Howard Wolowitz Quotes Page 2 of 66

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Quote from the episode The Neonatal Nomenclature

Raj: Hey, everything okay?
Howard: Yeah! The baby was born about an hour ago.
Raj: (gasps) Dude, why didn't you call me?!
Howard: (chuckles) The only way I would see my son for the first time and immediately think "I need to call Raj" is if he came out brown.

Quote from the episode The Neonatal Nomenclature

Bernadette: You know what, maybe we're putting too much pressure on this. It doesn't matter what we name him. He's gonna be amazing.
Howard: You're right. This kid is part you and part me.
Bernadette: Yeah. He's gonna be smart and kind and funny.
Howard: If he cracks five-foot-six, it'll be a miracle.

Quote from the episode The Neonatal Nomenclature

Howard: How you feeling?
Bernadette: Eh. But I am really excited to meet our son.
Howard: Me, too. I thought I'd be super freaked out. But I'm ready for this. Well, not the part where you're in labor and you squeeze my fingers till they turn blue.
Bernadette: I'm sorry. That must be really painful for you.
Howard: It is. I mean, last time, I- Okay, I see what you're doing.

Quote from the episode The Neonatal Nomenclature

Bernadette: You know what, maybe we should go.
Howard: Did you have another contraction?
Bernadette: No. I'm just worried that Sheldon's gonna say "mucus plug" again.
Sheldon: And I'm worried one's gonna hit me in the eye.
Howard: Yep, it's time.

Quote from the episode The Neonatal Nomenclature

Raj: What about Sherman? Like, Sherman Wolowitz.
Leonard: Yeah, that's a kid who's gonna take his mother to prom.
Amy: Hey, Howard, you did that, right?
Howard: I didn't take her. She chaperoned. (chuckles) We slow-danced once.

Quote from the episode The Neonatal Nomenclature

Penny: You know, I always thought Christian was a nice name.
Howard: I don't know. Sounds a little too uncircumcised.

Quote from the episode The Neonatal Nomenclature

Howard: Are there any engineers on the grant committee?
Amy: I don't know. Why?
Howard: I didn't have time to figure out the three-input hydraulic manifold, so this diagram is really just a flux capacitor from Back to the Future.

Quote from the episode The Neonatal Nomenclature

Leonard: So, any day now.
Howard: Oh, I don't know. We went to the doctor this morning, and she said it could still be another week or two.
Raj: How's Bernadette holding up?
Howard: It's pretty rough. She's having a hard time.
Leonard: Why are you smiling? I had sex twice last night.
Raj: That's not fair! She's on bed rest. She can't run away.
Howard: It was her idea. She read that it can start labor.
Raj: Hmm. Is that true?
Howard: Well, I would have Googled it, but I was busy taking my pants off.

Quote from the episode The Neonatal Nomenclature

Howard: I'm not gonna fight her. That kid's head was the size of a cantaloupe.

Quote from the episode The Neonatal Nomenclature

Howard: Honey, babies don't always come on their due date. Halley was two weeks late. [seeing Bernadette's stare] But this baby's a boy. They don't take as long to get ready.

Quote from the episode The Novelization Correlation

Sheldon: So you're saying everyone walks on eggshells to spare my feelings?
Howard: No, of course not, because we don't want to hear you complain about how much you hate the sound of crunching eggshells.

Quote from the episode The Novelization Correlation

Sheldon: I just learned some very distressing news. Sometimes, Amy doesn't do things because she's worried about how I'll react.
Howard: First of all, it's not sometimes, it's always.
Raj: Second, it's not Amy, it's everybody.
Howard: And third, it's not news, it's well-established.

Quote from the episode The Novelization Correlation

Sheldon: I know that you were on Wil's show, and I know why you didn't tell me.
Howard: Do you?
Sheldon: Because you were afraid that I would be difficult and annoying about it.
Howard: (chuckles) I hope your book has a twist as surprising as that.
Leonard: It doesn't.

Quote from the episode The Novelization Correlation

Sheldon: Howard, I want you to know that I forgive you.
Howard: I'll take it.
Leonard: What's he forgiving you for?
Howard: Don't care. Clean slate. Happy Yom Kippur to me.

Quote from the episode The Novelization Correlation

Leonard: And then, when the lights come back on in the supercollider room, Dr. Logan Dean makes two important discoveries, gluino (gruffly) and murder.
Howard: Oh, gluino. That's exciting.
Leonard: (gruffly) And murder.
Howard: (gruffly) I heard you. The first time.

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