Season 9 Quotes Page 1 of 73
Quote from Amy in the episode The Opening Night Excitation
Amy: Okay, what is going on?
Penny: We just want you to be prepared for any surprises that could happen tomorrow.
Amy: What surprises?
Bernadette: We don't want to spoil anything, but you should know that Sheldon said he's ready to be physical.
Amy: You shut your damn mouth! You actually heard him say this?
Penny: Yes, he said he wants to do something to show you how much you mean to him.
Amy: I can't believe it. I don't know what to say.
Bernadette: Well, we're really happy for you and we know how much-
Amy: I do know what to say. Let's get me waxed!
Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Separation Oscillation
Leonard: I'm not being weird. Am I being weird?
Sheldon: Yes. And that's coming from me.
Quote from Amy in the episode The Matrimonial Momentum
Amy: Hold on. You're getting married and you didn't invite me?
Penny: It was kind of a spur of the moment thing.
Amy: Wow. Hope I can catch the bouquet from here.
Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Opening Night Excitation
Sheldon: Oh, I should probably tell you something about this gift.
Amy: You mean, before you give it to me?
Sheldon: Yes. But may I ask you a question before I give it to you?
Amy: Of course.
Sheldon: Why are we saying give it to you like that?
Quote from Penny in the episode The Earworm Reverberation
Penny: So you have a song stuck in your head. It happens to everybody.
Sheldon: Well, I'm not everybody. I have an eidetic memory. I should be able to remember what song this is, but I can't. Something's wrong with me.
Penny: I told you if we were patient, he'd figure it out for himself.
Quote from Leonard in the episode The Matrimonial Momentum
Leonard: Penny. We are made of particles that have existed since the moment the universe began. I like to think those atoms traveled fourteen billion years through time and space to create us, so that we could be together and make each other whole.
Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Opening Night Excitation
Sheldon: Then it's settled. Amy's birthday present will be my genitals.
Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Separation Oscillation
Sheldon: Thankfully all the things my girlfriend used to do can be taken care of with my right hand.
Quote from Leonard in the episode The Earworm Reverberation
Sheldon: This song is never going to stop. Have you ever dealt with something so relentlessly irritating?
Leonard: That's a trick question, right?
Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Opening Night Excitation
Sheldon: (3 knocks) Penny! (3 knocks) Penny! (3 knocks) Penny!
Bernadette: What happens if I say come in?
Penny: Well, find out.
Bernadette: Come in!
Sheldon: (silence)
(3 knocks) Bernadette! (3 knocks) Bernadette! (3 knocks) Bernadette!
Penny: Come in!
Sheldon: Keep it up. I've got nowhere else to be.
Bernadette: Just come in.
Sheldon: For future reference, if I want to watch Mean Girls, I'll just stream it on Netflix.
Quote from Mary Cooper in the episode The Convergence Convergence
Mary Cooper: So who else is coming to this shindig?
Amy: Oh, well, the usual gang. Penny's family is coming tomorrow.
Sheldon: Yeah, and Leonards mother's already here.
Mary Cooper: Oh. Beverly. How nice.
Amy: You've met her, right?
Mary Cooper: Yes, I have. (reveals her cross necklace)
Sheldon: Mother, she's an atheist, not a vampire.
Mary Cooper: Either way, let's stop and get some garlic.
Quote from Leonard in the episode The Earworm Reverberation
Sheldon: I remember the song! It's called "Darlin'" by the Beach Boys! Oh, thank goodness! I'm not crazy! I don't have to take a pigeon as my bride!
Leonard: There goes our shot at him living on the roof.
Quote from Professor Proton in the episode The Opening Night Excitation
Professor Proton: Oh, great, this again.
Quote from Amy in the episode The Positive Negative Reaction
Penny: Oh, it's Leonard. He says Sheldon's drunk and they're gonna do karaoke if we want to join them.
Penny: That sounds fun.
Amy: Oh, no. Sheldon's drunk texting me.
Bernadette: What's it say?
Amy: "Would you like to sing karaoke with us."
Bernadette: How is that a drunk text?
Amy: He used a period instead of a question mark. He's so wasted.
Quote from Bernadette in the episode The Opening Night Excitation
Penny: Okay, let's just recap our options. We've got harp thing, sheep thing-
Bernadette: Wild thang.
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