Howard: I'm serious, JPL's actually developing a robot arm that could grab an asteroid before it hits us.
Leonard: So their plan for saving the Earth from Armageddon is hoping a bunch of scientists can catch a ball?

Leonard: And that is how a short asthmatic scientist landed a stone-cold fox.

Leonard: You'll have nerds fawning all over you. If you don't love that, this marriage is in trouble.

Leonard: Keep M&Ms in your pocket in case you have to wait in a long line.

Leonard: He startles easily, so, please, no flash photography.

Leonard: Never leave a belt on the floor. At night, they look like snakes.

Penny: You can stay in Leonard's room, and we'll stay at my place.
Amy: You're sure that's not an inconvenience?
Penny: No, not at all.
Leonard: And we live with Sheldon, so the word "inconvenience" has really lost all meaning.

Bernadette: So, have you ever spent a long time on a boat before?
Leonard: Yeah.
Penny: Are you referring to the time we got stuck on the Small World ride at Disneyland?
Leonard: Yeah.

Leonard: Look, I appreciate your signature blend of concern for me and incredible selfishness. If I get the chance to do this, there is nothing you can say that's going to stop me.

Leonard: On the count of three, both of you bounce the balls as hard as you can. The highest bounce wins the office.
Barry Kripke: Oh, you are going down, Cooper.
Sheldon: I don't think so, Kripke. I've bounced many a rubber ball in my day.
Leonard: All right, that's enough trash talk. One, two, three.

Sheldon: Hey! He did that on purpose,
Leonard: No, he didn't. Nothing that's happening here is being done on purpose. Okay, uh, forget one-on-one. Let's try a free throw contest. First person who makes a basket wins the office.
Barry Kripke: Making it too easy there, Hofstadter.
Leonard: No. No, I'm not.

Raj: It was a nice retirement party.
Howard: I guess. Still, it's a shame Professor Rothman was forced to step down.
Leonard: What choice did the university have? He snapped. It happens to theoretical physicists all the time.
Howard: I wonder how long Sheldon's got.
Sheldon: These shrimp are all the same size. There's no the logical order to eat them in. (throws shrimp in the trash)
Leonard: Cant be very long.

Leonard: I'm gonna have sex with you right here, right now, on that washing machine.
Penny: No, you're not.
Leonard: Come on, please.
Penny: If you want to do something, you can help me fold this sheet.
Leonard: Folding a sheet in my underwear, still pretty crazy.

Howard: I don't know what my next move is.
Leonard: Well, Howard, I don't know much about women.
Howard: Yeah?
Leonard: No, uh, that, that's it. I don't know much about women.

Leonard: So, Howard Wolowitz tying the knot. Leaving his crazy bachelor days behind. He was a wild one. Well, I guess we all kind of were. I remember this one time, I was with this girl at the beach. We were in the ocean and we started making out. I know, it was crazy. I wasn't even wearing my Aquasocks.