Season 12 Quotes Page 1 of 36
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Raj: Sounds like someone's in there.
Bernadette: My God, what if Sheldon and Amy are getting robbed?
Howard: Or worse, what if they're back early?
Penny: You know, you compared us to the strangest couple we know, and we know Amy and Sheldon, Howard and Bernadette, Raj and his twitchy little dog.
Amy: How's this for a compromise? Make all the schedules you want, just don't tell me about them.
Sheldon: Excellent. I'll create an algorithm that'll generate a pseudo-random schedule.
Yeah, and do you know why it won't be a true random schedule?
Amy: Because the generation of true random numbers remains an unsolved problem in computer science.
Sheldon: Come with me.
Amy: Where are we going?
Sheldon: To the hotel room. And when we get there, I'm gonna need you to say that again, except naked.
Amy: Well, Leonard and Penny are our best friends. They know us better than anyone. They said it's the perfect gift. We must be missing something. You don't think it's a marital aid, do you?
Sheldon: Don't be silly. Amy, how is this big glass shaft going to aid our marriage?
Amy: Let's just go to sleep. We'll look at it in the morning with fresh eyes, and maybe it'll come to us.
Amy: Or we go tear apart that box and look for a clue.
Sheldon: Staying up past my bedtime and solving mysteries? Who knew married life could be this good?
Sheldon: Howard, I don't often say this, but, good, you're here.
Sheldon: Now, do you know what Leonard and Penny got us for our wedding gift?
Sheldon: Don't answer. I don't want to know. I just want to know if you know.
Howard: I do know.
Sheldon: Okay, great. I believe that Amy and I have figured it out. Is it a clue to a scavenger hunt that will lead us to the actual present?
Howard: If you're asking if you and Amy should spend the next couple days running all over town searching for the next clue, I'm gonna have to say yes.
Sheldon: I knew it! This is so much fun.
Howard: Oh, it really is.
Dr. Koothrappali: Hello?
Raj: Hey, Dad.
Dr. Koothrappali: Rajesh. What a nice surprise, calling me on my birthday.
Raj: Yes. That's why I'm calling. And-and what better gift to give you than the gift of marrying an Indian woman, just like you've always wanted.
Dr. Koothrappali: My goodness, Rajesh, this is exciting news. Who is she?
Raj: You tell me.
Dr. Koothrappali: What?
Raj: I want you to arrange a marriage for me. I'm just so tired of being single, and I'm finally just I'm-I'm ready to settle down.
Dr. Koothrappali: I can't just call up some girl's dad and make her marry you. It's-it's not 2015 anymore.
Amy: We wrote you a special thank you note.
Penny: Are those words?
Sheldon: No. It's a secret code that you two get to figure out together.
Amy: Hint: it's based on Sanskrit, but not the Sanskrit you're thinking of. (laughs)
Sheldon: And best of all, you can't use the Internet to cheat.
Amy: Because we locked you out of your Wi-Fi, and the answer to this is your new password.
Leonard: I'm no longer happy.
Quote from the episode The Wedding Gift Wormhole
Stuart: Do you still want to go out with me?
Denise: Absolutely. Hey, maybe we can go find Nemo together.
Stuart: That's a good one.
Denise: Do your 63 other crayon friends know you're out?
Stuart: Are you just gonna make fun of me all night?
Stuart: Great. So what are we thinking, Chinese?
Denise: Yeah, I'm in the mood for orange chicken.
Amy: Hey. Wait a minute, what about us? I mean, we're married now. Maybe we want to buy the house next door.
Sheldon: Well, Amy, we can't move. I'd have to change all the tags in my underwear.
Amy: You can buy new ones.
Sheldon: New house, new underwear. What am I, in the Witness Protection Program?
Amy: You're really letting your father pick out a wife?
Raj: Why not? Arranged marriages have been working for thousands of years. Anu and I come from similar backgrounds, our families get along and we each filled out questionnaires, so we know we're not wasting our time with someone who's not compatible.
Penny: Oh, that sounds so dry and clinical.
Sheldon: You lucky duck.
Howard: Enjoying your book?
Bernadette: So much.
Howard: Why do you keep poking at it?
Bernadette: Fine, I'm shopping on my phone.
Howard: You're the one who said you wanted to read more.
Bernadette: Yes, I also tell people I only feed the kids organic. It's just stuff you say.
Leonard: Next question. Uh, "how close are you with your family?"
Penny: Pretty close.
Leonard: I'm gonna say not too close, but I'm hoping to get farther.
Leonard: "How are you with pets?" Well, I did take care of Sheldon for 15 years, and he only bit me twice.