Bernadette: I had a plan. I kept leaving Dove bar wrappers around to explain any weight gain.
Amy: Where did you get empty Dove bar wrappers?
Bernadette: From all the Dove bars I ate! I'm pregnant! Try to keep up!

Amy: Well, uh, Howard and Bernadette had their baby.
Mary Cooper: (gasps) Oh, that's wonderful! Now, have they decided to raise it Jewish or regular?
Sheldon: Welcome to Texas.

Raj: Can we take a moment to discuss that I just lied to the government for you?
Howard: Yeah, I would not have done that for you.

Amy: I gave you one job! Keep an eye on him. How hard is that?

Bernadette: Still, I can't believe you can turn ordinary skin cells into functioning brain cells.
Amy: Well, I turned this one into a functioning boyfriend, so sky's the limit.

Bernadette: Everyone's a better mom than me.
Raj: Oh, don't take it so personally, maybe your baby's just a jerk.

Amy: Why didn't you tell me?
Bernadette: We didn't want you to worry.
Amy: Should I worry?
Penny: No, come on, it's Sheldon. Nothing is gonna happen.
Amy: That's what you said to me when I started dating him. And then five years later, bingo-bango, something happened.

Raj: Sheldon, what did Amy have that attracted you?
Sheldon: Oh, so many things. Her mind, her kindness, and especially her body.
Raj: Really?
Amy: Relax. We're the same blood type. He knew he could harvest an organ.

Raj: Don't come to the hospital. We're headed home.
Penny: Oh, that was fast. Did she sneeze the baby out?

Sheldon: No, I know, but plenty of things are addictive after a single exposure. I mean, crack cocaine, nicotine, Pringles. You know, once one pops one just can't stop.

Penny: We wouldn't even sit in your spot while you're gone.
Sheldon: You're darn right, you wouldn't. No matter where I am, this will always be my spot. Like an embassy in a foreign country, this seat is the sovereign soil of my bottom.

Sheldon: And just remember, I am proud of you and I support you in all that you do.
Amy: Thank you. That means a lot.
Sheldon: Oh, and one last thing. If you find yourself working with a male scientist who's as smart as me, as tall as me and has hair like Thor, well, then I want you to step away from the situation and call me immediately.

Amy: What is this?
Sheldon: I'm mapping basic topics of conversation and with whom they can be discussed.
I call these circles "Zones of Privacy". Don't Google that unless you want to see pictures of people's genitals.

Howard: What do you think?
Barry Kripke: That ... is ... hilarious! Give me the remote control. I want to drive him into the girls' restroom.
Howard: All right, we're done. It's offensive.

Sheldon: Because there's only one of me, I'm more valuable.
Penny: Right.
Sheldon: Although, Amy's already taken me out of my package and played with me.