Season 11 Quotes Page 1 of 87

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Quote from Bernadette in the episode The Relaxation Integration

Bernadette: One of the great things about being pregnant is drinking cranberry juice out of a wineglass and watching people freak out.

Quote from Bernadette in the episode The Retraction Reaction

Bernadette: At the office, I have two assistants! I don't even know their names. I just call them Thing 1 and Thing 2.
Amy: I don't have assistants.
Bernadette: I guess that's one of the benefits of being in the private sector. That and all the money I make!

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Novelization Correlation

Amy: So, you're just gonna sit here by yourself and do nothing?
Sheldon: Of course not. I'm going to write mean comments about Wil's show online.
Amy: Well, you can't criticize something you haven't seen.
Sheldon: I'm sorry, are you familiar with the Internet?

Quote from Bernadette in the episode The Neonatal Nomenclature

Howard: Bernie, this is our kid's name. I think we should both agree.
Bernadette: You're right. We both made this baby.
Howard: Thank you.
Bernadette: And I carried it, had to stay in bed for four months, sacrificed my body and my job, and soon it's gonna burst its way out of me like the Kool-Aid Man.
Howard: Exactly. Fifty-fifty.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Monetary Insufficiency

Sheldon: Wow! You look beautiful.
Amy: Really? 'Cause I was gonna return it.
Sheldon: Why would you return it? You look like a pile of swans.

Quote from Barry Kripke in the episode The Bow Tie Asymmetry

Barry Kripke: At wast, my wove has come awong, my wonewy days are over, and wife is wike a song, oh, yeah.

Quote from Leonard in the episode The Retraction Reaction

Leonard: Oh, hi, you wanted to see me?
Ms. Davis: Yes. I wanted to talk to you about the e-mail you sent me last night.
Leonard: I sent you an e-mail?
Ms. Davis: You bet you did. "Hello. Shalom and aloha from the grave of Richard Feynman."
Leonard: (groans) Oh, it's coming back to me.
Ms. Davis: "Please accept the following retraction: I know I said physics is dead, but it is the opposite of dead. If anything, it is undead, like a zombie. Speaking of which, if Richard Feynman came back as a zombie, I would totally let him bite me."
Leonard: Any chance that's the end?
Ms. Davis: "I got bit by a squirrel once. I had to get rabies shots. I cried so much, my mother said 'don't be a baby'. In conclusion, physics is great. Squirrels suck, and someday, I'm gonna put my mom in a cheap nursing home. Yours truly, XOXO, Dr. Leonard Hofstadter."
Leonard: I-I-I can explain.
Ms. Davis: "P.S Can you come pick us up? The Uber driver won't open the door because Sheldon is covered in blue vomit."

Quote from Stuart in the episode The Bitcoin Entanglement

Sheldon: Oh, Stuart, good. I was wondering, will you be accepting Bitcoin?
Stuart: Well, I don't know what that is, but it's got "coin" in it, and my cash register doesn't, so yeah.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Bow Tie Asymmetry

Sheldon: Amy, I usually know exactly what to say. But in this moment I have no words.
I guess I'm overwhelmed by you. In a good way. Not in the elevator in the Haunted Mansion way. Even if I can't tell you now how I feel, I will spend my life showing you how much I love you.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Confidence Erosion

Sheldon: Sorry, but when you make a discovery like this, you don't just take it down to City Hall. You tell the whole world. And so I'll say it in Latin or Klingon or smoke signals, if that's not cultural appropriation.
Amy: It is.
Sheldon: Okay, so not smoke signals.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Geology Methodology

Sheldon: They're very different. Physics answers the question: what is the nature of the universe? Geology answers the question: you know, what'd I just trip over?

Quote from Howard in the episode The Solo Oscillation

Howard: (singing) Alone in my temple in the middle of Peru, A giant stone ball with nothing to do,
Raj: But if you steal my idol, I will roll right over you
All: Cause I'm six tons of granite, And micaceous schist. Yeah, I'm six tons of granite, And micaceous schist,
Bert: I'm gonna crush you, I'm gonna mush you, You took my idol, I'm homicidal, Gonna roll over you till your brains come out, And your bones will crunch and your blood will spout! I'm not just a rock, baby. I'm a boulder.
All: Cause I'm six tons of granite, And micaceous schist. Yeah, I'm six tons of granite, And micaceous schist, Yeah, I'm six tons of granite-

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Relaxation Integration

Penny: Is it possible that you're stressed because you're scared about getting married? I mean, it is a big change, and you're not good with little changes.
Sheldon: Well, that's nonsense. You name one little change I was upset with.
Penny: Uh, when they changed the green Skittle from lime to apple.
Sheldon: That is not the rainbow I grew up tasting.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Relaxation Integration

Sheldon: I call this meeting of the Council of Sheldons to order. Let's take roll. Science Sheldon?
Science Sheldon: Present.
Sheldon: Texas Sheldon?
Texas Sheldon: Howdy.
Sheldon: Fanboy Sheldon?
Fanboy Sheldon: Greetings.
Sheldon: Germaphobe Sheldon?
Germaphobe Sheldon: Say it, don't spray it.
Humorous Sheldon: Where's Jock Sheldon?
Sheldon: Not the time, Humorous Sheldon!

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Proton Regeneration

Sheldon: Until next week, this is Professor Proton saying, 01000010 01111001 01100101. That's "Bye" in ASCII binary, or good-binary.

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