Leonard: I play Grand Theft Auto. I know about gats. *gun fires*

Leonard: Can you be more specific on how my eyebrows are "stupid"? No, never mind. It's right here.

Penny: So, what do you want to do?
Leonard: I know exactly what we are gonna do.
Penny: Really? You're a genius, and that's the first thing you come up with?
Leonard: Hey, Sheldon's not here, so we are going to put on music and dance in our underwear.
Penny: Ugh. Can we just have sex?
Leonard: Oh, don't worry. Once you see my sweet moves, sex is inevitable.

Amy: I'm really worried about Sheldon. I've never seen him this down.
Penny: Have you tried making him a cup of tea?
Amy: He's reevaluated tea. Now he thinks it's nothing but leaf soup.
Leonard: That's a good point.
Penny: No, it's not.
Leonard: No, it's not.

Leonard: Ahh, Sheldon's texting me to drive him to Bernadette's.
Penny: Well, what are you gonna say?
Leonard: Well, they did just introduce the middle finger emoji. If it's not for this, I don't know what it's for.

Leonard: Why are you pretending to be outdoors? You hate it.
Sheldon: Oh, Amy showed me a compelling study that demonstrated the cognitive benefit of spending time in the wilderness.
Leonard: Buddy, I am ready to drive you into the wilderness any time you want and leave you there.

Leonard: That's two proposals, one day. Sounds like someone wants to spend the rest of their life telling people how to spell the name Hofstadter.

Leonard: I love you.
Penny: I love you, too.
Leonard: And you're gonna do great. Just relax, stay out of your head, and try to enjoy it.
Penny: Aw. That reminds me of what I said to you the first time we slept together.
Leonard: I still use it. It's a mantra.

Sheldon: Oh, Meemaw got a new set of teeth. Oh, but then she found her old ones. Oh, so now the new ones are just gonna be her church teeth.
Leonard: Fun. Like your Comic-Con Spock ears and your around the house Spock ears.

Sheldon: Well, cell service is down to one bar, so if anyone needs medical attention or to tell a stranger their political views are stupid, now's the time.
Amy: Have you ever been off the grid before?
Sheldon: Once. The battery ran out on my phone. I had to wait for my iPad to turn on.
Leonard: I was afraid he was gonna eat me.

Cinema Worker: Excuse me. You guys interested in a free screening of an upcoming movie?
Leonard: Oh. Sorry, we can't.
Howard: Well, hang on. What movie is it?
Cinema Worker: Oh, I can't tell you. But it does star Will Smith.
Howard: Wait. I bet it's Suicide Squad. Let's check it out.
Leonard: What about the girls?
Howard: Penny just said they're having fun. Honestly, you want to wrap tape around a bunch of pipe fittings all afternoon?
Leonard: Okay, we'll take 'em. But, I swear, if it's Will Smith in Shark Tale 2, it better be at least as good as the original.

Leonard: Oh, I knew it, Sheldon changed the password.
Penny: Are you sure?
Leonard: Well, the new network name is, "Ha ha ha, now I've got you," so It's either Sheldon or Gargamel from The Smurfs.

Stuart: Okay, how about we flip a coin?
Leonard: Look, hang on. Doesn't this girl get a word in all of this? And isn't that word "no"?

Penny: Hey, you guys want to play a drinking game?
Sheldon: Oh, well now, we'll never win. You always play the drinking game.
Penny: Not the drinking game, a drinking game.
Leonard: To be fair, good at both.

Leonard: Pardon me, Sheldon, but how many reels until the protagonist gets to his point?