Season 2 Quotes Page 1 of 46
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Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Lizard-Spock Expansion
Sheldon: Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates lizard, lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporizes rock, and as it always has, rock crushes scissors.
Quote from Stuart in the episode The Hofstadter Isotope
Stuart: Oh, Sheldon, I'm afraid you couldn't be more wrong.
Sheldon: More wrong? Wrong is an absolute state and not subject to gradation.
Stuart: Of course it is. It's a little wrong to say a tomato is a vegetable, it's very wrong to say it's a suspension bridge.
Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Griffin Equivalency
Howard: Sheldon, don't take this the wrong way, but, you're insane.
Leonard: That may well be, but the fact is it wouldn't kill us to meet some new people.
Sheldon: For the record, it could kill us to meet new people. They could be murderers or the carriers of unusual pathogens. And I'm not insane, my mother had me tested.
Quote from Penny in the episode The Panty Pinata Polarization
Sheldon: Woman, you are playing with forces beyond your ken.
Penny: Yeah, well your Ken can kiss my Barbie.
Quote from Mrs. Wolowitz in the episode The Killer Robot Instability
Mrs. Wolowitz Should I ask Leonard to bring over your homework?
Howard: I don't have homework. I'm a grown man with a master's degree in engineering.
Mrs. Wolowitz Excuse me, Mr. Fancy Pants. Want me to get you a popsicle?
Quote from Leonard in the episode The Griffin Equivalency
Leonard: We're here to see Koothrappali, not kill Batman.
Quote from Raj in the episode The Monopolar Expedition
Raj: Well, I'm a Hindu. My religion teaches that if we suffer in this life we are rewarded in the next. Three months at the North Pole with Sheldon and I'm reborn as a well-hung billionaire with wings.
Quote from Raj in the episode The Cooper-Nowitzki Theorem
Raj: Isn't there a policy against dating graduate students?
Leonard: No, if you can talk to them, you can ask them out.
Raj: Damn, there's always a catch.
Quote from Howard in the episode The Dead Hooker Juxtaposition
Wolowitz: Penny, let me take this opportunity to point out that you are looking particularly ravishing today.
Penny: Not with a thousand condoms, Howard.
Wolowitz: So there is a number.
Quote from Barry Kripke in the episode The Killer Robot Instability
Barry Kripke: We're all pathetic and creepy, and can't get girls. That's why we fight robots.
Quote from Howard in the episode The Financial Permeability
Leonard: OK, is everyone clear on the plan?
Howard: Yes, Koothrappali's going to wet himself, I'm gonna throw up, Sheldon's gonna run away and you're going to die. Shall we synchronize our watches?
Quote from Penny in the episode The Cushion Saturation
Howard: [looking at his caller ID] Ooh, looks like I'm gonna have sex tonight. [answering phone] Hey, baby...
Penny: His right hand is calling him?
Quote from Mrs. Wolowitz in the episode The Bad Fish Paradigm
Mrs. Wolowitz What's going on? Are you boys roughhousing?
Howard: We're just talking, ma.
Mrs. Wolowitz If you don't settle down right now, I'm not going to let you have any more sleepovers.
Quote from Howard in the episode The Panty Pinata Polarization
Wolowitz: If it's "creepy" to use the Internet, military satellites, and robot aircraft to find a house full of gorgeous young models so I can drop in on them unexpected, then fine, I'm "creepy".
Quote from Howard in the episode The Killer Robot Instability
Mrs. Wolowitz: Want me to get you a popsicle?
Howard: Cherry, please!
Mrs. Wolowitz: I ate the cherry. All that's left is green.
Howard: You make me wanna kill myself!
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