Bernadette: Howard, we both know you can't keep up this pace. By this afternoon you're gonna be passed out on the couch and I'm gonna have three exhausted babies to deal with.

Bernadette: Gerald, what's going on? Hope you're not screwing up my research. You calling from a bike ride? 'Cause you're backpedaling hard.

Bernadette: It's cute how excited they are. You should have seen Howard sewing his costume all week for the convention.
Amy: When did Howard learn to sew?
Bernadette: When he was a little boy, every couple months, he would have to let his mom's pants out.

Bernadette: Can I get you anything? Juice box? 'nanas?
Amy: 'nanas?
Bernadette: Sorry. Mom brain. I think I've forgot how to talk to grown-ups. I meant Ba-nanas.

Amy: You want to take a break and maybe get something to eat?
Bernadette: Sure.
Amy: Why does it not feel like we're going?
Bernadette: Hang on, I-I just want to see if Bob can fix it. (chuckles) Yes, he can!

Bernadette: You know what? I don't want to be one of those moms who can only talk about her kids.
Amy: Okay, well, I'm reading a pretty good book. It's the untold story of female artists during the Renaissance.
Bernadette: Oh, I'm in the middle of a book, too. It's three pages long and floats in the bath.

Bernadette: God. What's happening? I'm a smart, educated, successful...
Amy: "Woman"?
Bernadette: I was gonna get it.

Amy: Don't be so hard on yourself. Pregnancy and childbirth actually cause physical changes to the structure of your brain.
Bernadette: I liked the old structure of my brain. But then, I liked a lot of my old structures.

Bernadette: The sun is losing about six times ten to the 12th grams per second, so the fraction of the mass it loses every year is about ten to the negative 13th. But don't worry. It'll be millions of years before we all freeze to death. Sweet dreams.

Bernadette: Evolution gave me this mom brain to focus on the baby, but I figure I can hack it to learn all kinds of new things.
Howard: Well, that's great.
Bernadette: Yeah. There was a problem, and I fixed it.
Howard: Like Bob the Builder in that giraffe cage.
Bernadette: Spoiler alert. I didn't see that one yet.

Amy: And I think you're forgetting that there are written documents of meat between bread being eaten in China during the Tang dynasty.
Bernadette: (to Howard) You know what, I'll go with you. And then maybe we just go home.

Raj: I hope there's nothing disturbing on there.
Bernadette: Like you two in a hot tub?

Amy: Leonard, you cannot drop him off. You have to stay with him and keep him safe.
Bernadette: Howard, you have to go and keep Leonard safe.
Raj: Fine. I get it, and you want me to go and keep Howard safe.
Howard: Actually, I-
Bernadette: Uh, just say yes, or he's gonna want to come to the bachelorette party.

Bernadette: [To the hot bartender] Do you do body shots?
Penny: Oh, she said she didn't want one.
Bernadette: Mind your business.

Bernadette: Amy? Amy? Should we get her home?
Penny: Why? She's sound asleep, and we have sliders coming.
Bernadette: One more round!