Season 11 Quotes Page 1 of 87
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Amy: So, you're just gonna sit here by yourself and do nothing?
Sheldon: Of course not. I'm going to write mean comments about Wil's show online.
Amy: Well, you can't criticize something you haven't seen.
Sheldon: I'm sorry, are you familiar with the Internet?
Bernadette: At the office, I have two assistants! I don't even know their names. I just call them Thing 1 and Thing 2.
Amy: I don't have assistants.
Bernadette: I guess that's one of the benefits of being in the private sector. That and all the money I make!
Barry Kripke: At wast, my wove has come awong, my wonewy days are over, and wife is wike a song, oh, yeah.
Bernadette: One of the great things about being pregnant is drinking cranberry juice out of a wineglass and watching people freak out.
Howard: Bernie, this is our kid's name. I think we should both agree.
Bernadette: You're right. We both made this baby.
Howard: Thank you.
Bernadette: And I carried it, had to stay in bed for four months, sacrificed my body and my job, and soon it's gonna burst its way out of me like the Kool-Aid Man.
Howard: Exactly. Fifty-fifty.
Sheldon: Sorry, but when you make a discovery like this, you don't just take it down to City Hall. You tell the whole world. And so I'll say it in Latin or Klingon or smoke signals, if that's not cultural appropriation.
Amy: It is.
Sheldon: Okay, so not smoke signals.
Sheldon: Amy, I usually know exactly what to say. But in this moment I have no words.
I guess I'm overwhelmed by you. In a good way. Not in the elevator in the Haunted Mansion way. Even if I can't tell you now how I feel, I will spend my life showing you how much I love you.
Raj: Are you saying that you don't believe two people fall in love?
Ruchi: Of course they do. It's just that what people call "love" is actually a series of biochemical reactions in the brain that fade over time.
Raj: Yes. Like the old song, "When a man has a biochemical reaction for a woman."
Sheldon: Until next week, this is Professor Proton saying, 01000010 01111001 01100101. That's "Bye" in ASCII binary, or good-binary.
Sheldon: No, the campus isn't safe at night. There's raccoons and undergrads just walking around like they own the place.
Amy: So are you feeling okay? No wedding jitters?
Sheldon: No. There is nothing in the world that would stop me from marrying you tomorrow, even me from the future coming back to prevent the wedding and the subsequent birth of a child who will destroy humanity.
Amy: Because if you came from the future, that would mean you already went through with the wedding because you believe that time travel is on a closed loop.
Sheldon: I love you so damn much.
Penny: No, I've been reading Bernadette's parenting book. It's like the answer key to the Sheldon test.
Sheldon: Wow! You look beautiful.
Amy: Really? 'Cause I was gonna return it.
Sheldon: Why would you return it? You look like a pile of swans.
Howard: Look, I I can see you're upset, but I'm gonna need some ground rules. I mean, while we're apart, can I see other needy Indian men?
Penny: Leonard thinks when we broke up, it didn't bother me.
Zack: That's crazy. When we were going out, she used to talk about you all the time. In fact, I think she only dated me because I reminded her of you.
Leonard: Sure. Because we're both people?
Zack: Damn right we are.