Sheldon: You set it on DTS, didn't you?
Leonard: I had to, she called me cutie.

Sheldon: Oh, mimicry. I enjoy mimicry. I've been working on Admiral Ackbar from Return of the Jedi. "It's a trap". You have to imagine me with a giant squid head. "It's a trap! It's a trap. It's a trap."

Penny: Okay, did you even know the people that are moving out?
Sheldon: I never met them. That's what made them perfect. There were no awkward hellos in the halls. There's no clickety-clackety of high-heel shoes on hardwood floors. They may as well have been a family of cats just jumping around from drape to drape. And without that annoying ammonia urine smell.

Leonard: Come on, there's four of us and one of him.
Sheldon: Which means his triumph will be even larger. Minstrels will write songs about him.

Sheldon: There wouldn't have been any ass kickings if that stupid death ray had worked.

Leonard: You cannot blow up my head with your brain.
Sheldon: Then I'll settle for an aneurysm.

Sheldon: My mom bought me those pants.
Leonard: I'm sorry!
Sheldon: You're gonna have to call her.

Sheldon: No, fig newtons are named after the town in Massachusetts, not the scientist. Hey, don't write that down.

Sheldon: Look, you may have democracy in your beloved Russia, but on this physics bowl team, I rule with an iron fist. (Raising his fist) Ow!

Sheldon: Why don't you tell them I take tolls at the Golden Gate Bridge? A Rocket Scientist, how humiliating!

Sheldon: (In Mandarin) Show me your mucus. Your mucus!
Chen: (Mandarin) Blow your own nose and go away!
Sheldon: (Mandarin) This is not a tangerine bicycle. Show me your mucus!
Chen: Crazy man. Call the police.
Sheldon: (Mandarin) No, don't call the library. Show me your mucus.

Sheldon: Oh look, it's Harry Potter and 98% of Sorcerer's stone.

Sheldon: Oh boy.
Penny: What now?
Sheldon: Well, while there's some value to taking multivitamins, the human body can only absorb so much. What you're buying here are the ingredients for very expensive urine.
Penny: Well, maybe that's what I was going for.
Sheldon: Well, then you would want some manganese.

Sheldon: I recently had a dream that I was a giant. But everything around me was to scale so it all looked normal.
Leonard: Well, how did you know you were a giant if everything was to scale?
Sheldon: I was wearing size a million pants.

Penny: Honey, have you ever run before?
Sheldon: Certainly. I've run from bullies, dogs, angry chickens and one particularly persistent PE teacher determined to bend me over and give me a scoliosis test.