Sheldon: Okay, I know you're texting about me and I'd really like you to stop.

Stuart: All right, let's see what you got. Huh. Is this a complete run of Todd McFarlane's Spawn?
Sheldon: (gasps loudly) Yes.
Stuart: Ooh, look at this. Giant-Size X-Men number one, Len Wein's relaunch of the franchise.
Sheldon: Yeah. I know what it is. I'm the one who bought it, bagged it, boarded it and taped it shut while wearing white cotton gloves.

Sheldon: I said some pretty unprofessional things about his work. I may have even used the "S" word.
Amy: Subpar?
Sheldon: I'm not proud of it, Amy, but I have a temper.

Sheldon: And guess where we get to sleep? Our choice of a turn-of-the-century railway bunkhouse or a working caboose. Now, the problem with a caboose is there's no bathroom, but the problem with the bunkhouse is it's not a caboose.

Leonard: Really? Is this still happening?
Howard: I'm willing to make up, but someone's being a baby.
Sheldon: Ooh! I do love a riddle. Oh, let me see. See, my first guess would be Halley, but that'd be strange to accuse her of being a baby 'cause she is a baby. Um, I suppose it could be Stuart; his head does have a certain milky scent.

Sheldon: We've assigned all wedding decisions randomly, and each of us makes half of them. You know, from venue to officiant to numbering system for the tables: Roman or Dewey Decimal.
Leonard: Why not hexadecimal?
Sheldon: 'Cause this is our wedding, not a joke.

Sheldon: Hello, Leonard.
Leonard: Hi.
Sheldon: Are you doing anything?
Leonard: No. I'm just sitting here at my desk typing on my computer for nothing.
Sheldon: That was my guess, but I didn't want to assume.

Leonard: I can't believe you took a gift from me and gave it to another man.
Sheldon: Really? Of all the things she's given to other men, that's what you're concerned about?

Sheldon: Wait. The premise is that he is dressed differently?
Howard: Yeah.
Sheldon: (laughing) That's true. He is not dressed the same.

Sheldon: As I have explained repeatedly, unlike you, I don't need validation from lesser minds. No offense.
Leonard: Really, so why did you come?
Sheldon: Because I knew you’d screw this up.
Leonard: I didn't screw it up.
Sheldon: Oh, please. I admit, that spherical chicken joke, that was hilarious. But it was straight downhill from there.

Leonard: Uh, who wants to go see Last Jedi again tonight?
Raj: Mm, I'm in.
Sheldon: Me, too. It'll be nice to see the parts I missed while I was blinking.

Amy: Sheldon, I've made more than enough accommodations for you. We're both grown adults. We've been far more intimate than this. If you don't want to snuggle, fine. But we're not building a pillow wall.
Sheldon: Okay, well, I am sorry. I'm just worried that my sensitivity to temperature could make this a rough night. And no offense, but your bottom radiates enough heat, I'm surprised there aren't iguanas lying on it.

Amy: I'm not sleeping on the couch 'cause you don't know what's private and what's not.
Sheldon: This isn't fair. You've discussed aspects of our physical relationship with Penny.
Amy: That's different! She's a close friend, not the lady in the cafeteria who cuts the crust off your sandwiches!
Sheldon: That lady has a name. I don't know what it is, but one time, I accidentally called her "Mom".

Raj: Look. I know you guys are upset, but we've talked about it and we think it would be beneficial for you to be part of the project.
Howard: Well. Well. Well. Did you hear that Sheldon?
Sheldon: I'm sorry. I was trying to think of what rhymes with Nose of the Aardvark.

Sheldon: Oh, and forget what I said about the Myanmar catfish. My list of marine-themed pilgrim facts is pretty short.
Amy: Did you know they served shellfish and eel at the very first Thanksgiving?
Sheldon: And there goes my list.