Sheldon: You can't be Professor Proton. You're not a scientist.
Wil Wheaton: Well, I was never on a starship, but pretending I was bought me this house. And if I'd pretended a little longer, it would have a swimming pool.

Sheldon: I'll give you one more chance to bow out.
Wil Wheaton: Or what?
Sheldon: When we first met, we were enemies, but we worked through that and we became friends. Do you really want to go back?
Wil Wheaton: Honestly, it doesn't feel very different.

Wil Wheaton: [on TV] It's time for Professor Proton's science joke of the day. Why can you not trust atoms?
Sheldon: Hmm.
Wil Wheaton: [on TV] Because they make up everything.
Sheldon: Oh, that's funny! Yeah, because they do. They make up everything.

Sheldon: I'm just a regular guy, with a regular enemies list. Which, by the way, you are no longer on.
Wil Wheaton: Really? Well, that is something. It's not something that I care about, but it is something.

Wil Wheaton: Well, that is our show for today. And I want to say a very special thank you to Dr. Amy Fowler for being here. It was a real pleasure having you.
Amy: And you can feel that pleasure because you don't have a lesion in your nucleus accumbens.
Wil Wheaton: I really hope I don't.

Wil Wheaton: So, we finally meet.
Mark Hamill: I'm sorry, who are you?
Wil Wheaton: (scoffs) I'm Wil Wheaton. I was supposed to officiate this wedding. I was up all night preparing these notes.
Mark Hamill: Well, thanks so much. It's gonna be a great help.

Wil Wheaton: All right, Professor Proton fans, get ready to meet Dr. Sheldon Cooper and Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler, a pair of real-life scientists who may win the Nobel Prize. That's like the Kids' Choice Award, but with more science and less slime.

Wil Wheaton: So you two have discovered something that a lot of people are really excited about.
Amy: We have.
Wil Wheaton: Now, before you explain it, keep in mind that our average viewer is this many.

Wil Wheaton: Now's not a good time, Sheldon.
Sheldon: For what?
Wil Wheaton: You.

Wil Wheaton: No offence, but I've been acting since I was a kid. I think I can handle a web show without a lot of direction.

Wil Wheaton: Hey, Sheldon. I just wanted you to know I'm really looking forward to wiping the floor with you.

Wil Wheaton: No. All of you. You're just trying to use me to get close to my famous friends. Do you know how that makes me feel?
Howard: Flattered?
Wil Wheaton: Used.
Sheldon: I was gonna guess that.
Wil Wheaton: One of the worst things about being a celebrity is you never know if people like you for you. Well, thanks for letting me know.

Wil Wheaton: I told you, this guy is gold!

Wil Wheaton: This documentary is going to be awesome!

Mark Hamill: Do you (clears throat)- Do you-
Wil Wheaton: Hey, I'm just saying, I'm here if you need me to step in.
Mark Hamill: No, no, no. I got this.