Sheldon: You are effectively paying yourself five dollars and nineteen cents a day.
Penny: A day?
Sheldon: There are children working in sneaker factories in Indonesia who out-earn you.

Penny: Well, it's a little juvenile. I mean, it kind of looks like the MySpace page of a 13-year-old girl.
Leonard: No, it doesn't.
Howard: Please, Dateline could use it to attract predators.

Penny: Here, this will help.
Sheldon: Very well, but if this leads to opiates or hallucinogenics, you're going to have to answer to my mother.

Sheldon: Everything is better with Bluetooth.

Sheldon: Just to be clear here, you're asking for my assistance.
Penny: Yes.
Sheldon: And you understand that will involve me telling you what to do?
Penny: I understand.
Sheldon: And you're not allowed to be sarcastic or snide to me while I'm doing so.
Penny: Okay.
Sheldon: Good. Let's begin with the premise that everything you've done up to this point is wrong.
Penny: Oh, imagine that.
Sheldon: Sarcasm. Good-bye.
Penny: No, sorry. Wait, please come back.

Leonard: Sheldon, we still have 380 of these things to make.
Sheldon: I have complete faith that you will make them. Good night.
Penny: Leonard?
Leonard: Yeah, no. But, Sheldon, without your insight and leadership this entire enterprise will surely fail.
Sheldon: You're right, of course.

Sheldon: I'm sorry, coffee's out of the question. When I moved to California I promised my mother that I wouldn't start doing drugs.

Sheldon: All right, ten dollars a day times five days a week, times 52 weeks a year is two thousand six hundred dollars.
Penny: That's all?
Sheldon: Before taxes.
Penny: Well, I don't have to pay taxes on this stuff.
Sheldon: I believe the Internal Revenue Service would strongly disagree.

Howard: Hey, you know what'd be a great idea? We get some girls over here and play Laser Obstacle Strip Chess.
Leonard: Believe me, Howard, any girl who would be willing to play that, you don't want to see naked.
Howard: You underestimate me.

Sheldon: Okay, that, right there, that equivocation and self-doubt, that is not the American spirit. Did Davy Crockett quit at the Alamo? Did Jim Bowie?
Howard: They didn't quit. They were massacred by, like, a gazillion angry Mexicans.

Wolowitz: Oh, stop it with the fake third world crap. Your father is a gynecologist and you had a house full of servants.
Raj: We only had four servants, and two of them were children.

Penny: Oh, I love San Francisco. I wish I was going with you.
Sheldon: I understand your envy. This is a can't miss symposium. There are going to be discussions on bio-organic cellular computer devices, the advancements in multi-threaded task completion, plus a round table on the non-equilibrium Green's function approach to the photoionization process in atoms.
Penny: When I go, I usually just get hammered and ride the cable cars.

Penny: We're putting the play on for one night in this little 99-seat theater. Can you come? Oh great! Do you know 98 other people that might want to come?

Leonard: But look, Penny's home. Why don't we just call her, have her go in the apartment, get your flash drive and e-mail you the paper?
Sheldon: But the flash drive is in a locked drawer in my desk.
Leonard: So?
Sheldon: The key is hidden in my room.
Leonard: So?
Sheldon: Penny would have to go into my room.
Leonard: So?
Sheldon: People don't go in my room!

Sheldon: I'm confused. I thought you were involved in some sort of socially intimate pairing with Leslie Winkle.
Howard: Sheldon, let me explain to you how this works.
Sheldon: All right.
Howard: That's Summer Glau.
Sheldon: Yes.
Howard: That's it.