Leonard Hofstadter Quotes Page 42 of 62

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Quote from the episode The Closure Alternative

Sheldon: Why would the Chinese make our DVR record Paul Blart: Mall Cop?
Leonard: I don't know. It's a fat guy on a Segway. That's funny everywhere.

Quote from the episode The Closure Alternative

Penny: What's wrong with cute?
Leonard: It just makes things seem small. It diminishes them.
Penny: So you want me to stop calling your little tushie cute?
Leonard: You can try, but nobody's gonna believe you.

Quote from the episode The Shiny Trinket Maneuver

Howard: Look, I made Sheldon disappear. Ta-da.
Leonard: Next time, you should lead with that.

Quote from the episode The Shiny Trinket Maneuver

Howard: Maybe me and Bernadette aren't right for each other.
Leonard: Look, Howard, I'd say there's a lot of fish in the sea, but I watched you dangle your hook in the water for years. Do not throw her back.

Quote from the episode The Contractual Obligation Implementation

Leonard: I never wanted to play the cello. How do you meet girls playing the cello? Hey, you want to come over to my house and listen to me play an instrument that sounds like a suicidal bumblebee?

Quote from the episode The Stag Convergence

Leonard: Whoa, it's a little early to start dropping J-bombs, don't you think?

Quote from the episode The Love Car Displacement

Penny: Wait, wait, just to be clear, when you guys say spa, does that mean the same thing as when regular people say it?
Leonard: Pretty much. Except we keep our shirts on in the sauna.

Quote from the episode The Vartabedian Conundrum

Stephanie: I just performed a Sheldonectomy.
Leonard: Careful, if you don't get it all, it'll only come back worse.

Quote from the episode The Monopolar Expedition

Sheldon: I'm a theoretical physicist, a career I chose in no small part because it's indoors. But if I'm able to detect slow-moving magnetic monopoles there, I will be the first scientist to confirm string theory. People will write books about me. Third-graders will create macaroni-art dioramas depicting scenes from my life.
Leonard: Sure, maybe a tableau of me trying to pummel you to death.

Quote from the episode The Monopolar Expedition

Leonard: What about the really long hug? What did that mean?
Penny: That wasn't a long hug.
Leonard: It was at least five Mississippis. A standard hug is two Mississippis tops.

Quote from the episode The Hamburger Postulate

Penny: Leonard, I didn't know you played the cello?
Leonard: Yeah, my parents felt that naming me Leonard and putting me in advanced placement classes wasn't getting me beaten up enough.

Quote from the episode The Hamburger Postulate

Leslie: I admire your fingering.
Leonard: Thank you.
Leslie: Maybe some time you can try that on my instrument.

Quote from the episode The Irish Pub Formulation

Leonard: Sorry.
Priya: For what?
Leonard: I don't know. When I'm in bed with a girl, it's just it's my go to response.

Quote from the episode The Hot Troll Deviation

Howard: I think I'm gonna take her to miniature golf.
Leonard: Ah, well, I guess for you guys that's like regular golf.
Howard: Short jokes? Really? You're like a quarter of an inch taller than me.
Leonard: Yeah, and don't you forget it.

Quote from the episode The Cornhusker Vortex

Penny: We won.
Leonard: Oh, that's excellent. It's a weird figure of speech, isn't it? We won, when you weren't actually playing. When we watch Star Wars, we don't say we defeated the empire.
Penny: I'm glad to hear it.

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