So Penny proposed, you didn't say yes, and now you think you may have lost her love forever. How does this compare to me being forced to relax for a few days?
Leonard: It doesn't!
Sheldon: Thank you.

Sheldon: I suppose I could see myself in a scientific boyband. Of course I'd be the dreamy one and the smart one.

Howard: All I know is he's got my mother buying four ply toilet paper. Four ply! If his butt is so delicate, why doesn't he use an Angora rabbit?
Sheldon: For starters, they shed and bite.

Leonard: You guys, what are we doing? We sent the girls away so we could focus.
Sheldon: I don't think it worked.