Howard: Honey, babies don't always come on their due date. Halley was two weeks late. [seeing Bernadette's stare] But this baby's a boy. They don't take as long to get ready.

Howard: So, bottom line, what you did was wrong and cruel, which the mother of my children finds oddly appealing.
Amy: So she still wants to be my maid of honor?
Howard: Maid of honor, hit woman, whatever you need. Make the call.

Raj: When we gaze out at the immensities of space, we understand them because there are immensities within us as well. I'm Dr. Rajesh Koothrappali, and thank you for taking a walk with me ... through the stars.
Leonard: That pause gets longer every show.
Howard: I believe ... you're right.

Howard: Hey, Professor Proton.
Wil Wheaton: Hey, thanks for being here.
Howard: No problem. I'm on my "launch" break.

Leonard: And then, when the lights come back on in the supercollider room, Dr. Logan Dean makes two important discoveries, gluino (gruffly) and murder.
Howard: Oh, gluino. That's exciting.
Leonard: (gruffly) And murder.
Howard: (gruffly) I heard you. The first time.

Sheldon: I just learned some very distressing news. Sometimes, Amy doesn't do things because she's worried about how I'll react.
Howard: First of all, it's not sometimes, it's always.
Raj: Second, it's not Amy, it's everybody.
Howard: And third, it's not news, it's well-established.

Sheldon: So you're saying everyone walks on eggshells to spare my feelings?
Howard: No, of course not, because we don't want to hear you complain about how much you hate the sound of crunching eggshells.

Penny: You know, I always thought Christian was a nice name.
Howard: I don't know. Sounds a little too uncircumcised.

Howard: How you feeling?
Bernadette: Eh. But I am really excited to meet our son.
Howard: Me, too. I thought I'd be super freaked out. But I'm ready for this. Well, not the part where you're in labor and you squeeze my fingers till they turn blue.
Bernadette: I'm sorry. That must be really painful for you.
Howard: It is. I mean, last time, I- Okay, I see what you're doing.

Bernadette: You know what, maybe we're putting too much pressure on this. It doesn't matter what we name him. He's gonna be amazing.
Howard: You're right. This kid is part you and part me.
Bernadette: Yeah. He's gonna be smart and kind and funny.
Howard: If he cracks five-foot-six, it'll be a miracle.

Bernadette: I just love them so much.
Howard: Me, too. My heart feels like it's gonna explode. Of course, it's full of brisket, so it probably will.

Howard: Oh, I didn't even know I was capable of loving someone so much.
Bernadette: More than me?
Howard: Wha--
Bernadette: Uh, I'm just messing with you. I totally love them more than you.
Howard: I get that. I would take a bullet for them. But I would get seriously mutilated for you.
Bernadette: That's sweet. But you should know, if you got seriously mutilated, I might dump you.
Howard: You'd be crazy not to. Even unmutilated, I'm no prize.

Howard: But this time-
Stuart: It was me. Yeah. I was trying out a flirty new smile.
Howard: Now, I don't use the word "ghoulish" a lot, but I-I just can't think of another word.

Howard: My religion's kinda loosey-goosey. Basically, as long as you got your schmekel clipped and don't wear a cross, you're good.

Bernadette: Howie, you promised you'd move.
Howard: And I will.
Penny: Yeah, right.
Howard: I will. I'm obviously not going to live in my mother's house for the rest of my life. I'm not a child.
Penny: I've seen her burp you.
Howard: She did not burp me. She was patting me on the back, and I happened to burp.