Howard Wolowitz Quotes Page 2 of 68

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Quote from the episode The Reclusive Potential

Raj: Sheldon's right. This guy, this guy's brilliant.
Howard: Yeah, I mean, he's a little kooky, but a mind that can reconceptualize time probably has a reason for keeping a jar of toenail clippings that we just don't understand.

Quote from the episode The Reclusive Potential

Raj: You understanding any of this?
Howard: I haven't understood anything since poop tomato.

Quote from the episode The Reclusive Potential

Raj: What is so exciting?
Sheldon: It's a letter from Dr. Wolcott. We've been corresponding about my string theory research.
Leonard: Wait. Robert Wolcott? Like Wolcott's Theorem Wolcott?
Sheldon: The very same.
Raj: Didn't he go crazy and cut off all contact with people?
Howard: Yeah, he was driven mad by a friend who kept wanting to talk about the Hulk's car insurance!

Quote from the episode The Reclusive Potential

Raj: If Bruce Banner's driving a rental car and turns into the Hulk, do you think he's covered, or does he need to add the Hulk as an additional driver?
Howard: You really need a girlfriend.

Quote from the episode The Tenant Disassociation

Howard: Can't believe you got her number.
Raj: I know, right? How amazing would it be if this worked out and the story of how I met my wife started with you and me in the hot tub together.
Howard: Well, do us both a favor and start the story later.

Quote from the episode The Tenant Disassociation

Howard: But this time-
Stuart: It was me. Yeah. I was trying out a flirty new smile.
Howard: Now, I don't use the word "ghoulish" a lot, but I-I just can't think of another word.

Quote from the episode The Tenant Disassociation

Howard: Do you see anything that could help us locate her?
Bernadette: Hmm, let me have a look.
Howard: She's got eagle eyes, always spotting continuity errors in movies. (chuckles) It's not annoying at all.

Quote from the episode The Tenant Disassociation

Raj: Oh, this is the life. What could be better than this?
Howard: If you weren't wearing one of my swimsuits.
Raj: I'll give it back.
Howard: (chuckles) You know the rule. Once it touches hiney, it's no longer miney.

Quote from the episode The Tenant Disassociation

Sheldon: No, that means it's Chinese food night.
Penny: Yeah, and you have Chinese food. So eat it.
Sheldon: But I can smell your pastrami.
Howard: And we can all hear your complaining, so no one's happy.

Quote from the episode The Gates Excitation

Bernadette: Amy made me realize that new mothers are cognitively primed to take in new information, and I've been wasting it making up songs about our babies' toes.
Howard: To be fair, I cowrote "Pinky Toe, Pinky Toe."

Quote from the episode The Athenaeum Allocation

Howard: Everyone's asleep. You want to head upstairs and (giggles) you know.
Bernadette: Let's just do it right here.
Howard: Oh, oh, I like the way you think. [They move a plate away, and both put their heads down to sleep]

Quote from the episode The Athenaeum Allocation

Howard: Well, I love the kids, but I also love my job. And sleep.
Bernadette: I know. I took a two-hour nap on the couch in my office.
Howard: I took a three-hour nap on the floor in the living room.
Bernadette: How do you feel now?
Howard: Honestly? Still tired.
Bernadette: Me, too.

Quote from the episode The Athenaeum Allocation

Bernadette: Why is Raj asleep on our couch?
Howard: Oh. I needed some help so he came by, played with the kids, read them some stories, put them down for their nap and made dinner.
Bernadette: What'd you do?
Howard: Ate dinner.

Quote from the episode The Athenaeum Allocation

Howard: Bernadette's gonna be home soon. We got to divide and conquer. I'll make dinner. You watch the kids.
Raj: Uh, kids are asleep.
Howard: Great, then you make dinner.

Quote from the episode The Athenaeum Allocation

Howard: You know, in fact, why don't you take the day off?
Bernadette: Mm, fine. Maybe I'll have lunch with Penny.
Howard: Take your time. Get a massage. You deserve it after all the sleep you've been getting.

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