Howard Wolowitz Quotes Page 2 of 70

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Quote from the episode The Wedding Gift Wormhole

Howard: If there's a chance someone's gonna see you naked, it's also polite to make sure you're well-groomed down there.
Bernadette: I get it, Howard. I've been busy!

Quote from the episode The Wedding Gift Wormhole

Stuart: We kissed a little at the wedding, and it was great. But we haven't really talked about it since then. So I-I don't know how she feels about me.
Howard: Well, she patted you on the head, so I'm guessing she feels like you're such a good boy!

Quote from the episode The Wedding Gift Wormhole

Howard: So, what's her deal? Is she into you or does she just hate her parents?

Quote from the episode The Wedding Gift Wormhole

Howard: You're not a real married couple until you can pee with the door open and she's okay with it.
Bernadette: I told you, I'm not okay with it.
Howard: She loves it.

Quote from the episode The Conjugal Configuration

Bernadette: Man, that is one hot weather girl.
Howard: How come if I say that I get in trouble?
Bernadette: You want to say it? You can say it.
Howard: Nice try. You're gonna have to find some other way to not have sex with me tonight. And it's not weather girl, it's weather woman.

Quote from the episode The Conjugal Configuration

Raj: Sounds like someone's in there.
Bernadette: My God, what if Sheldon and Amy are getting robbed?
Howard: Or worse, what if they're back early?

Quote from the episode The Conjugal Configuration

Raj: So, something pretty cool happened. Channel 3 asked me to be on the news tomorrow night to talk about the meteor shower.
Leonard: Oh, that's great.
Penny: Hey-
Bernadette: Congratulations.
Howard: You know, that's how Neil deGrasse Tyson got his start. He went from the Hayden Planetarium to guesting on the local news to ruining everyone's favorite movies on the Internet.

Quote from the episode The Bow Tie Asymmetry

Howard: Hey, uh, the bride and groom seem to be running a little behind. Do you think you could stall?
Mark Hamill: Stall? How?
Howard: Hey, everybody! Uh, it's gonna be a few more minutes, but while we wait, does anyone have any questions about Star Wars? *lots of hands go up* You got this.

Quote from the episode The Bow Tie Asymmetry

Raj: W-What is he doing here?
Howard: I found his dog and guilted him into officiating the wedding. Don't tell Sheldon. It's a surprise.
Raj: Wait, I-I thought Wil was officiating the wedding.
Howard: Yeah, so did he.
Raj: How did he take the news?
Howard: I'll let you know.

Quote from the episode The Bow Tie Asymmetry

Mark Hamill: Anyway, thanks so much. I-I want to give you a reward for finding him.
Howard: (chuckles) Oh, no, I couldn't take your money. It's just an honor to meet you.
Mark Hamill: No. No, please. You don't know what this dog means to me, and I thought he was gone for good. Please? There must be something I can do for you. Anything.
Howard: Oh, you're gonna regret that.

Quote from the episode The Bow Tie Asymmetry

Mark Hamill: Thank you so much for finding this guy. Oh, my goodness. Hey, Bark.
How are you, buddy?
Howard: Y-Your dog's name is Bark?
Mark Hamill: Yeah.
Howard: Bark Hamill?
Mark Hamill: Yeah. Well, I let the fans name him online. I got lucky, though. He was almost Honey Baked Hamill.

Quote from the episode The Bow Tie Asymmetry

*Howard answers his front door*
Mark Hamill: Hi.
Howard: I'm gonna need a minute. [closes the door] That's Mark Hamill!

Quote from the episode The Sibling Realignment

Howard: Hey, Bernie. Hey, how do you know if someone has pink eye?
Bernadette: Um, their eye would be red, swollen and probably oozy.
Howard: Okay, thanks. Both kids have pink eye.

Quote from the episode The Monetary Insufficiency

Raj: Anyone seen Sheldon?
Leonard: Last time I saw Sheldon was this morning.
Howard: Careful. Don't say his name a third time.

Quote from the episode The Monetary Insufficiency

Sheldon: Ordinary people can't beat a casino, but mathematicians and scientists, they do it all the time. Yeah, a group of students from MIT took Las Vegas for millions, and that's MIT. Howard went there.
Howard: Come on, Sheldon. I'll give you a ride out to the desert right now.
Leonard: No one is going to Vegas.
Howard: No, we weren't gonna make it to Vegas.

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