Stuart Bloom Quotes Page 11 of 12

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Quote from the episode The Status Quo Combustion

*As Stuart moves a box, a piece of the ceiling falls down*
Stuart: That could have killed me. ... Can't catch a break.

Quote from the episode The Status Quo Combustion

Stuart: I don't mean to be rude, Sheldon, but my life is kinda falling apart right now.

Quote from the episode The Mommy Observation

Stuart: Hey, can I go to the bathroom?
Raj: Fine, just try not to look too alive.
Stuart: That's my jam.

Quote from the episode The Mommy Observation

Penny: You really going to lie on the floor and pretend to be dead all night?
Stuart: What do you think I was going to do at home?

Quote from the episode The Hofstadter Isotope

Stuart: Oh, Sheldon, I'm afraid you couldn't be more wrong.
Sheldon: More wrong? Wrong is an absolute state and not subject to gradation.
Stuart: Of course it is. It's a little wrong to say a tomato is a vegetable, it's very wrong to say it's a suspension bridge.

Quote from the episode The Occupation Recalibration

Stuart: I haven't seen this many people in my store since that Korean Church bus crashed through my window.

Quote from the episode The Occupation Recalibration

Stuart: You know something, Jesse. You may have a successful business and the kind of pink complexion that comes with good nutrition, but I have something more important.
Jesse: What's that?
Stuart: Friendship ... which I would trade in a heartbeat for all this.

Quote from the episode The Occupation Recalibration

Bernadette: Hey, Stuart.
Stuart: *startled* Hey.
Bernadette: Sorry, did I startle you?
Stuart: Yes, but at this point pretty much any customer does.

Quote from the episode The Occupation Recalibration

Bernadette: I accidentally destroyed one of Howard's comic books this morning and I was hoping I could replace it.
Stuart: What happened?
Bernadette: Batman got his ass kicked by my curling iron.
Stuart: Don't let the Riddler know that. It's a comic book joke.
*Bernadette stares blankly*
Stuart: Or maybe it's not.

Quote from the episode The Hesitation Ramification

Stuart: How about those guys on that bench over there? They look pathetic. Maybe we could talk to them.
Raj: That's a mirror.

Quote from the episode The Hesitation Ramification

Bernadette: Raj, when you said you were going to bring a date to watch Penny's thing tonight, I didn't think you meant Stuart.
Howard: Really? I never for a second thought it'd be anything else.

Quote from the episode The Hesitation Ramification

Stuart: When I was a baby, my mother called me her little possum.
Raj: Are possums cute?
Stuart: Not at all.

Quote from the episode The Cooper Extraction

Amy: (Talking "It's A Wonderful Life"). It's great. It's Christmas time, and Jimmy Stewart's really depressed and he's gonna jump off a bridge and kill himself.
Stuart: Don't need to see it, living it!

Quote from the episode The Cooper Extraction

Stuart: Hello. Oh good, I'm glad you guys didn't wait for me to start. Although you said seven and it's seven. It's fine!

Quote from the episode The Raiders Minimization

Raj: In the last hour 162 people have read our profiles. How many of them have sent us messages?
Stuart: Combined?
Raj: Yes.
Stuart: Zero.

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