Mary Cooper: I am so happy for you two, but I'm not surprised. I've been praying for this.
Sheldon: Well, God had nothing to do with it. It happened because I was kissing another woman, and it made me realize I wanted to be with Amy.
Mary Cooper: More than one woman was interested in you? I might have prayed a little too hard.

Neil Gaiman: You know, if you're interested in alternate histories, Neil Gaiman wrote one called 1602.
Sheldon: I'm sorry, we're in the middle of something here.
Neil Gaiman: It is pretty good, actually. He takes the Marvel superheroes and he puts them into Elizabethan England.
Sheldon: Let me guess, everyone thinks the X-Men are witches.
Neil Gaiman: Yeah.

Leonard: What about Wonder Woman's bracelets?
Raj: Good point. Strong as a metal and fierce as a fashion choice.
Neil Gaiman: You know, Thor's hammer's pretty powerful, and in the comics, it's made out of enchanted uru.
Stuart: Uh, yeah, I think it's the enchantment that's powerful, not the uru, but, uh, thanks for playing.

Sheldon: You know, I also have a date tonight. But don't worry, it's not another woman. It's string theory.

Raj: Uh, you know, my secret to making great omelets is that I beat the egg whites separately. Speaking of which, how long have you been separated? Speaking of which, how long have you been separated?
Nell: About two weeks.
Raj: That is not a lot of weeks. In fact, that's the bare minimum to get to the plural "weeks".

Howard: (singing) Alone in my temple in the middle of Peru, A giant stone ball with nothing to do,
Raj: But if you steal my idol, I will roll right over you
All: Cause I'm six tons of granite, And micaceous schist. Yeah, I'm six tons of granite, And micaceous schist,
Bert: I'm gonna crush you, I'm gonna mush you, You took my idol, I'm homicidal, Gonna roll over you till your brains come out, And your bones will crunch and your blood will spout! I'm not just a rock, baby. I'm a boulder.
All: Cause I'm six tons of granite, And micaceous schist. Yeah, I'm six tons of granite, And micaceous schist, Yeah, I'm six tons of granite-

Mark Hamill: Amy, do you take Sheldon for your lawful wedded husband?
Amy: I do.
Mark Hamill: (high-pitched) And, Sheldon, same thing.
Sheldon: I do.
Mark Hamill: Then by the power vested in me by EvenYouCanPerformWeddings.com, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride.

Barry Kripke: At wast, my wove has come awong, my wonewy days are over, and wife is wike a song, oh, yeah.

Mark Hamill: We're here to celebrate the marriage of Sheldon Lee Cooper and Amy Farrah Fowler. I had more prepared, but I'm just gonna skip to the rings and vows, since I've been answering your questions for 45 minutes.
Stuart: Yeah, he answered 'em.

Sheldon: Leonard. That's Mark Ha-Ha-Ha. It's-it's Mark Hami-Ha-Ha-
Leonard: Yep. Thank Wolowitz. He set it up.

Mark Hamill: Do you (clears throat)- Do you-
Wil Wheaton: Hey, I'm just saying, I'm here if you need me to step in.
Mark Hamill: No, no, no. I got this.

Mark Hamill: Welcome. We are gathered here today in the sight of family, friends and Almighty God.
Sheldon: That's too religious.
Mark Hamill: That lady over there made me say it.
Mary: He heard you, and he can't un-hear you.

Mark Hamill: Well, that was unexpectedly beautiful. (sniffles) I might need a minute.

Amy: Sheldon, when I was a little girl, I used to dream about my wedding. But, eventually, I stopped, because I thought that day would never come. And then I met you. From the first moment in that coffee shop, I knew that there was something special between us, even though I did work on a study that disproved love at first sight.
Sheldon: I loved that study the moment I read it. Ironic, huh?
Amy: Clearly, it was wrong. Because I felt something that day, and those feelings have only gotten stronger with time. I can't imagine loving you more than I do right now.
But I felt that way yesterday and the day before yesterday and the day before that.
Sheldon: Is that growth linear or accelerating?
Amy: Accelerating.
Sheldon: Oh, maybe we could graph it out.
Leonard: Save something for the honeymoon.
Sheldon: Smart.
Amy: Sheldon, I don't know what the future holds, but I know that I've never been happier than I am in this moment marrying you.

Sheldon: Amy, I usually know exactly what to say. But in this moment I have no words.
I guess I'm overwhelmed by you. In a good way. Not in the elevator in the Haunted Mansion way. Even if I can't tell you now how I feel, I will spend my life showing you how much I love you.