Amy: What took you guys so long?
Leonard: Oh, we were following Howard, but for some reason, he turned off his headlights and went up a one-way street.

Amy: Do you realize what's happening here?
Sheldon: Yeah, I do. They're filling up on bread and ruining their meal.

Alfred Hofstadter: So, after your husband passed, you never remarried?
Mary Cooper: No, just focused on work and the church.
Alfred Hofstadter: Ah. And what do you do?
Mary Cooper: I work at the church.

Penny: So, what did we miss?
Alfred Hofstadter: Oh, just Mary and I getting to know each other a little.
Mary Cooper: Leonard, your father is just charming.
Beverly Hofstadter: He's also broke. Did he mention that?

Howard: He's flashing his lights. What's that mean?
Raj: I think he wants us to pull over.
Bernadette: Do not pull over. I'm not raising this baby alone.

Alfred Hofstadter: Well, on that note, there are many cultures that have an apocalyptic flood as part of their mythology.
Mary Cooper: I don't have a mythology. I have the unerring Word of God. But that's very interesting.
Alfred Hofstadter: Oh. I, I didn't mean to disparage your faith. Actually, I admire it.
Mary Cooper: Really?
Alfred Hofstadter: Yes. Yes, I'm an agnostic myself. But I have prayed many times to God, to turn my wife into a pillar of salt.
Mary Cooper: Well, He came close. Turned her into a giant block of ice.

Bernadette: Oh, stop. You know what's really happening? All the movies you've watched, the TV shows, the comic books, they've completely twisted your thinking. No one's after you, no one's listening to you, no one cares about you.
Raj: I'd like to think the Four on Your Side guy cares about me.

Raj: Howard, there must be someone at the university you can go to for help.
Howard: Are you kidding? They're probably the ones who leaked it to the military in the first place.
Raj: What about the guy on the Channel Four News? You know, Four on Your Side? Maybe he can be on your side.
Howard: I'm being harassed by the government, not trying to get to the bottom of a dog-walking scam.

Penny: You know, Beverly, I know you and Alfred have your differences, but if you think about it, if you hadn't married him, there'd be no Leonard. So that's good, right?
Beverly Hofstadter: (unemphatic) Yeah.

Mary Cooper: So, Alfred, what is it that you do for a living?
Alfred Hofstadter: Oh, I'm an anthropologist. I study ancient peoples and cultures.
Mary Cooper: My goodness, so all the way back to the Flood.
Sheldon: Don't laugh, she wasn't joking.
Amy: Play with your phone.

Howard: I'm just afraid if I respond, then they'll know I got it.
Raj: Oh, dude. The minute you opened that e-mail, they knew you got it. I mean, they're probably looking at you through the camera right now. (Howard closes the laptop, Raj re-opens it and looks at the camera) I love America!

Beverly Hofstadter: Penny, I hope the example of my failed marriage to Leonard's father doesn't discourage you from the commitment you've made to one another.
Penny: No, of course not.
Beverly Hofstadter: Although Alfred and I had a lot more going for us than you two.
Leonard: Mom, please save something for the toast.

Bernadette: Are you done with this nonsense?
Howard: It's not nonsense. This is how the U.S. military works.
Raj: Oh, if it's even the U.S. Military. It could be foreign military pretending to be American.
Howard: You're right. We turn our guidance system over to them, next thing we know, they're using it against us.
Raj: (Raj opens the laptop again) I also love the enemies of America.

Howard: I don't know what to do. It's the Air Force. I mean, should I respond to their e-mail? Ignore it?
Raj: You can't ignore it. It's not that postcard that says it's time to go back to the dentist.

Leonard: All right, you two, don't start. Penny and I are throwing this second wedding for your benefit. Can you please not ruin it?
Alfred Hofstadter: Of course. I'm sorry.
Beverly Hofstadter: Oh, look at that, you can apologize.
Leonard: Mom.
Beverly Hofstadter: I'm sorry.
Mary Cooper: You know, the Bible says forgiveness-
Sheldon: Mom.
Mary Cooper: I'm sorry.
Penny: Uh, who's hungry? We have a reservation at the best restaurant in town.
Sheldon: It only got three-and-a-half stars on Yelp.
Amy: Sheldon.
Sheldon: I'm not sorry. That's true.