Sheldon Cooper Quotes Page 116 of 262
Quote from the episode The Status Quo Combustion
Leonard: Maybe I'll move in with Penny, or maybe she and I'll take this place and you can move across the hall.
Sheldon: Move across the hall?! Did you take a marijuana?
Quote from the episode The Status Quo Combustion
Sheldon: I see. You're putting your future bride's happiness above mine.
Leonard: Well, yeah!
Sheldon: Wow.
Quote from the episode The Bitcoin Entanglement
Sheldon: *knock knock knock* Penny! *knock knock knock* Penny! *knock knock knock* Penny!
Penny: Sheldon, go away. I'm making a video.
Sheldon: Oh, I'm sorry. I'll come back when you're alone.
Quote from the episode The Codpiece Topology
Leonard: I would appreciate it if you would, you know, make yourself scarce.
Sheldon: Leonard, I am a published theoretical physicist with two doctorates and an IQ which can't be accurately measured by normal tests, how much scarcer could I be?
Quote from the episode The Bitcoin Entanglement
Leonard: You having a good day?
Penny: No, I missed an audition because my computer broke, and I didn't get the e-mail. Would've been a perfect part for me.
Sheldon: Was it waitress who ignores her customers? Because that's the role you were born to play.
Penny: Shut up and eat your burger.
Sheldon: Actually, it's a turkey club.
Penny: Didn't you order a burger?
Sheldon: I did, and yet here we are.
Quote from the episode The Convention Conundrum
Sheldon: I don't think that will be necessary for Mr. James Earl Jones. You heard me. The voice of Darth Vader, The Lion King's dad and, FYI, the guy who says "This is CNN" - who also sounds like Darth Vader.
Quote from the episode The Codpiece Topology
Leonard: I've dated plenty of women. There was Joyce Kim, Leslie Winkle.
Sheldon: Notify the editors of the Oxford English Dictionary. The word plenty has been redefined to mean two.
Quote from the episode The Matrimonial Metric
Amy: Penny gets 20 points for the sewing kit.
Sheldon: Yeah, minus five, because this is mine.
Quote from the episode The Celebration Reverberation
Amy: I know we only have coitus on my birthday, but I don't know if I can wait until midnight.
Sheldon: Oh, well, you'll be glad you did. Everyone knows the best foreplay is rigid adherence to a strict schedule.
Quote from the episode The Geology Methodology
Amy: Sheldon, you've never cared what people thought, even when you really, really should. That dinner with my parents comes to mind.
Sheldon: If I'm not gonna use "your momma" jokes when I meet your mother, why'd I bother to learn them?
Quote from the episode The Intimacy Acceleration
Penny: What's yours?
Sheldon: I wake up. I enjoy some french toast with butter and syrup. Then a wormhole opens and whisks me millions of years into the future, where my towering intellect is used to save the last remnants of mankind from a predatory alien race.
Penny: Interesting you didn't mention Amy.
Sheldon: Who do you think made the french toast and syrup?
Quote from the episode The Extract Obliteration
Sheldon: I will play the word "at" for two measly points, throwing the game and thus securing my friendship with the smartest man in the world.
Howard: What are you waiting for? Hit send.
Sheldon: I can't. Losing on purpose is intellectually dishonest.
Raj: So don't do it.
Sheldon: Oh, but I want to be Hawking's friend.
Howard: So do it.
Sheldon: Oh, but if I do, I'll be a phony, a sellout, a Hollywood poser.
Raj: Then don't do it.
Sheldon: I won't. This feels right. My mother always said, to thine own self be true.
Howard: Good for you.
Sheldon: 'course she also told me that every animal in the world got on one boat, so what does she know? And send.
Quote from the episode The Proton Resurgence
Howard: How'd you get him to come to your house?
Sheldon: As Professor Proton always says, there is no problem you can't solve if you use your noggin.
Leonard: And he wrote him a check.
Sheldon: Yeah, that too. A big check.
Quote from the episode The Codpiece Topology
Sheldon: Of all the overrated physicists in all the labs in all the world, why does it have to be Leslie Winkle?
Quote from the episode The Meteorite Manifestation
Stuart: Yeah, this one made me go for ice cream and talk about her day. Spoiler alert: it was fine.
Amy: It wasn't fine. I got trapped in an elevator.
Sheldon: I may have missed a few details. The bottom of my cone was drippy.
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