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Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Jiminy Conjecture

Raj: I don't like bugs, okay. They freak me out.
Sheldon: Interesting. You're afraid of insects and women. Ladybugs must render you catatonic.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Gorilla Experiment

Sheldon: Why are you crying?
Penny: Because I'm stupid.
Sheldon: That's no reason to cry. One cries because one is sad. For example, I cry because others are stupid, and that makes me sad.

Quote from Zack Johnson in the episode The Lunar Excitation

Zack: One question. How can you be sure it won't blow up?
Leonard: The laser?
Zack: The moon.

Quote from Howard in the episode The Creepy Candy Coating Corollary

Bernadette: Does your mother call you every day at work to see if you had a healthy lunch?
Howard: My mother calls me every day at work to see if I had a healthy bowel movement.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Maternal Congruence

Sheldon: On the contrary I find the Grinch to be a relatable and engaging character. And I was really with him, right up to the point that he succumbed to social convention, returned the presents and saved Christmas.

Quote from Raj in the episode The Precious Fragmentation

Sheldon: One ring to rule them all.
Rajesh: One ring to find them.
Wolowitz: One ring to bring them all.
Leonard: And in the darkness bind them.
Rajesh: Holy crap are we nerdy!

Quote from Mrs. Wolowitz in the episode The Staircase Implementation

Mrs. Wolowitz Howard, are you having a playdate?
Howard: I don't have playdates. I have colleagues.
Mrs. Wolowitz Do their parents know they're here?
Howard: No, but if you keep screaming, maybe they'll hear you.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Maternal Congruence

Sheldon: I made tea.
Leonard: I don't want tea.
Sheldon: I didn't make tea for you. This is my tea.
Leonard: Then why are you telling me?
Sheldon: It's a conversation starter.
Leonard: That's a lousy conversation starter.
Sheldon: Oh, is it? We're conversing. Checkmate.

Quote from Wil Wheaton in the episode The Creepy Candy Coating Corollary

Wil Wheaton: Game over, Moonpie.

Quote from Mary Cooper in the episode The Electric Can Opener Fluctuation

Mary Cooper: Raj is it? Still having trouble talking to the ladies? Because you know at our church we have a woman who's an amazing healer. Mainly she does crutch and wheelchair people. But I bet she'd be willing to take a shot at whatever third-world demon is running around inside of you.

Quote from Raj in the episode The Adhesive Duck Deficiency

Raj: If I could speak the language of rabbits, they would be amazed, and I would be their king.
Leonard: I hate my name. It has 'nerd' in it. 'Len. Nerd.'
Wolowitz: I lost my virginity to my cousin Jeanie.
Raj: I would be kind to my rabbit subjects. At first.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Pants Alternative

Penny: So what do you say Sheldon, are we your X-men?
Sheldon: No, the X-men were named for the X in Charles Xavier. Since I am Sheldon Cooper, you will be my C-men.

Quote from Howard in the episode The Large Hadron Collision

Leonard: What would you guys do if you were me?
Wolowitz: I would take Sheldon to Switzerland.
Leonard: Seriously?
Wolowitz: Absolutely. And I'd leave him there.

Quote from Raj in the episode The Adhesive Duck Deficiency

Wolowitz: You're such a douche
Raj: Who cares? You slept with your cousin!

Quote from Raj in the episode The Pirate Solution

Leonard: I've always been a little confused about this. Why don't Hindus eat beef?
Raj: We believe cows are gods.
Sheldon: Not technically. In Hinduism, cattle are thought to be like God.
Raj: Do not tell me about my own culture, Sheldon! In the mood I'm in, I'll take you out, I swear to cow!

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