Howard Wolowitz Quotes Page 39 of 53

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Quote from the episode The Psychic Vortex

Howard: I don't like to kiss and tell, but somebody made it to eighth base.
Leonard: What the hell is eighth base?
Howard: Seventh base with shirt off. Well, my shirt.

Quote from the episode The Psychic Vortex

Howard: Let me show you another way to look at this. Here we have the universe of all women. These are the ones you want to sleep with. These are the women who believe exactly what you believe. These are the women who would be willing to sleep with you. And right there in the little triple intersection is your ideal mate. Odds are she's a short physicist with low self-esteem who lives in a government research facility in China.

Quote from the episode The Work Song Nanocluster

Howard: Hey, you know what'd be a great idea? We get some girls over here and play Laser Obstacle Strip Chess.
Leonard: Believe me, Howard, any girl who would be willing to play that, you don't want to see naked.
Howard: You underestimate me.

Quote from the episode The Work Song Nanocluster

Penny: Well, it's a little juvenile. I mean, it kind of looks like the MySpace page of a 13-year-old girl.
Leonard: No, it doesn't.
Howard: Please, Dateline could use it to attract predators.

Quote from the episode The Financial Permeability

Leonard: Here you go. Oh, you owe me another two dollars. The price of mu-shu pork went up.
Howard: It's getting tougher and tougher to be a bad Jew.

Quote from the episode The Financial Permeability

Howard: Ugh. This mu-shu pork is burning a hole through me duodenum.
Raj: Leviticus 11:3 "Only that which parteth the hoof and cheweth the cud among the beasts shall ye at."
Howard: Hey, do I mock you with the Bhagavad-Gita every time you scarf down a whopper?

Quote from the episode The Benefactor Factor

Penny: Oh, Howard, I can't believe Bernadette let you go to a fancy party wearing a dickey.
Howard: Excuse me, my girlfriend doesn't pick out my clothes. My mother does.

Quote from the episode The Bakersfield Expedition

Howard: I wish my mom was here. We could all hang out in her shadow.

Quote from the episode The Santa Simulation

Sheldon: Svaty Vaclav is better known as Good King Wenceslas from the beloved Victorian Christmas carol.
Howard: Never heard of it. Must be the one Christmas song not written by a Jewish guy.

Quote from the episode The Classified Materials Turbulence

Sheldon: All right, what if we use this two-inch PVC to reinforce the center cross-support?
Howard: No good. I mean, it might work for the Japanese and the Americans, but have you seen the size of the Russians they've got up there? The thing has to hold up against a hearty potato-based diet.

Quote from the episode The Shiny Trinket Maneuver

Howard: But don't you think it will be different when the child is ours?
Bernadette: Right, when it's our kid that has ruined my body, and kept me up all night, and I've got no career and no future, and nothing to be happy about for the next twenty years. Sure, that'll be completely different.
Howard: Well, yeah.

Quote from the episode The Contractual Obligation Implementation

Leonard: I'm thinking one way to counter bias in the peer-review process is for papers to be submitted under gender-neutral names. Like S. Smith instead of Samantha Smith.
Sheldon: I supposed there is a history for professional women using their initials so as not to be pre-judged. Harry Potter's J.K. Rowling, Star Trek's D.C. Fontana.
Howard: Van Nuys pole dancer D.D. Melons.

Quote from the episode The Contractual Obligation Implementation

Leonard: It's nice of your old school to let us try out our science talk on some female students.
Howard: Well, they're actually pretty excited. I'm their most famous alum. If you don't count the serial killer who ate all those prostitutes.

Quote from the episode The Contractual Obligation Implementation

Girl: So you just flew around? That's kind of like my uncle. He's a flight attendant.
Howard: No, I'm an American hero. Your uncle brings people nuts, okay?

Quote from the episode The Tangible Affection Proof

Howard: Bernie's a little cranky since she's been working, like, seventeen hours a day. And I've got a lot on my plate, too, because I've been busting my tail playing Assassin's Creed.

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