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Quote from Amy in the episode The Convergence Convergence

Mary Cooper: So, Alfred, what is it that you do for a living?
Alfred Hofstadter: Oh, I'm an anthropologist. I study ancient peoples and cultures.
Mary Cooper: My goodness, so all the way back to the Flood.
Sheldon: Don't laugh, she wasn't joking.
Amy: Play with your phone.

Quote from Amy in the episode The Convergence Convergence

Bernadette: Who's going to officiate?
Penny: I was kind of hoping you would.
Amy: Wait, now I'm just some lousy maid of honor?

Quote from Penny in the episode The Convergence Convergence

Leonard: Hey.
Penny: Hi, how was the screening?
Leonard: Oh, Sheldon invoked Rosa Parks to make somebody who cut the line feel bad, but only the white people felt bad.
Penny: Ugh, I should've never bought him that colouring book that explains Black History Month.

Quote from Mary Cooper in the episode The Convergence Convergence

Mary Cooper: So who else is coming to this shindig?
Amy: Oh, well, the usual gang. Penny's family is coming tomorrow.
Sheldon: Yeah, and Leonards mother's already here.
Mary Cooper: Oh. Beverly. How nice.
Amy: You've met her, right?
Mary Cooper: Yes, I have. (reveals her cross necklace)
Sheldon: Mother, she's an atheist, not a vampire.
Mary Cooper: Either way, let's stop and get some garlic.

Quote from Penny in the episode The Convergence Convergence

Penny: Well, then it's settled. Yay. So funny. I never thought my second marriage would be to you.

Quote from Beverly Hofstadter in the episode The Convergence Convergence

Leonard: And, of course, Mom.
Alfred Hofstadter: Hello, my hateful shrew.
Beverly Hofstadter: Hello to you, you wrinkled old bastard.
Sheldon: All right, now I'm starting to sense a little tension.

Quote from Penny in the episode The Convergence Convergence

Sheldon: She's still not answering.
Leonard: My father's not texting me back.
Penny: 'cause they both turned their phones off.
Sheldon: I don't like this at all.
Leonard: I don't like it either.
Penny: Really? 'cause I love it.

Quote from Amy in the episode The Convergence Convergence

Penny: Okay, so it's not a legal ceremony, it's just a chance for us to redo our vows so everyone can be part of it.
Amy: So there's no maid of honour?
Penny: No.
Amy: Huh. But if I were to, say, wear a purple satin dress with a sweetheart neckline and stand near you, you wouldn't be able to stop me, right?
Penny: I don't see how I could.
Amy: Then I graciously accept.

Quote from other character in the episode The Convergence Convergence

Leonard: Hey, I, I know things are a little rough with you and Mom, but I'm really glad you're here.
Alfred Hofstadter: Me, too. I should have never had that angioplasty because I feel fine.

Quote from Beverly Hofstadter in the episode The Convergence Convergence

Penny: So, what did we miss?
Alfred Hofstadter: Oh, just Mary and I getting to know each other a little.
Mary Cooper: Leonard, your father is just charming.
Beverly Hofstadter: He's also broke. Did he mention that?

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Convergence Convergence

Leonard: What is happening there?
Sheldon: I think it's pretty obvious. They don't want dessert 'cause they filled up on bread.

Quote from Leonard in the episode The Convergence Convergence

Amy: What took you guys so long?
Leonard: Oh, we were following Howard, but for some reason, he turned off his headlights and went up a one-way street.

Quote from other character in the episode The Convergence Convergence

Leonard: Penny's really looking forward to seeing you.
Alfred Hofstadter: Ah, she's a sweetie. You got a good one there, Leonard.
Leonard: Thanks, Dad.
Alfred Hofstadter: How the hell did you do that?

Quote from Beverly Hofstadter in the episode The Convergence Convergence

Penny: Whew, chilly.
Amy: I think I can see my breath.
Beverly Hofstadter: We can hear you.
Penny: Sorry.
Amy: Sorry.

Quote from Mary Cooper in the episode The Convergence Convergence

Alfred Hofstadter: Well, on that note, there are many cultures that have an apocalyptic flood as part of their mythology.
Mary Cooper: I don't have a mythology. I have the unerring Word of God. But that's very interesting.
Alfred Hofstadter: Oh. I, I didn't mean to disparage your faith. Actually, I admire it.
Mary Cooper: Really?
Alfred Hofstadter: Yes. Yes, I'm an agnostic myself. But I have prayed many times to God, to turn my wife into a pillar of salt.
Mary Cooper: Well, He came close. Turned her into a giant block of ice.

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