Season 9 Quotes Page 1 of 73

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Quote from Sheldon in the episode The 2003 Approximation

Sheldon: Just a few more signatures, and we'll be finished. Initial here to acknowledge that you've returned your key. Okay. As my future neighbor, I'd like you to have a key. Initial here to acknowledge you received it.

Quote from Raj in the episode The 2003 Approximation

Raj: Okay, and here's the hook. "Thor and Dr. Jones. Thor and Dr. Jones. One plays with lightning. The other plays with bones."

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Helium Insufficiency

Leonard: What are we going to do?
Sheldon: Perform the experiment immediately.
Leonard: I'd love to, but we need liquid helium and our shipment's on back order for a month.
Sheldon: A month? What? Are you kidding me? That would have been a good time for you to soften the blow.
Leonard: That shirt brings out the blue in your eyes.
Sheldon: Thank you. Aren't you sweet?

Quote from Wyatt in the episode The Bachelor Party Corrosion

Wyatt: I've been sitting on a little news myself.
Penny: Well, what is it?
Wyatt: You know that rototiller I got for the tractor?
Penny: No.
Wyatt: Oh, you should see it. It is a beautiful piece of machinery. Anyway, uh, I backed over your pet pig with it.
Penny: Moondance?
Wyatt: Yeah, he's, uh, not dancing anymore.
Penny: You killed my pig?
Wyatt: I did not kill him. The vet took care of that.
Penny: When?
Wyatt: Oh, ten, twelve months ago.
Penny: You didn't tell me for a year?
Wyatt: Well, apple doesn't fall far from the tree, does it? Love ya, slugger. Gotta go.

Quote from Mary Cooper in the episode The Convergence Convergence

Mary Cooper: All right, everyone, calm down. Let's all remember what it says in the Bible: "He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty."
Beverly Hofstadter: Oh, dear woman, can you please read another book?
Mary Cooper: When God writes one, I will.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Convergence Convergence

Leonard: What is happening there?
Sheldon: I think it's pretty obvious. They don't want dessert 'cause they filled up on bread.

Quote from Penny in the episode The Convergence Convergence

Sheldon: She's still not answering.
Leonard: My father's not texting me back.
Penny: 'cause they both turned their phones off.
Sheldon: I don't like this at all.
Leonard: I don't like it either.
Penny: Really? 'cause I love it.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Convergence Convergence

Sheldon: (To Alfred) If I'd known you were broke, I wouldnt have made a big deal about the bread. (Moves a basket of bread over to Alfred)

Quote from Amy in the episode The Convergence Convergence

Alfred Hofstadter: Now, one of the more exciting things to be found recently is that Neanderthals and Homo Sapiens frequently mated with each other.
Mary Cooper: Well, that certainly explains my marriage to Sheldon's father.
Sheldon: That's funny because my father was not a very clever man.
Amy: I'd be lost without you.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Convergence Convergence

Leonard: Uh, I would like to propose a toast to my wife and bride-to-be.
Sheldon: See, that's funny because-
Amy: Back to your phone.

Quote from Penny in the episode The Convergence Convergence

Leonard: Penny, I've always known I loved you, but this last year has shown me that I also love being married to you. Thank you for saying yes.
Penny: Oh, thanks for asking until I did.

Quote from Beverly Hofstadter in the episode The Convergence Convergence

Alfred Hofstadter: I, uh, I would also like to make a toast.
Penny: Aww.
Alfred Hofstadter: Leonard, I am so happy that you have found a woman who loves and cares for you.
Beverly Hofstadter: What the hell is that supposed to mean?
Alfred Hofstadter: Why don't you take a pill?
Beverly Hofstadter: Like you did before sex?
Alfred Hofstadter: What I really needed was a blindfold.

Quote from Bernadette in the episode The Convergence Convergence

Howard: He's flashing his lights. What's that mean?
Raj: I think he wants us to pull over.
Bernadette: Do not pull over. I'm not raising this baby alone.

Quote from Mary Cooper in the episode The Convergence Convergence

Alfred Hofstadter: So, after your husband passed, you never remarried?
Mary Cooper: No, just focused on work and the church.
Alfred Hofstadter: Ah. And what do you do?
Mary Cooper: I work at the church.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Convergence Convergence

Amy: Do you realize what's happening here?
Sheldon: Yeah, I do. They're filling up on bread and ruining their meal.

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