Sheldon Cooper Quotes Page 241 of 262
Quote from the episode The Infestation Hypothesis
Sheldon: I was hoping she might listen to you about the dangers of owning unhygienic furniture.
Amy: For general educational purposes, or has she acquired a bar stool dipped in cholera?
Sheldon: Cholera is water-borne. You're mocking me.
Quote from the episode The Infestation Hypothesis
Amy: Will you listen to me play my harp now?
Sheldon: No. I dislike the sound of the harp. Its overuse in classic television sitcoms always makes me think I'm going to experience an episode from my past.
Quote from the episode The Neonatal Nomenclature
Sheldon: No. I am here to sit with you and keep you company.
Bernadette: Oh, that's nice.
Sheldon: Yeah, by playing the most complicated board game ever invented: Campaign for North Africa. I bought it off eBay. It smells a little like chili, but all the pieces are there.
Quote from the episode The Neonatal Nomenclature
Sheldon: You wish. You are hundreds of hours away from the middle.
Quote from the episode The Neonatal Nomenclature
Amy: What are you guys doing here?
Leonard: Sheldon texted and said Bernadette wanted us all to come over.
Sheldon: The game's best with five to ten players.
Quote from the episode The Neonatal Nomenclature
Sheldon: Hey, Bernadette, it's your turn. Penny's air force is strafing your supply line in Tobruk.
Bernadette: We're kind of busy.
Sheldon: Okay, but you're being pretty rude. Everyone did come over to play this game with you.
Quote from the episode The Neonatal Nomenclature
Sheldon: Bernadette, it's your turn.
Bernadette: What about Greg?
Sheldon: All right, I'll just roll for you. Ooh! That is a good one! Your troops' morale rating is pretty high.
Now, Leonard, as the defender, we need to subtract your morale rating from Bernadette's to get a final adjusted morale rating for the assault. And I will just check the assault differential column. Ooh! Who said war was hell? Yeah, that's a rhetorical question. Sherman said it.
Quote from the episode The Neonatal Nomenclature
Amy: Sheldon, we're talking about something important here.
Sheldon: (sighs) Fine. If you pick a baby name, can we get back to playing?
Bernadette: Sure.
Sheldon: All right, here we go. Ranatanata.
Raj: You can't name him Ranatanata.
Sheldon: Oh, right, it's a boy. That'd be ridiculous. (gasps) What about Ozymandias?
Penny: Are you making these up or having a stroke?
Sheldon: Ozymandias is from a poem by Percy Bysshe Shelley. Oh, oh! Bysshe Wolowitz. Solved. Back to the game. Heyo! Sandstorm!
Quote from the episode The Neonatal Nomenclature
Sheldon: Guys. Guys, wake up. Terrible news.
Penny: Oh, my God. What, what, what? Is it the baby?
Sheldon: No. No, no, we miscalculated our unassigned armor class units. We need to start over.
Raj: What?
Sheldon: Oh, no, no, no, not from the beginning. Just from when the tanks started moving.
Leonard: (sighs) That was five hours ago.
Sheldon: Mm, no. No, that was two hours ago. It only feels like five.
Quote from the episode The Neonatal Nomenclature
Sheldon: You know, it can take some time for pigment to form. You're still not out of the woods.
Quote from the episode The Spaghetti Catalyst
Sheldon: I'm glad we're still friends.
Penny: Really?
Sheldon: Oh, yes. It was a lot of work to accommodate you in my life. I'd hate for that effort to have been in vain.
Penny: Right.
Sheldon: Just to be clear do I have to stop saying coitus with everyone or just you?
Penny: Everyone.
Sheldon: Harsh terms. But all right, I'll just substitute intercourse.
Penny: Great.
Sheldon: Or fornication. Yeah. But that has judgmental overtones, so I'll hold that in reserve.
Quote from the episode The Spaghetti Catalyst
Penny: How's Leonard doing?
Sheldon: He seems all right. Although he does spend a disturbing amount of time looking at photographs of you and smelling the pillow you slept on. Oh, but now that I think of it, he asked me not to tell you that.
Penny: I'll pretend I didn't hear it.
Sheldon: I'd rather you pretend I didn't say it.
Quote from the episode The Spaghetti Catalyst
Sheldon: I see you bought Mama Italia marinara spaghetti sauce.
Penny: Yep.
Sheldon: That's the sauce my mother uses. She likes cooking Italian because according to her, that's what the Romans made Jesus eat.
Quote from the episode The Spaghetti Catalyst
Penny: Why don't you give me an hour and come over?
Sheldon: Will you cut up hot dogs into little chunks and mix them in with the sauce?
Penny: I don't have hot dogs.
Sheldon: Oh, it's all right, I do. Oh. You're in for what my mother calls a real Eye-talian treat.
Quote from the episode The Spaghetti Catalyst
Howard: The point is, in a situation like this you got to pick sides. You're either on Team Leonard or Team Penny.
Sheldon: Which one picks last?
Howard: What?
Sheldon: Well, usually I'm on the team that picks last. Unless there's a kid in a wheelchair.
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